


Somewhere I Have Never Travelled, Gladly Beyond

by Blue_Falcon



Category: The 100
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, G!P, Gen, Minor Character Death, Modern AU, Multi, will also have exact chapter without G!P
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 18:13:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 66,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4715744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Falcon/pseuds/Blue_Falcon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They wanted each other from the first time they laid eyes on the other.  Lots of alcohol, an almost kiss, and a missed opportunity...or so they thought.  Fate intervenes and brings Lexa and Clarke back together but can they get their shit together to be together?  Why does forbidden love seem so much sweeter?</p><p>This story will have dual chapters eventually.  One with a G!P for those that are interested in it and the exact same chapter without a G!P for those that aren't interested in it.  When the chapters are posted they will be clearly titled.</p><p> </p><p>Title is from a poem by E. E. Cummings</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Soup Sandwich

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a military term used that basically means a person is a mess. If you have any questions about the military stuff just ask, I'll be glad to answer. Also, this was not edited so if you see any errors feel free to point them out. Let me know what you think. It's my first try at this so let me know what you think and if I should continue.
> 
>  
> 
> Some were confused by the military chain of command so hopefully this helps:  
> Captain Kane: Manager of 1 store in a franchise  
> First Sergeant(1SG) Indra: Assistant store manager answers to Captain Kane  
> Sergeant First Class (SFC) Anya: supervisor over 4 departments reports to 1sg Indra  
> Staff Sergeant(SSG) Woods: supervisor of 1of the 4 departments reports to Anya  
> Sergeant(SGT) Jasper: assistant department supervisor, reports to SSG woods.  
> Specialist(SPC) Griffin: hourly worker about to get promoted to supervisor. Reports directly to team leader  
> Private first class (PFC): hourly worker reports to team leader.
> 
> I tried to put it in civilian terms. Hopefully I didn't confuse you more.

“You don't watch _Fear The Walking Dead_?” Clarke asked her team leader, Staff Sergeant Lexa Woods. “I'm trying to like you but you're making it difficult.”

 

“Griffin, I'm your Sergeant, I don't need you to like me.  I just need you to do what I tell you to do.”  Lexa said feigning impatience.

 

“Well, you should watch it.  It has my girlfriend, Alycia Debnam-Carey in it.”

 

“Does _she_ know you guys are dating.” Raven’s sarcastic question preceded her through the door of the Squad room.   

 

“Fuck off, Raven.” Clarke playfully snapped back.

 

“Griff, it's a legit question considering she's actually my girlfriend.”

 

“You wish, O!”

 

“Hey, three stooges, can we get to discussing why we are all here? Unless, you guys wanna do some front, back, goes.”

 

“No!” The three soldiers shouted in unison.

 

“Excellent!  We start our pre deployment shit in 2 weeks.  Which means equipment layouts…”

 

Clarke’s mind began wondering as she watched SSG Woods’ mouth move.  All she could think about was how kissing those lips would feel and taste. In reality the only reason she liked Alycia was because she looked just like SSG Woods.  She'd never tell her that though. 

 

It was against regulation for a Specialist to date someone that was in her chain of command and, unfortunately, SSG Woods was the first link in said chain.  Clarke was pretty sure that Lexa was attracted to her.  She would sometimes catch Lexa looking at her lips while she would lightly lick her own lips. 

 

Before Clarke realized it SSG. Woods was dismissing them and her two friends were dragging her down the hall.  Octavia, Raven, and Clarke had been together since Basic Training.  Granted, they had only been stationed one place, Fort Campbell. However, it was still unusual for them to go through basic together then, not only get stationed at the same base but be placed in the same company, squad, and team. Fate apparently had plans for them.

 

“So, I saw you zone out when SSG. Serious started talking.  You have no idea what we are supposed to be doing now, do you?”  Octavia had amazing attention to detail.  Clarke was often annoyed by it. 

 

“I know what I need to know.  Worry ‘bout yourself.”

“Hello, McFly—“ Raven, who had for some reason been walking backwards, didn't see First Sergeant Indra walking out of her office. Luckily she was on her way to get coffee and not on her way back from getting coffee.

 

With one word the 1SG had sent all three of them to the floor, “Drop.”  Immediately the three hit the floor and began doing push ups. 

 

“Specialist Griffin, do you like doing push ups?”

 

“No, First Sergeant.”

 

“Pfc. Blake, do _you_ like getting smoked?”

 

“Only by you First Sergeant.” Octavia was always one with snarky comments.  She was sure she heard Raven and Clarke tell her to shut up under their breath.

 

“That explains it then.”

 

A muttered, “don't,” reached Octavia’s ears. As always, she didn't listen.

 

“Explains what, First Sergeant?”

 

With lightening speed the 1SG was in Octavia’s face yelling, “why you don't police your battle buddy when you see her acting jacked up!” A shark attack has a different meaning for those in the Army.  “Sag in the middle! Arch your back! Sag in the middle! Arch your back!” 1SG Indra commanded. They no doubt looked ridiculous being in the push up position and sticking their asses in the air when told to arch their back and then hovering their crotch slightly above the floor when told to sag in the middle.

 

As sweat began to form on her forehead, Clarke seriously pondered why she was friends with those two.  Just when her arms began to shake, 1SG told them to recover and carry on. 

 

“I hate you.” Clarke said to them both as they quickly exited the Company building. 

 

\--

 

Lexa could hear them getting smoked in the hallway by Indra and she couldn’t help but laugh to herself.  She had gotten lucky when the three soldiers were placed in her team.  Normally, a team consisted of a team leader, a driver, and a gunner.  However, there was an extra person in the squad so Raven was placed in her team.   Each soldier brought something unique to the team.  They were all Military Police but each had a set of skills that didn’t pertain to their MOS, Military Occupation Specialty.

 

Raven could build and fix anything, which came in handy considering the equipment was always breaking.  She was brilliant and Lexa often wondered why she had joined the MP Corp.

 

As a civilian, Octavia had studied Krav Maga and was a 9th Dan.  Lexa had been very impressed with the young soldier during their combatives training.

 

Then there was Clarke.  Clarke’s mother was a heart surgeon and had insisted that she go to medical school.  That had lasted two years.  Clarke had a more advanced knowledge of first aide than what little was learned in basic. Lexa wished that that was the only thing she found interesting about Clarke but it wasn’t.  Lexa was drawn to her soldier.  She was trying to fight it but the more she was around the blonde haired, blue eyed vixen the harder it was to not stare at her lips and wish she could capture them even if it was for a mere fleeting moment. Though she knew that if she ever had the chance it would not be enough to satisfy her and she would find herself hooked.

 

Her train of thought was derailed when she heard the 1SG tell them to, in no uncertain terms, get up and get out.   Lexa was glad for the derailment. She couldn’t think about Clarke like that.  When Clarke got promoted maybe but now it was not something she could act on. 

 

Lexa was fairly certain that Clarke was just as attracted to her.  She had caught, on numerous occasions, Clarke staring at her.  She had even caught Clarke staring at her ass.  Lexa tried to pretend she didn’t see the red tint of Clarke’s cheeks but Reyes and Blake weren’t making it easy with their hushed teasing of Clarke, thinking Lexa couldn’t hear them. 

 

Lexa was startled from her thoughts by the voice of the Platoon Sergeant, Sergeant First Class Anya.

 

“Woods! Get in here!”

 

**

 

Raven and Octavia had burst into Clarke’s barracks room and demanded that she drop the paintbrush and get sexy because they were going to “get white girl wasted.”  Any soldier knows that when alcohol is mentioned it is their sworn duty to see who could out drink the other. That was how Clarke ended up at a nightclub on a Saturday night with a shot in her hand.

 

“What’s this shot called again?” Clarke asked while smelling the shot.

 

“It’s a cherry picker.  Take the shot and then eat the cherry at the bottom.” Raven answered.

 

“Cheers, bitches!”  Octavia yelled as she held up her shot. 

 

\--

 

Lexa walked through the door and held it open for Anya who was grabbing her ID from the bouncer guarding the door.

 

“I don’t know why I let you talk me into coming here. You know we will probably run into some of our soldiers.”

 

“Lexa, take a pill of the chill variety. We needed to have a little fun. If we see them we ignore them like we do any other day.  Lets get a drink.”

 

Walking towards the bar Lexa caught a flash of blonde hair.  Sure enough, walking deeper into the crowd with Blake and Reyes close behind was Clarke. _Just ignore her_ …them! _Just ignore them_.

 

\--

 

“We need more shots!”  Octavia yelled at her friends.

 

They walked, more like stumbled, off of the dance floor towards the bar.  With another shot in their hand Clarke raised her glass to make a toast but was cut off by Raven.

 

“Oh shit! Is that SSG Woods?”

 

Clarkes eyes were instantly scanning the room and found the woman that occupied most of her thoughts, “well, fuck me.”

 

"I'm pretty sure she would."  That earned Raven a glare from Clarke.

 

Lexa was playing pool with SFC Anya and two other girls.  One of which was a little too handsy for Clarkes liking.  Her eyes scanned down the length of Lexa’s body and it caused her heart to pound in her chest and ears.  The sight of Lexa out of uniform made Clarke uncomfortably wet.  Her hair was down and wavy instead of in her usual tight bun. She was wearing black skinny jeans and a muscle tank top.  Clarke could see the tattoos adorning Lexa’s amazing body.

 

“She’s drooling, look at her, Ravs. Clarke, you should go talk to her.” Raven echoed the same sentiment.

 

“Whoa, simmer down sluts.  Lets not get carried away.  That is not a good idea and you know it. Especially since we are already fucked up. Plus, she’s with SFC Bitchface.”

 

“You’re right.”  Octavia once again held up her shot and waited for the other two to join her. “To...bad decisions and amazing orgasms.”

 

Clarke brought the shot to her mouth and as the liquid hit the back of her throat her eyes connected with Lexa’s. In her drunken state she had forgotten that there was a cherry at the bottom of the shot.  It caught her by surprise and got lodged in her throat. Had Clarke not been drunk she probably would have panicked.

 

_Don’t make a scene. Don’t make a scene._ She thought.  _Lexa is staring at you and if you have to get the Heimlich you will embarrass yourself in front of everyone._

 

Clarke stood there amongst the crowd while her friends talked about...she didn't know, she was fucking choking!  Clarke’s eyes were no longer on Lexa, they were bulging out of her face and focused nowhere in particular as she tried to force down the cherry that was blocking the oxygen to her brain.

 

_They are never going to let you live this down if they find out_.  Clarke thought of her two friends. 

 

With eyes wide, face turning red, and her friends oblivious, Clarke once again found Lexa who had a look of concern on her face.

 

_Oh God, please don’t come over here.  I’ll die of embarrassment before this cherry has a chance to finish the job._

 

 

TBC…


	2. Rear Naked Choke Hold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that read the first chapter. I was a bit nervous but now I'm excited to see where this story takes us. My plan is to post a chapter every Wednesday and Sunday. Hope this holds you over until Sunday. Enjoy.

Lexa was playing her part.  She was trying to flirt with the girl that Anya had introduced to her but she couldn’t keep her mind off of her blonde soldier. She had somehow kept an eye on the pool game and another on Clarke.  She tried to tell herself that she was just being a good team leader by making sure a very drunk Clarke didn’t get into any trouble.  In reality she couldn’t keep her eyes off the woman because she looked gorgeous in a skin tight, black, strapless, thigh high cocktail dress. Lexa saw Clarke’s legs almost everyday during pt, physical training, but she had never seen them in heels. Lexa could imagine those legs wrapped around her.  She could also imagine gripping the hair at the nape of Clarke’s neck, pulling her head back while kissing up her neck, and feeling Clarke spasm around her—

 

It wasn’t easy to remain at the pool table as she watched some whore…okay, so she didn’t know the girl. Lexa really didn’t have any knowledge of whether the girl was a whore or not.  However, she was grinding against Clarke, her Clarke. Lexa wouldn’t really consider herself jealous but as she shot eye daggers at the random girl and gripped the table with all of her strength she realized she might need to reevaluate that.

 

Lexa had just taken her shot and chanced a glance to where she last had seen Clarke on the dance floor.  She soon realized that they were no longer dancing and scanned near the bar.  The sight that greeted her was not one that she had expected to see.  Raven and Octavia in their own world, as usual, and Clarke trying to appear calm but her eyes told a different story.  She could see Clarke’s face turning red and Lexa realized what was happening. She leaned her cue on the table and turned to walk to Clarke when she was stopped by Anya’s hand on her arm.

 

“Where are you going?” She slurred.

 

She didn’t want to tell Anya the real reason so she lied, “I have to pee.”

 

“Don’t break the seal.”

 

Lexa broke the contact and began to quickly walk to Clarke mumbling “yeah, seal, got it” over her shoulder to a very intoxicated Anya.

 

\--

 

 _This is it,_ Clarke thought.  _I’m going to die._  Before she could die of either choking or embarrassment a miracle happened; the cherry dislodged.  Clarke instantly took a very audible breath that caught the attention of her oblivious friends.

 

“Oh my God, you guys I just choked on that fucking cherry!”

 

“What the fuck, Clarke!  Why didn’t you say something?” 

 

“I’m sorry, Ravs, but I was choking. I couldn’t breathe, so how the hell am I going to talk?”

 

“Raven is right.  You could have given us a signal or something.”

 

“I didn’t want to make a scene and I didn’t want SSG Woods to see…oh fuck my life, here she comes—Hey!  Look who it is.  Enjoying your night?”

 

Lexa stood awkwardly in front of the trio. She hadn’t quite thought her plan through.  She had seen the change in Clarke’s expression halfway to her but she still wanted to make sure that she was okay. 

 

“Um, yeah.  I just…I thought…are you okay?”

 

Raven and Octavia smirked at each other when Clarke let out a nervous laugh before answering, “Yeah, I uh…I had a cherry trying to get intimate with my esophagus.”  Clarke mentally face palmed.

 

“She choked on a cherry.”  Octavia stated matter-of-factly.

 

Raven wasn’t positive but she was pretty sure that she was picking up on some sexual tension between her friend and her fearless leader, even though they were clearly trying to hide it from the other. She thought maybe they needed a little time alone.

 

“Let's go, Spaghetti-O. We need some drinks.”

 

“I stopped calling you Raven-oli, so stop calling me that.”  Lexa heard the girl pout as they made their way to the bar. 

 

“Are you sure you are okay?”  Lexa had reached out to touch Clarke but she remembered who she was to Clarke and pulled her hand back. 

 

“Yes, sergeant, I’m sure.  Are—“

 

“Lexa.  Obviously when we are wearing the uniform or around higher ranking then keep it formal but right now you can call me Lexa.”

 

“Okay, Lexa.”  Clarke liked the way Lexa’s eyes lit up when she heard her name roll off of Clarke’s luscious lips.  “Are you having fun? Is that your girl—what’s your friend’s name?”  Clarke really didn’t care what that girl’s name was.  She just wanted to verify if she and Lexa were a couple. 

 

“She’s not really my friend, I just met her tonight. Her name is Maya. See the woman with Anya?” Clarke shook her head yes.  “Maya is friends with her and since she is all over Anya I guess you could say I was brought to entertain her.”

 

“So basically take one for the team.”

 

“No! I’m not going to sleep with…I shouldn’t be talking about this with you.  Anyway, Anya drug me here and so here I am…making sure you aren’t dying.”

 

“I’m glad she drug you here.”  Was Clarke flirting?  Yes, yes she was. 

 

The alcohol had loosened her tongue and the close proximity to Lexa was causing chaos in her brain.  Together, it had the potential to be a disastrous combination.  But then again, the blush that appeared on Lexa’s face as she dropped her head to shyly look anywhere but in Clarke’s eyes told her that it also had the potential to be celestial.

 

Lexa’s movement had caused a curl to fall in her face. Without thought, Clarke reached to place it behind Lexa’s ear.  Clarke’s feather light touch caused Lexa to finally look up and into the eyes that had haunted her dreams.  There they stood, unmoving amongst the vibrating crowd, with their eyes locked on each other and the bass of the music pulsing through their bodies. 

 

“Do you want—“ Clarke was cut off by an unwelcomed visitor.

 

“There you are, Lex.” The handsy one had returned.

 

Lexa was startled out of her entrancement, “Hey, yeah I uh…I was on my way to the bathroom and ran into my soldier.”

 

Maya placed her arm around Lexa’s waist. Clarke’s eyes looked nearly black instead of the vibrant blue they had been only moments prior. Lexa could also see Clarke clenching her jaw. Maya reached her hand out to introduce herself to Clarke since Lexa, who was having difficulty taking control of the situation, had yet to introduce her.

 

“Hi, I’m Harper.”

 

 _Harper?_ Lexa thought _. I was_ way _off._

“Hi, Harper.  I was just telling Lexa about how much you look like my friend, Maya. It’s uncanny, really.” Clarke deadpanned.

 

Lexa coughed to cover her laugh. Lexa didn’t like how Harper had her armed possessively wrapped around her, she had only known the girl for a few hours.  Clarke definitely did not hide her disdain for Harper.

 

Before things could get any more awkward the drinks arrived carried by an arguing pair. 

 

“Don’t get so offended, O.  All I’m saying is that I’d be more likely to survive an apocalypse.”

 

“Well, I can still kick your ass.”

 

“I could have only one good leg and I’d still be able to kick your ass.”

 

Before Octavia could choke her friend out Raven started passing out drinks, “Oh, we have a new face.  I’m Raven.  I only bought enough shots for my friends and I but if you come with me it will be my pleasure to buy you a drink.”  Clarke could have kissed Raven in that moment.  Lexa could have too.

 

Harper’s arm dropped from Lexa’s waist as she stepped towards Raven, “I’m never one to turn down a drink from a gorgeous woman. “

 

As the two walked away Lexa realized that she was relieved and not hurt at all.  She didn’t want Clarke to think that there was anything between her and Harper. That thought concerned Lexa. She had to get away from Clarke because coherent thought and proper actions were not possible for Lexa when she was around her. 

 

“Sorry about your date.” Clarke didn’t look like she was sorry.

 

“She wasn’t my date.  No harm, no foul.  I should get back to Anya.  Enjoy the rest of your night, ladies.”  The look that graced Clarke’s features almost was enough to make her stay.

 

Clarke watched with longing as Lexa weaved her way through the crowd back to the pool tables.  She was sad that she didn’t get to spend any more time with Lexa but she was estatic that Harper wasn’t spending any time with Lexa either.

 

“Let’s go get another shot, Princess.”

 

Get shots they did.  Clarke didn’t see Lexa any more that night and it made her heart ache a little.  They closed down the club and by the time the taxi had arrived to pick them up all three of them were three sheets to the wind.  Octavia was certain they were on _Taxicab Confessions_ , which made for a few awkward moments.  They had somehow managed to make into their respective barracks room without injuring themselves, which was a feat. 

 

Alone in her room, lying on her bed, Clarke replayed the events of the night.  She couldn’t stop thinking about how sexy Lexa looked.  The thought made her clit throb.  Clarke gently guided her had down her stomach and under the band of her pajamas. She closed her eyes tight when her fingers reached their destination.  That was a horrible idea.  As soon as her eyes shut the world tilted on its axis and began violently spinning. Clarke was up and running to the bathroom before her mind had a chance to comprehend what was happening.

 

She had made it to the toilet just in time for her stomach to empty its contents of the night.  As she was violently emptying her stomach everything but the feeling of throwing stopped.  She felt like she was still throwing up but nothing was escaping her mouth.  It was at that moment that she realized she was choking on that fucking cherry for the second time that night.  Only this time, she was by herself. 

 

_Don’t panic. Don’t panic!_

 

_TBC..._


	3. Bravo Foxtrot (Buddy Fucker)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished early so I decided to go ahead and post it. As usual, if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask. Leave a comment if you are so inclined. Enjoy!

“And for that reason, ladies, we will no longer be getting shots with cherries.” 

 

Clarke had just finished explaining her second brush with death thanks to that bitch, Marashino.  In the same fashion as the first time, she had forced it out. She took her shirt off due to vomiting on it. Instead of walking back to her bed she just laid on the bathroom floor because it was cold and she was on fire.  Sometime in the middle of the night she woke up freezing and again, instead of crawling to her bed she just covered herself with her bath mat. She was a hot mess. Clarke had gotten lucky; she didn’t have a roommate.

 

Before the two friends could stop laughing to tease Clarke, she was called into the squad room.  They had been outside in front of the company building with most everyone else waiting for the end of the day formation.  It was their favorite time of day because it meant that they got to go home.

 

“Moving Staff Sergeant!” Clarke called out to SSG Gustus.  Clarke moved with a purpose running the short distance to the doors.  When she arrived at the squad room Lexa was the only one in there. She was sitting in her office chair, legs crossed, and slowly spinning a pencil that she had in her hands (the lead tip poking into the index finger of her left hand and the eraser end in her right hand).   The look on Lexa’s face made Clarke instantly wet.  Lexa knew what she was doing to Clarke.

 

“Feeling better?” Lexa asked not looking at Clarke but at the pencil tip. 

 

“Yes, Staff Sergeant.  Thankfully I had the weekend to recover.”  Clarke answered while standing at parade rest.  If Clarke thought Lexa was going to be as open as she was at the club, she was horribly mistaken.

 

\--

 

The whole weekend Lexa had replayed the events of the night at the club over and over in her head.  She was so close to just dragging Clarke to her house and making love to her until they forgot everything around them.  She knew she couldn’t let that happen again. If Clarke wasn’t her soldier it probably wouldn’t cause anybody to turn their heads.  Unfortunately, Clarke was her soldier and there definitely would be repercussions.  She was stuck between a rock and a hard place.  Lexa had made a choice.  Until Clarke was promoted and no longer her soldier she would maintain her bearing and abide by the rules that regulated her actions.

 

However, now with Clarke standing in front of her it was easier said than done.  Clarke out of uniform was hella sexy but Clarke in uniform was a different kind of hella sexy.  _Focus on the pencil.  Focus on the fucking pencil_.  _You called her in here so say something.  Anything._

“Well, that’s good to here because we are going to be very busy until we deploy.  We are getting two new soldiers.  Sgt Jasper should be on his way back with them.  Introduce them to the platoon and tomorrow I need you to take them to Battalion and finish inprocessing them since Sgt Jasper will be busy. Do you think you can handle that?”   Clarke seemed taken aback as she nodded yes.  “You’re dismissed.” Lexa didn’t mean to sound so commanding but the more she was around Clarke the more she felt her walls falling and she needing to have them up when she was around Clarke.

 

Lexa kept her composure until Clarke was no longer in view.  She dropped her head into her hands and slowly let out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding.

 

“You all right?”  Sgt Jasper asked as he entered the room.

 

“I think the Gods hate me.”

 

“Maybe it was something you did in a past life.”

 

\--

 

 _What the fuck just happened?_ Clarke thought as she walked down the hall, nearly running into Sgt Jasper.

 

“Hey sky girl, get your head out of the clouds. You okay?  You seem a little spaced out.”

 

“Sorry, Sergeant.”

 

“So now I’m a sorry Sergeant?” Jasper winked to let her know he wasn’t serious.

 

“Haha, you know what I meant. But to answer your question, yes, I’m okay.  I was just walking outside to meet your new soldiers.”

 

“They are out there. Their names are Spc. Lincoln and Pfc. Monty. “ 

 

Clarke vaguely paid attention as she walked down the hall towards the door.  She had felt so close to Lexa at the club and then today it was like it had never happened. Maybe Lexa was just acting like since they were at work.  Clarke really hoped that was the reason.  Clarke’s thoughts were halted when she opened the door to find a bald Adonis and a cute, nerdy guy.

 

“Which one of you is Lincoln and which is Monty?” Clarke abruptly asked. “Okay, lets go meet the douche canoes.”

 

Clarke walked into the hoard of soldiers that were waiting around, hurry up and wait was their motto.  She introduced them around and turned to walk towards her two battle buddies.  The sight before her made her laugh out loud.   Raven was speaking adamantly to Octavia, wild hand gestures and everything, and Octavia was staring open mouthed in Clarke’s direction.  As Clarke got closer she heard Raven ask if Octavia was listening to her.

 

“No.” Was Octavia’s abrupt answer.

 

“Well, excuse the fuck out of me for trying to educate you on—“

 

“Hey losers, meet Lincoln and Monty. They are going to be in Sgt Jasper’s team. Fellas, these sexy bitches are Reyes and Blake.” 

 

Raven stuck her hand out first to the two new faces. Octavia still had yet to blink or close her mouth.  

 

“Well, hello. “ She said shaking their hands. “That’s a firm grip you have there, Lincoln Log.  It’s kind of ironic.”

 

That snapped Octavia out of her reverie. _Oh, hell no, Ravs.  I saw him first!_

“What is ironic?”

 

“That your name is Lincoln but you’re built like a Dodge.”

 

“That was lame.”  Octavia stated while looking at Raven out of the corner of her eye. “Rayday, Rayday! We’re going down!” A jerking Octavia yelled while pretending to hold an invisible yoke of a plane that was crashing. “Did you see that, Raven? That was your joke…crashing and burning.”  All was fair in lust and war.

 

Everyone’s laughter was cut short by the 1SG’s booming voice, “FALL IN!”  Instantly everyone was lined up in four separate platoons, in 4 different squads standing at the position of attention.  Company Commander, Captain Kane, took charge of the formation and addressed the company.  Clarke wasn’t really paying attention because she was so close to Lexa.  Lexa’s perfume was caught in the wind and encompassed Clarke. She was having a hard time controlling her ragged breathing and it was making her dizzy. 

 

They were dismissed for the day and Clarke thought she was home free until she heard Lexa call for her squad.

 

“Okay, tomorrow we are doing combatives training so be prepared.  Make sure your barracks room is to standard because there may or may not be an inspection tomorrow. Other than that have a good night and stay out of trouble.” 

 

As everyone else walked away, Clarke walked towards Lexa.  Earlier something had felt off and it was making her feel uneasy.

 

“Is everything okay, Sgt. Woods?” If felt weird calling her Sgt. Woods after calling her Lexa. 

 

“Honestly?  No. I’m pretty sure you know what I’m talking about.  I feel something for you but we both know that right now we can’t act on it.  I’m struggling and being close to you makes it damn near impossible to focus on anything but you.  I asked to have you moved out of my team but being so close to deployment Anya is less inclined.  We have to wait until you get promoted.  It sucks but that is the way it has to be.”  Clarke knew that this was true and not something Lexa could help but her face showed the disappointment nevertheless.  Lexa hated seeing anything but smiles on Clarke’s face.  She knew she shouldn’t say what she was about to say but she couldn’t have the day’s last image of Clarke be the sad look she was seeing.  “So if you could stop being so damn irresistible around me, I would appreciate it.”  The brilliant smile that adorned Clarke’s face was more than worth it.  “I have to go, Clarke.  We will figure it out.  Good night.”

 

Clarke watched with longing as Lexa walked towards the parking lot.  The look of longing changed to one of confused jealousy as SSG Costia Greene joined Lexa. Clarke wanted to be the one walking with Lexa and making her smile.  She wasn’t the jealous type, so it was a surprise that she was feeling that emotion. Not being able to be with the one you want can make a girl feel things she normally wouldn’t. Life was unfair.

 

\--

 

Lexa had to walk away.  It was becoming increasingly difficult to not just give in. She had always been closed off to love, believing that love was weakness.  However, when she looked into Clarke’s eyes she could understand what E. E. Cummings meant when he wrote, “your slightest look easily will unclose me though I have closed myself as fingers.”   Lexa was deep in thought about the affect that Clarke was having on her when she felt a light touch on her shoulder and join in step with her.

 

“A penny for your thoughts?”  Her friend, Costia, asked her.

 

“Cos…how about a drink for my thoughts.”

 

Costia had never see her friend look so down. She wasn’t sure what was going on but she was determined to help her friend.  “I’ll drive.”

 

Lexa stopped to look at the trio of female soldiers, as the one Costia thought was Raven, yelled, “Golden Girls drinking game tonight!”  The sigh that escaped Lexa coupled with the look on her face told Costia that whatever was bothering Lexa probably involved one of those girls. 

 

\--

 

“Fuck you guys.”  Clarke moaned as she stretched along with everyone else during PT.

 

“Hey, it’s not our fault you picked Sofia. We all know that if you want to get drunk you pick zing and Sofia…which you did.  You’ve no one to blame but yourself.  Now that being said, I will let you blame me for suggesting we play the game.  I think I’m going to throw up.”

 

“We could say that we will never do it again but we all know we would be lying.”

 

“I didn’t know this was social hour; how about less talking and more stretching.   Unless, you three are done and want to start running six miles?”

 

“No, SFC Anya.”  They exclaimed in unison.

 

Clarke wasn’t positive but she was pretty sure she heard Lexa snicker.  When she turned to look at Lexa and could see the tiny smirk she was positive. Their eyes met and for a moment it was just them, everything else faded away.  SFC Anya’s voice jarred them from their universe.  Clarke turned back around and stood up, she couldn’t stop the smile forming on her lips. 

 

\--

 

Lexa was sporting a hangover herself. She was regretting her decision to do combatives for pt.  She had stayed out drowning her sorrow and spilling everything to Costia. It had helped her to get an outsiders opinion.  Costia had said exactly what Lexa knew; she had to wait.  When it came to Clarke, patience was not what she was feeling. She was thankful she had someone to talk to about her predicament.  Lexa trusted Costia.  Not only to keep what they talked about between them but she also trusted her to give her unbiased truth.

 

“Sgt. Fox, Spc. Miller, and Pfc. Jaha are working the road today so they won’t be here and Sgt. Jasper has some things to take care of today.  Which means it’s just us. Okay troops, lets get started. ” Lexa led them to an area away from everyone else and began instructing them on different holds and techniques and watching as they tried them out on each other.  When she instructed them to pair off and continue practicing, Lexa realized that she was going to have to pair with one of the Three Amigas. _Please don’t be Clarke.  Please be Clarke._

“Who needs a partner?” Lexa asked the trio.

 

“Clarke!”  Raven all but yelled.

 

“Seriously?”  Clarke muttered under her breath to Raven.  She was excited and terrified all at the same time.  Terrified that she wouldn’t be able to keep in the realm of combat. _Sweet baby Jesus, please get me through this without dry humping her._

_Lexa_ visibly gulped before answering with a smirk, “Don’t worry, I’ll take it easy on you.”

 

“Don’t.”  Clarke said with a wink. 

 

_How can she unravel me with one word?_

 

They all started on their knees to keep them from getting injured.  The guys had a tendency to slam each other into the ground when they started from the standing position. It was too close to deployment to get injured. 

 

Lexa found that Clarke wasn’t as easy to beat as she thought she was going to be.  Lexa had quickly gotten Clarke into the mount position (straddling her upper torso). She was attempting to execute an arm bar but, the stronger than she looks, Clarke had somehow rolled them. Lexa was now in the guard position (Lexa on the bottom and Clarke on top with Lexa’s legs wrapped around Clarke’s lower torso.) Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke’s neck to pull her closer to keep her from executing any moves. That was a bad idea. Clarke went still in Lexa’s arms. Lexa gently stroked Clarke’s neck with the tip of her nose.  Clarke and Lexa’s ragged breath wasn’t just from the fighting.  Clarke subconsciously rocked her hips.  Clarke grinned at the small gasp that escaped Lexa’s lips. The pleasant sensation was short lived when they both heard a soft cough followed by Octavia’s voice.

 

“You know we can see you, right. I mean the guys aren’t because they are busy trying to kill each other but we can still see you.” Clarke had never wanted to kill and thank Octavia at the same time but she did in that moment. Had they been seen they both could have gotten into a lot of trouble, Lexa more than Clarke.

 

Lexa became ridged beneath her, “let me up.” Lexa’s voice was eerily calm and detached.    “Okay, guys. Good job.  Be back here in ACU’s at 0900 hours. “  With that said she abruptly turned and walked away, without a second look at Clarke. 

 

Clarke’s elation was short lived as she watched Lexa walk away.  She couldn’t stop her body from responding to Lexa.  It was just natural for her body to react to Lexa’s.  Unfortunately, that was the wrong place and wrong time.

 

“Sorry, Clarke.  I didn’t want SFC Anya to walk over here and see.  Then she would really be ‘on ya,’ ya know?”

 

Clarke watched as Lexa disappeared from view. Her heart was breaking. “Yeah, thanks, O. I’ll see you guys later. I just need…” She didn’t finish her sentence as she walked away, leaving two concerned friends in her wake.

 

“Way to go Bloctavia! Fucking Taco Blocko!”

 

“Taco Blocko?”

 

“Yeah, it’s like cock block but for females. I read it on BuzzFeed. Don’t question it, just go with it. Don’t ruin it like you ruined all of my hard work!”  Raven said as she pushed by her laughing friend.

 

 

TBC…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to pose a question to the masses. Once we get to the sex part who would prefer a G!P and who would prefer no G!P? I'm going to go with the majority. Thanks for your input. 
> 
>  
> 
> Follow me on tumbler whiskeytangofoxtrot_over


	4. Drink water and drive on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I know I said every Wednesday and Sunday but I'm writing them faster than I had expected. So scratch the whole Wed/Sun thing.  
> The response to this series has been amazing and I appreciate everyone that has taken the time to read this story. I listen to music to help me write some scenes so if you want to hear what I was imagining them listening to in certain parts I'll list them below. This chapter is a bit longer than the others. Hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think!
> 
> The Clarke/Lexa scene during the inspection: I've Been Loving You Too Long by Otis Redding.  
> When Raven goes to Clarke's room and hears music: Free Me by Otis Redding.

Lexa watched Clarke through the squad room window.  She had let herself get carried away earlier that day during training.  Lexa knew she needed to reign in her feelings for Clarke.  If anyone even perceived that they might be in a relationship it could mean a lot of trouble for both of them, more so for Lexa since she was higher ranking.  Clarke made Lexa want to say rules be damned and just take her every which way possible but, for Lexa, the Army was life; she was making a career out of it.  Like the good soldier she was, she always followed the rules.  It wasn't like they could never be together, they just had to wait a little bit.  The waiting was more difficult than Lexa had expected. As she watched Clarke interact with her friends and laugh at whatever was said, Lexa couldn't resist imagining that it was her making Clarke laugh, her making Clarke smile, her making Clarke moan.  Lexa's fingers gripped the top of the window tighter at the thought of Clarke writhing in pleasure beneath her.  Her musings were ended abruptly at the intrusive sound of an unwelcome visitor.

"That was a lovely show you and Spc. Griffin put on this morning.  Inspirational, really.  I'll definitely be replaying it in my head later.  You know, for training purposes."  SSG Cage Wallace sneered.  Lexa knew he didn't mean for training but of course he had to add that last bit to cover his sexual harassing ass. 

 _Fuck! I guess Reyes and Blake weren't the only ones to see._  

"Have to replay it in your head because you can't get anyone to 'train' with you? That's a pity.  I bet your hand is getting tired.  You know, from all the 'training' you do alone.  Is there a reason you're in my office, other than to tell me about your lack of a training schedule?"  Lexa was in full Staff Sergeant mode.  She wasn't going to appear ruffled to the pompous ass that was wasting her oxygen.  

Cage's eyes flashed with anger but his voice remained calm, "I just thought I'd remind you, Lexa, that any relationship with Spc. Griffin is inappropriate and I'd have to turn you in to 1SG Indra.  I'd hate to see you lose rank or be confined."  Lexa knew he wouldn't hate either of those things.  

"First, you will address me by my rank and last name, we are not on a first name basis.  Second, I don't know what you  _think_ you saw but let me drop some facts on you.  When doing combatives bodies touch, they get real close and personal.  Do you honestly think that even if there was something going on between Spc. Griffin and I that we would act on it in a setting like PT?  Come on SSG Wallace, I thought you were smarter than that.  Now, if there is nothing else, I have work to do before formation."  With that she pretended to be looking up something super important on her computer.  She breathed a sigh of relief when Scar finally walked out the door.  

"Fucking fucked fuck!" Lexa muttered to herself. 

\--

The day had moved like a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter...and molasses.  They had been in the Arms Room cleaning their weapons the whole day.  The only thing that had made it bearable was the constant banter between her two best friends.  Clarke was getting a little concerned by the fact that Lexa hadn't said anything to her or even looked in her direction since their accountability formation at 0900 that morning.  Clarke had a bad feeling about the whole situation and she couldn't shake it.  She had tried to catch Lexa's eye but it was almost as if Lexa was going out of her way to avoid Clarke.  She was getting frustrated and feeling something akin to hurt.  Now they were standing next to each other for the end of the day formation and Clarke could feel the electricity cracking between them.   _Why is she denying herself this? No one has to know._

What Clarke didn't know was that someone was already suspicious and if they gave in to temptation then people would surely know.  You can't hide requited love.

Clarke was startled out of her thoughts by SFC Anya's loud command of "FALL OUT!" Which released them from the formation.  

Lexa addressed her squad before they took off in all different directions, "We didn't get to the inspections today so you have another day to get your rooms squared away.  There will be no excuses if your rooms looks like spanked booty.  You're all adults.  We shouldn't have to tell you guys that mold growing on shit is not acceptable...Miller."  Lexa said with a little smirk to belay any question of whether she was joking or not. "Have a good night and stay out of trouble." Without a glance to Clarke the whole time, Lexa turned and walked towards her car.  Like the evening before, Clarke watched with jealousy as SSG home wrecker joined Lexa.

"Hey Griffs, we are all gonna go see a movie later.  You down." Raven asked.

Without taking her eyes off of Lexa, Clarke answered her friend, "Sure I'm down.  Where is Octavia."

"She went with Lincoln to the gas station.  We are all gonna meet at my room in a hour." Raven said while walking towards their rooms. 

\--

Clarke had finished getting ready in record speed and decided to draw a little before she had to head to Raven's room when someone began to furiously bang on the hallway door, "Oh my God, Clarke open the door! Hurry!"

Octavia's voice didn't sound serious but it did sound urgent.  When Clarke opened the door she didn't have time to register anything as Octavia was pulling her out of her quad and down the hall to Raven's room, "you're never going to believe this.  Remember how Raven is always giving us shit about what we listen to and says 'if it ain't screamo then it's lame...o'?  Well, wait until you hear this, come on we are going to miss it." Octavia was talking and walking so fast that Clarke was having a hard time keeping up.

Raven and Octavia were roommates.  They had their own rooms but they shared a kitchen and a bathroom (quad).  When Octavia opened their quad door and they stepped inside, Clarke's eyes went wide and huge grin appeared on her face.

"Oh my fucking fuck! She's listening to Mmmbop!" Clarke whispered through her laugh.  They could hear Raven, who they assumed hadn't expected Octavia for another twenty minutes, singing to a song that Clarke and Octavia loved but Raven had adamantly stated she hated.  

The pair burst through Raven's door eliciting a horrified scream from Raven.  Raven stood in shock as she watched Clarke bent at the waist singing into her hand mic and shaking her ass in circles near Octavia's pelvis and Octavia also singing in her hand mic, pretending to grind and air smack Clarke's ass, "Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du, yeah!"

Clarke and Octavia burst out into laughter and Raven looked like she could murder them right there.  

"I swear to all that is holy! If you tell anyone about this I will make your deaths look like an accident!" 

"Aww look at her, Clarke.  She's stark _Raven_ mad."

"Damn, that was a good one!"

"Shut up, both of you! This never happened! I'm serious! I'll deny it to the grave."

"Take it away, O!" Clarke said while placing her hand mic in front of Octavia's mouth.

"Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du, yeah!"

"Wicka, wicka, waa!" Clarke yelled while air scratching a record.

"I hate you both." Raven said as she passed them walking to her bathroom.

Clarke and Octavia would never let her live that down.  They would bring that up until the end of time.  

"Lets go, assholes!" Raven yelled as she walked out of the quad.

The trio met Lincoln and Monty at the movies.  Octavia said that she and Lincoln were just "hanging out" but Clarke thought that if they decided to make it official they would be a gorgeous couple and, damn, they would make beautiful babies.  Lincoln didn't talk much but when he was with Octavia it seemed like he didn't shut up.  Monty was like a little brother but a little brother you actually liked having tag along.  Raven was still pouting from the earlier events.  Clarke just wanted to forget Lexa for a little bit.

That's what she wanted but that's not what happened.

\--

"Hey, what's got you all doom and gloom?" Costia asked as she met Lexa to walk to their vehicles.

"It's not what, it's who.  Scarface.  He paid me a little visit today to tell me that he was watching mine and Clarke's dry humping session.  I'm sure I did nothing but pique his interest further.  He has bad blood and is apparently out for mine.  I'm panicking a little."

"Wanna do something to take your mind off this for a bit?  Don't let him stress you out."

"Sure, what did you have in mind?"  Lexa asked as she glanced over her shoulder to look at Clarke, who was walking to her barracks, one more time.

\--

Clarke and the gang had taken seats at the back of the theater and were talking amongst themselves before the previews, Octavia allowed no talking during the previews, when Clarke caught two women walk up the stairs and take seats a few rows below theirs.

_No fucking way. Just ignore them. Maybe the others didn't see them._

_"_ Hey isn't the SSG's Woods and Greene?" Monty asked. Fuck that, she no longer wanted Monty around.  He was the annoying little brother that pointed out the obvious.  She didn't really believe that...she just needed to take her anger out on someone. 

Thankfully, Raven and Octavia pretended they couldn't see where he was talking about.  Monty forgot about the two SSG's when the lights dimmed and the previews began.  Clarke couldn't forget.  She was so aware of their presence and couldn't stop looking in their direction.  She would clench her jaw and see red every time Costia touched Lexa's arm or made Lexa laugh.  No, she, Clarke Griffin, was supposed to be the one making Lexa laugh.  She was supposed to be touching Lexa.  She was supposed to be sitting next to Lexa.  Was Lexa trying to get over Clarke by getting under Costia?  All of those thoughts were racing around in Clarke's mind and making it hard to focus on the movie.  If asked about, Clarke wouldn't have been able to tell them a single thing about it.  Clarke didn't think Lexa would be able too either, for some reason Lexa and Costia had left as soon as the movie ended and Clarke made sure they hung back to avoid the duo.

To a strangers eye Lexa and Costia seemed like just friends but to Clarke's jealous eyes it looked like a romance was budding between them.  Her rational brain tried to tell her she was being stupid and that she had no right to be angry because she and Lexa weren't in a relationship but her irrational brain was screaming louder.  Clarke remained quiet the whole ride home.  Octavia filled the tense silence with talk of her admiration for Lincoln.  Clarke and Raven were, for once, both thankful that Octavia never shut up. 

\--

Lexa hadn't been to the movies in forever.  Life as a Staff Sergeant kept her pretty busy.  She had let Costia talk her into it and she was surprised to say that she was really enjoying herself.  She hadn't really thought of Clarke until she walked in the theater and thought she saw a flash of blonde hair out of the corner of her eye.  Clarke had been occupying almost her every thought.  She hated to admit it but Cage had gotten to her.  She wanted nothing more than to be with Clarke but she knew that she had to proceed with the relationship properly.  Every time Lexa looked at Clarke she could feel the butterflies in her stomach come alive and flutter.  Clarke was every thing that Lexa had wanted for herself but never thought she would find.  Fate's twisted sense of humor had allowed Lexa to find her but was keeping Clarke just out of grasp.  Fate could be an evil bitch sometimes.

Lexa decided to push thoughts of Clarke away.  She was at the movies with her friend and Costia deserved to have Lexa with her mentally and physically.  So with a sigh, Lexa quieted Clarke's presence in her mind and focused on her friend.

"You glad you came?"  Costia asked when she heard Lexa sigh.

"Yeah, I always have fun with you. Um, but I feel like someone is watching me."

"Whoa, big head.  You're cute but not everything is about you.  People are here to see the movie not stare at you."  Costia teased as she laughed and touched Lexa's arm.

Lexa laughed at her friend.  She was right, Lexa was being paranoid, she knew that but it didn't change the fact that Lexa felt like someone was watching her during the whole movie.  

\--

Clarke slept for shit, which was making the six mile run horrible.  She was sluggish and just wanted to go back to bed.   _Why the fuck did I sign up to run six miles at six in the morning._

Raven, Octavia, and Clarke always ran together to help pace each other but also because running with friends just made running suck less.   They were running a little slower than normal.  Lack of sleep tended to make extremities feel twenty pounds heavier.  Her heart seemed to feel a little heavier after what she thought she had seen the night prior. 

"Clarke, are you okay?"  Raven asked a little breathless.

"Yeah, you know, PMSing and not sleeping." 

"Hey! If you can talk you aren't running fast enough.  Woods may let you slack off, Griffin, but your boots aren't under my bed so I have no problem telling you to cut the shit and run."  SSG Wallace practically yelled.  "How about a 'Yes, Staff Sergeant'!"  He sneered when they didn't respond.

"Yes, Staff Sergeant!" They yelled in unison.

The three looked at each other as SSG Cage Wallace ran ahead of them.  The shock of what had just happened was apparent on all of their faces.

"Did he just insinuate that I'm sleeping with SSG Woods?"

"I think so. What the fuck was that about?" Octavia asked.

" _He's_ probably _man_ struating." Raven added.

"It's menstruating, Ravs."  Clarke added.

"You know like _MANstruating_  because he's a man and bitchy.   _Man_ stru...whew, tough crowd today.  Never mind."  

Raven had never seen her friend like that.  Clarke always joked around.  Even when her father had died during Basic Training she had still laughed at the little jokes that Raven and Octavia had made to make Clarke smile a little.  Raven was really worried about her friend.  

"Sorry, Ra-" Clarke's apology was cut off.

"Griffin, enough chatter. I'm pretty sure I just heard SSG Wallace tell you all to cease talking and run.  So I don't understand why you all aren't complying?"

"SSG Woods we were just-"

"I don't want to hear your excuses, Griffin.  He gave you an order, now follow it.  All of you."  Lexa stated firmly.

_What the actual fuck!  Seriously?  Fine, two can play this game._

"Roger, Staff Sergeant!" The fire storm in Clarke's eyes as she looked into Lexa's soul made Lexa's heart stop.  Clarke picked up the pace, followed by her friends, and left Lexa in her wake. 

Lexa watched Clarke speed off.  Her eyes caught Cage's amused eyes, he had turned to look at the scene that had just unfolded.   _Fuck you._ Lexa screamed at him, screams that he couldn't hear.

"You were a little hard on Griffin, don't you think?"  Costia asked while keeping up with Lexa's accelerated pace.  

"No, I don't.  We are still in the Army, SSG Greene.  She was given a lawful order and they had yet to comply with it.  We have rules for a reason."  Lexa answered with no emotion and keeping her eyes set straight ahead of her.

"You're absolutely right, _Lexa,"_ Costia wasn't sure why Lexa had become formal with her, "but ask yourself one thing.  Would you have done that if it hadn't been Clarke?  My guess is you would have just kept running.  Really think about it."  With that question Lexa increased her speed and pulled away from Costia.  "Oh, Lexa.  You can't run from love."

\--

Clarke was furious.  How dare Lexa single her out like that!  Lexa was so fucking hot and cold.  It was making Clarke dizzy with all the back and forth.  Clarke had seen Costia run up to Lexa after she had been a bitch to Clarke.   _Of course! She's showing off for her new girlfriend._ Clarke had thought.  She ran until she felt like she was going to pass out.  She had nothing left, it was all left on the black top.  Clarke was stretching in silence and could feel eyes on her.  She instinctively knew they belonged to Lexa.  Clarke wanted to hang on to her anger but she could feel it slipping away as she turned and locked eyes with the tormentor of her heart.  Lexa approached her after they were all released to get ready for the day that laid ahead of them.

"Spc. Griffin, I need to have a word with you.  Go on Reyes and Blake.  She won't be long and I'm sure you don't need her assistance with showering."  Lexa tried to joke but the pissed off girls didn't entertain her joke.  They only looked to affirm that Clarke was okay with them leaving without her.  Lexa felt comfort in the fact that Clarke had friends that cared that much and protected Clarke.

Lexa was relieved that most everyone had left the area so that she could talk to Clarke candidly.  Clarke had other plans.  She wasn't going to let Lexa off the hook so easily.  Clarke stood in front of Lexa at parade rest and didn't speak until Lexa spoke to her.

"Um, Clarke...I need to apologize.  I was an asshole."  Lexa paused to plan what she would say next but Clarke spoke before she had the chance to finish.

"No need to apologize, Staff Sergeant Woods."  Lexa was almost frozen to the bone by Clarke's cold tone and demeanor.

"Clarke."  

"You set the rules, I'm just following them."

"I was wrong, Clarke.  Wallace said something to me yesterday about seeing us during combatives and it scared me.  We have a lot to lose if we can't control our feelings.  I singled you out because I didn't want people thinking that I was giving you preferential treatment.  When in reality had I just left you alone I would have been treating you the same as I do anyone else.  I'm sorry."  Lexa could see Clarke soften a little.  "Please say you forgive me.  I don't think I can get through the day knowing that you hate me."

"I don't hate you Lexa.  I'm just hurt that the last couple of days you either pretend I don't exist or treat me like shit.  Then you'll have these amazing moments where you just completely melt me.  We're a mess, aren't we."

"We will survive this."

"Maybe life should be about more than just surviving." Clarke needed to get away from Lexa.  She had the overwhelming need to ravish Lexa.  Clarke didn't wait for Lexa's response, she took a page out of Lexa's book and just walked away.

\--

Lexa had been going nonstop and had lost track of time.  It was almost 1700 hours (5pm) when Sgt. Jasper reminded her that they needed to do room inspections.  Her troops had been having a G.I. Party.  It actually wasn't a party at all.  It was just a misleading name for cleaning and waxing the hallway floors, shining any metal fixtures, and cleaning the laundry rooms on all three floors.  Lexa didn't miss performing the junior enlisted task.  Her soldiers had been released to their rooms to await their room inspections.  Most played Call of Duty or World of Warcraft while they waited but Clarke liked to draw.  Lexa had saved Clarke for last.  She would say she didn't but she would be lying.  As she drew closer to the quad door she could hear music emanating from the room.  Clarke answered her knock and Lexa was not prepared for the intensity of Clarke's eyes on her coupled with the soulful music coming from her room.  Lexa visibly swallowed and took a steadying breath as she walked past Clarke to enter into Clarke's domain.  It was as she expected, vibrant and clean.  There were pencil and charcoal drawings hung neatly on the wall.  Clarke had a canvas on an easel near the window.  Lexa didn't register the sound of doors closing behind her because she was so focused of the drawing of her on the canvas.  She could do nothing but stare at it.  

"It's from when you were at the club.  You had this shy look and my fingers ached to draw you."

Lexa turned around but hadn't expected Clarke to be a hair's breadth away.  Lexa wasn't sure how but Clarke moved closer as she hesitantly placed her hands on Lexa's chest.  Clarke could feel Lexa's racing heart beat pounding beneath her finger tips.  Lexa was afraid to move, afraid to break the connection.  Her breathing had became fast and shallow.  Clarke's hands moved up Lexa's body and caressed Lexa's exposed neck.  Lexa turned her face slightly into Clarke's when she felt Clarke's nose caress her cheek.  Clarke pulled her face slightly away as she moved her hands to the zipper of Lexa's uniform blouse.  Lexa watched as Clarke, with her eyes downcast and focused on slowly sliding the zipper down to reveal Lexa's undershirt, bit her own bottom lip and held it in place. Lexa's heart stopped when Clarke's dark, lust filled eyes looked up into hers and her hands slowly moved back to Lexa's chest.  Clarke moved her hands up and under the outer blouse, pushing it off of Lexa's shoulders and down her arms.  All the while their cheeks brushed each others ever so slowly and their lips ghosted over each others but never actually making full contact.  It was frustratingly delicious.  Lexa felt every wall she had built crumble under Clarke's touch.  Clarke's hand moved up Lexa's arm and rested on her cheek.  Clarke leaned in to press her lips to Lexa's waiting lips.  Clarke was afraid if she moved to fast that Lexa would stop them.  Lexa's skin under Clarke's fingers was like satin.  Clarke had never wanted someone so much in her life and from the way Lexa was looking at her and breathing Clarke could tell that Lexa wanted her just as badly.  

Lexa couldn't form a coherent thought.  Clarke's hands on her felt heavenly.  Lexa didn't want it to end, she craved everything that Clarke was giving her and things she had yet to give her.  When Lexa felt Clarke's hand on her cheek Lexa's hand instinctively went to Clarke's hips.  Lexa wanted nothing more than to make love to Clarke over and over.  It was the first time she had allowed herself to touch what was forbidden.   _Forbidden._  Lexa could feel Clarke's breath on her lips. Lexa needed to taste them more than she needed air.   _Forbidden._

 _"_ We can't."  Lexa said as she placed her hands along Clarke's jawline and rubbed her thumbs on her cheeks.  She saw and felt Clarke take a deep breath.  Her eyes had transformed in an instant.  Lexa's heart broke when she saw the hurt look flash on Clarke's gorgeous features. 

"Why not?"  Clarke's tone was anything but happy, she sounded almost desperate.

"You know why Clarke." Lexa kept reminding herself that that was what she needed to do.  She wasn't trying to hurt Clarke, she trying to protect her.

"No one has to know, Lexa.  We both want this!"  Clarke's heart was literally hurting and the butterflies had been replaced by nausea.  She felt like crying and screaming at anyone and everyone. 

"I'll know.  This, what's between us, isn't something I want to hide from the world.  It's something to be celebrated not camouflaged."  Lexa allowed herself to kiss Clarke's cheek.  Clarke leaned into the brief kiss and felt like crying when it disappeared.  Lexa retrieved her fallen blouse and put it back on as she walked out of the room.   

\--

Ravalicious: Hey is Clarke with you?

O-face: No, I'm with Lincoln. Why what's up.

Ravalicious:  I've been trying to get ahold of her but she isn't answering.  I'm gonna go to her room.

O-face:  ok...and also...I was right 

Ravalicious: Well, there's a first time for everything but I'll bite...about what.

O-face: 9 inches!

Ravalicious: You dirty tramp.  I'm so proud!  My wittle baby is gwowing up!

Ravalicious: Text you later, gonna check on Clarkey poo.

\--

Raven could hear the music blaring from Clarke's room.  She knew that Clarke wouldn't hear her knocking so she let herself in.  The sight that she was greeted with had Raven texting Octavia.  Clarke was sitting on the floor against her bed, her legs were bent and level with her chest, her arms resting over her knees and a bottle of Jack Daniel's held in her right hand.  The new bottle only had a 1/4th left in it.  Across from Clarke, on the floor, leaning against the wall was a magnificent drawing of Lexa.  Clarke was gazing at it and the emotions adorning her features were a mixture of hurt and love.  Clarke momentarily looked away from the drawing to look at her friend.  Clarke's eyes were unfocused and Raven could see the unshed tears welling up in her bloodshot eyes.  Clarke turned back to the drawing and slowly closed her eyes, leaving them shut for a moment as she slowly released a breath.  The unshed tears fell quickly down onto her shirt.  When she opened her eyes she brought the bottle back to her lips, drinking it as if she had just walked through the Sahara without water and had finally found an oasis.  Clarke pulled the bottle from her mouth and settled back into the same position she had been in when Raven had found her.  Clarke felt empty.  She didn't have any thoughts. She just existed, if this was surviving...it sucked.

Ravalicious: Get here now!!!!! She's listening to Otis Redding!!!! 

O-face: 2 questions.  Is it fast Otis or slow Otis?  Jack Daniel's or no Jack Daniel's?

Ravalicious: Slow Otis with Jack.

O-face: OH FUCK! I'm on my way! Don't do anything!

Raven put her phone in her pocked and sat down on the floor near the bedroom door and watched as her best friend took drink after drink, sinking lower and lower into the depths of despair.   _Please hurry, Octavia._


	5. Maintain Your Bearing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CQ is Charge of Quarters. It's a 24 hour shift that consists of a NCO (Non-commissioned Officer) and a junior enlisted sitting behind a desk watching movies and answering the company phone. It rotates through all of the soldiers within the company. They are there to track who leaves the barrack, who is at the barracks, and if an emergency happens. If a soldier lives in the barracks they have to sign out when they leave post and they have to sign in any visitor they have. All visitors have to be gone by midnight if it's a Friday or Saturday.
> 
> This chapter isn't as long as I would have liked but everything I have planned goes more with the next chapter. Which by the way will be the beginning of the dual chapters...you know what that means!!!! Let me know what you think! My wife is asleep so I don't have her to read this first and point out any mistakes so if there is I'm sorry. Hope you enjoy!

With every step Lexa felt a piece of her soul break.  Stopping Clarke had been the hardest thing she had every done.  Clarke's hands on her felt like she had finally found what she had been missing her entire life.  Clarke's hands, eyes, lips, her everything belonged on Lexa.  As Lexa stepped out of Clarke's quad she had to take a moment to compose herself.  The tears had welled up in her eyes and she had to look up and lightly bite her tongue to keep the tears from spilling over.  She felt an actual pain in her chest where her now destroyed heart pounded, letting her know that she was alive...just not living.  Lexa struggled to regain her composure.  She wanted nothing more than to walk back into that room and take what she craved but instead she swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and continued down the hall.  

Lexa was taking last steps from the second floor to the first floor when Costia opened the door to enter the stairwell.  She knew immediately that something was wrong and hurt for her friend.  She wanted to fix it for her but didn't know how to, so she just decided to not try and fix it but just be the friend that she knew Lexa needed.

"Hey, Lex. Are you okay?"  She asked pulling her out of the path of the stairs and into the free space of the stairwell.

"Yes.  I don't know. No. I can't fight these feelings anymore, Cos.  I don't want to fight it, I want to give in to her." Lexa paused as the full force of her feelings hit her.  "She's my addiction, my sweet addiction."

"Come over to my house."  Costia paused to let Lexa answer.  When Lexa didn't answer she continued, "we can drink little, talk a lottle, and watch Hocus Pocus or something."

"Two things. One, did you just say lottle? And two, you had me at Hocus Pocus."  Lexa's small smile was erased almost as fast as it had appeared.

"Well, isn't this sweet.  Be careful, SSG Woods.  I think you girl...I'm sorry, your _soldier_ my have the wrong idea about you and SSG Greene here.  I just bumped into her at the top of the stairs; she was eavesdropping on your conversation.  She looked like she was going to cry."  Cage looked absolutely pleased with himself and the situation.  Lexa hated him; in her eyes he was the vilest of people.  Cage exited the stairwell but was stopped by one of his soldiers.  He wasn't listening to the private, he was staring at Lexa hoping that she would fall into is trap and go after Clarke.  He momentarily held his breath as Lexa made a move to go up the stairs but was halted by Costia.   _Mind your own fucking business, bitch._   Costia may have foiled his plan this time but he was going to destroy Lexa one way or another.

"I have to go to her.  There is no telling what he said to her." Lexa said in a panicked voice as she stepped towards the stairs.

"Don't, Lexa.  This is what he wants.  I know it's hard but right now you need to think with your head, not your heart.  Ask her about it tomorrow.  Right now lets go drink and wash away the pain."  Costa's heart broke for her friend that had a defeated look in her eyes.  

\--

Clarke couldn't move.  She wanted to go after Lexa and make her see reason.  They both wanted each other, so much that Clarke was willing to give up everything just for one sweet taste of Lexa.  She stood there in the middle of her room, rooted to the floor, as her heart slowed to its normal rhythm.  Being that close, feeling Lexa beneath her fingers was the most alive she had ever felt.  Every nerve ending in her body tingled as though they were electrified.  She didn't want that feeling to end and she knew that only one person could make her feel that way.  Clarke made up her mind right then that she wasn't going to let Lexa walk away from what they could be.  Clarke walked out of her quad and hesitated because she wasn't sure in which direction Lexa had travelled.  She felt her heart pulling her in the direction of the stairwell and allowed her feet to follow.  She was halted by Lexa's voice that was soon followed by Costia's when she entered the stairwell. 

"I can't fight these feelings anymore, Cos. I don't want to fight it-" She heard Lexa say but didn't get to hear the rest as she was startled by a voice near her ear.

"Trouble in paradise?" SSG Wallace sneered. "They make a cute couple don't they?" He softly added as he descended the stairs.

Clarke tried to keep the tears from falling but what she heard next had them falling like rain.

"My sweet addiction."  Clarke couldn't deny the love she could hear in Lexa's statement.  Clarke's heart shattered in that moment.  

"Come over to my house."

Clarke had heard enough.  She needed Otis and Jack.

\--

Octavia came racing into the quad like a bat out of hell and Raven had never been so happy to see her friend.  Octavia watched as her friend finished the last of the Jack and threw it across the room into the wall and shattering.   _Fuck._

 _"_ She's has this song on repeat.  She hasn't said anything except to sing a few lyrics." 

"I can hear you.  I'm drunk, not deaf.  You want me to talk?"  Clarke slurred as she dropped her head to the side to look at her friends with unsteady eyes.  "How about this.  It's pure hell when you can't have the one you want.  She strung me along, making me think she felt the same way as I did.  The whole time she was with that...that...help me out, Raven."

"Cunt."

"Thank you.  She's with that cunt.  She stole my heart and played me for a fool. She gave me hope and that's the worst thing she could have done." Clarke closed her eyes and allowed a single tear to roll out of the corner of her eye and roll down her cheek. 

Octavia rushed to her friend's side and knelt by her, cupping Clarke's face in her hands, "Sweetie-" Octavia paused and pointed to the stereo when the song began to play again.

Raven rushed to the stereo and silenced it while mumbling, "Not _now_ , Otis!"  If it hadn't been a serious situation Octavia would have laughed at Raven.

Octavia focused her tender eyes back on Clarke, "Sweetie, we don't know what cunt you're talking about but we can see that Lexa loves you.  What happened?  Tell us and we will figure this out together."

Clarke swallowed and tried to keep from crying but the sight of her caring friends coupled with the hurt her heart felt caused the flood gates to open.  Octavia hugged her friend as Clarke buried her face into Octavia's shoulder and sobbed.  Raven came to sit next to them and rubbed her hand along Clarke's back to comfort her.

"It's going to be okay, Clarke.  Take this time to work on yourself and making points so you can get promoted.  Lexa will come around, I'm certain of it, but if she doesn't that's okay too.  You are a strong woman.  You're a brilliant woman and anybody would be lucky to call you theirs.  It's going to get better.  I know right now it doesn't seem like it but I promise it will."

"Exactly! I hear you, Octavia.  The best way to get over someone is to get under someone."

"You're not helping, Ravs.  That's not what I'm saying at all.  Listen, Clarke, if things work out, great, but if they don't at least you have us two assholes to pick you up when you fall."

Sometimes all a girl needed was a good cry and her friends. 

\--

It was finally Friday!  The rest of the week Raven and Octavia had spent all of their free time with Clarke, trying to lift up her spirits.  The tension between their friend and their team leader was palpable. They had kept their interactions curt and professional.  Normally, they would joke around a little bit but now it was strictly business.  Raven and Octavia had caught Lexa looking at Clarke with such a sorrowful look of longing that they knew Clarke had gotten something wrong.  There was no way that Lexa was in love with Costia and not Clarke.  Lexa's body may have been avoiding Clarke but her eyes were caressing every inch of Clarke. 

Clarke didn't want to hear about it though.  She wanted to forget about Lexa Woods.  The whole situation was confusing.  The way Lexa had been reacting to her and looking at her made Clarke think that Lexa was in love with her but how Lexa continuously pushed her away and then the conversation she overheard made her believe that Lexa was in love with Costia.  It was too much for Clarke and she just wanted a distraction.

"We should go out tonight." Clarke said to her friends as they ran their miles.  

The two friends looked at each other, not sure what to make of the sudden change in their friend.  The last couple of days she had only wanted to binge on Netfilx and eat pizza rolls. 

"Sounds good." Raven answered for them.

Up ahead Clarke could see Lexa running with Costia.  The last thing she wanted was to have to watch them in all of their happiness.  Clarke took all of her anger out on her run as she fully exerted herself and ran as fast as she could.  She didn't let the pain in her legs and lungs slow her down as she sped past Lexa and Costia.  She kept running hard, never slowing.  She could hear her friends behind her trying to keep up.  She pushed herself harder and harder.  Clarke wanted to feel something, anything other than the pain in her heart.  Her legs and lungs were on fire and it felt amazing.  When she had reached the end point, which was also the start point, Clarke felt weak and amazing.  Her friends were bent at the waist breathing more heavily than she had ever seen.

"What...the fuck...Clarke?  Why did you...run so fucking...fast?  You have Rav...dying over here."  Octavia said pointing at Raven who mirrored her stance.

"You're dying...just as much...as I am...so...fuck you."  

Clarke was pacing around with her arms resting on her head.  She could see Lexa and Costia finishing their miles and noticed that Lexa looked sad and Costia looked concerned.  Costia wasn't focused on Lexa, though.  She was looking, quite intently, at Clarke.  Clarke didn't know why and Clarke didn't care why.  Or at least that's what she told herself.

\--

Lexa hadn't gotten a chance to talk to Clarke.  Clarke would barely look at her.  Lexa's soul died a little bit every day she couldn't hold Clarke, talk to Clarke, love Clarke.  Clarke was so closed off to Lexa and she didn't know how to fix it.  She tried telling herself that that was the best thing for them then but she knew it was a lie.  Lexa had CQ duty that night and, according to Costia, it was the perfect time to straighten every thing out with Clarke.  Unfortunately, Lexa saw her opportunity to talk to Clarke go out the window when she, accompanied by Raven, Octavia, Lincoln, and Monty, approached the CQ desk to sign out.  Lexa tried to catch Clarke's eye but Clarke refused to look at her. 

Lexa didn't see Clarke again until around 2330 hours (1130pm) she wasn't alone and she wasn't with the friends she had left with.  Clarke and The Tramp, as Lexa had named her, walked towards the stairwell without looking at Lexa.

"Spc. Griffin!" Lexa stood abruptly, nearly knocking her chair backwards, and yelled through clenched teeth.  It was taking everything within her to not jump over her desk, rip The Tramp's lips off of Clarke's neck, and hit The Tramp right in her fucking mouth.  Lexa was seething.   _How dare that bitch touch Clarke.  My Clarke._ Lexa didn't know whether to cry or scream.Jealousy had reared its ugly head. _"_ Are you forgetting the rules, Spc. Griffin.  All visitors must be signed in and they _must_ be out of the barracks by midnight."  Lexa's couldn't get control of her breathing that had become fast and shallow.  Lexa's eyes were so intense that Clarke felt as if they were piercing her soul. 

"Roger, SSG." Clarke's nonchalant response made Lexa more furious.  Lexa watched as Clarke wrote down her guest's name,  _Echo Azgeda_.  

"Ha! That's kind of ironic."  Clarke said as she looked up from writing.  Her eyes leveled with Lexa's as she delivered a line that she hoped would piss Lexa off, "Her name is Echo and it will be echoing in my room when I scream it."  Clarke had never seen such anger in Lexa's eyes.  To be honest it was super intense and super scary.  Clarke realized she might have gone too far with that comment but Lexa hurt her and she wanted to hurt Lexa back.  A hurt heart causes a person to do things they normally wouldn't.  

Lexa didn't say anything more.  She knew that if she opened her mouth it would cause a shit storm so she sat back down in her chair and watched the giggling pair disappear up the stairs.  Lexa wanted to break something, preferably The Tramp's face.  Lexa couldn't sit still; she got up and began angrily pacing behind the CQ desk.  

Miller, who was also on CQ duty, didn't know what had just happened but the murderous look on Lexa's face made him not ask any questions.  He knew to seem as small as possible and not be noticed by the incensed woman. The crack in the desk suddenly became very interesting to him.   _Oh, look at this crack.  That is definitely a crack.  Please, don't notice me._ _  
_

_\--_

"She doesn't look pleased."  Echo said as Clarke rejoined her.

"She's not the one you need to please."  Clarke said with a wink.  Echo giggled at her comment and Clarke joined it.  She wanted Lexa to think she was happy without her.  In reality, she was miserable.  She had met Echo through Lincoln and they hit it off...she just wasn't Lexa.  Raven's comment about getting under someone echoed, no pun intended, in her head.  Echo seemed nice, she could hold Clarke's attention, and she was gorgeous.  After a few rounds of beer and dancing Clarke decided that she wanted to take Echo home.  She would have rather had Lexa but that wasn't a possibility.  Echo didn't expect anything other than the night and that's what Clarke needed.

Clarke unlocked her door and was pushed in by an impatient Echo.  Her lips and hands were instantly on Clarke.  Clarke walked backwards to her door pulling Echo with her by the lips.  Echo removed Clarke's shirt and Clarke followed, removing Echo's.  Clarke's daisy dukes and Echo's pants were the next items to go.  Echo laid Clarke on the bed and crawled over up her.  Echo's lips on Clarke felt amazing.  Echo slid her hand down Clarke's stomach and into the waistband of Clarke's lace panties.  When Echo's fingertips grazed Clarke's clit it caused her to buck her hips and moan out.

"Please, Lexa."  Clarke's eyes snapped open and Echo's movements stilled. 

"I get it, Clarke.  I'm not expecting anything from you after tonight but if you are going to be with me tonight then be with _me."_

 _"_ I'm sorry.  I thought I could do this but...I can't."  The rest of Clarke's response was cut off when her door flew open.

\--

As soon as the clock struck midnight Lexa was up and racing towards Clarke's room.  Clarke's visitor was the only guest signed in that had yet to leave.  When she reached Clarke's door she knocked but no one answered.  Lexa had so many emotions wreaking havoc on her that she didn't know which one to hold on to.  She used the CQ master key and let herself into the quad. The moans coming from Clarke's room made Lexa's heart stop.  She pushed down the lump that had formed in her throat and angrily wiped the tears from her eyes before she continued.  She paused at the Clarke's room door.  She could hear talking but couldn't make out what they were saying.  Jealousy propelled her forward as she threw the door open to reveal the two girls in just their underwear.  Echo was half on Clarke and Lexa's eyes instantly went to where Echo's hand was.  Both women looked shocked and speechless.

"Get out!" Lexa yelled at Echo but her eyes remained focused on Clarke's.  

Echo hurriedly threw on her clothes and rushed past Lexa.  Clarke looked livid but she didn't say anything as she stood from her position.  Clarke could see the muscles in Lexa's jaw clench and unclench.  Her eyes were ablaze and made Clarke's skin burn everywhere she trailed them on Clarke's body. 

Lexa wanted to hold on to her anger but with Clarke's beautiful body on display before her all she could do was feel pulled to Clarke.  She knew Clarke was hurt but she didn't understand why Clarke would bring someone else to her room when she knew how Lexa felt about her.  It hurt Lexa.  

Clarke didn't know what to do.  She knew what she wanted to do but didn't want to be rejected again. "Look-"  She didn't get to finish as Lexa crossed the room, tangled her hands in the hair at the nape of Clarke's neck, and brought her lips to Clarke's in a searing kiss that made Clarke see stars. Clarke's hands instantly went to Lexa's hips, pulling her in closer. The passion that Clarke felt made her at odds with her notion that Lexa and Costia were together.

Lexa didn't think, she just acted.  She needed to feel Clarke, she needed to taste her.  She poured every ounce of her passion into that kiss.  Lexa could feel Clarke's tongue plead for entrance and Lexa granted it.  Their tongues and lips joined together in the most delicious way.  Lexa didn't think she could quit but knew she had to.  She pulled back slightly and rested her forehead against Clarke's.  Clarke's eyes were still closed and she could still feel her on her lips.  

"Is this what you wanted?  To completely destroy me?  Mission accomplished."  

 

 TBC...


	6. Lock It Up (With G!P)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This version is with the G!P if that is something you are not into go to the next chapter. It's the same except Lexa doesn't have a G!P.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People with both parts are not allowed to serve in the military so for this fic lets just pretend that it is allowed and that any individual with both parts would be placed in a basic training unit with the gender they identified as. 
> 
> I'm sorry for the delay. I had a bit of writers block and then my a/c went out in my house and I live in Phoenix and it is hell hot, so...enough complaining from me. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> The 3 lesbian jokes told in this chapter are not mine. My stupid brother found them on some joke website and sent them to me a few years ago.

Lexa gripped tighter to the back of Clarke’s head and brought their lips together one more time. Feeling Clarke’s body flush with hers almost made her lose all self-control.  Lexa didn’t dare put her hands on Clarke’s body.  She knew she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from taking Clarke on every surface of that room. It was the most delectable torture. It was too brief for both of them.  Lexa held Clarke’s eyes for a moment before dropping her hands to her side and turning to walk out Clarke’s room.

“No! Don’t you dare walk away from me again! You don’t get to burst in here, kiss me like that and then just walk away!  I don’t understand you, Lexa!”  Clarke’s voice was very close to yelling. 

Lexa stopped in her tracks and slowly turned around, “Is that what you truly think?  That I’m walking away from you?  I’m trying to _protect_ you.  We could both get into a lot of trouble and-“ Lexa paused when her voice broke at the threat of tears, “and you know as well I do that the powers that be have the power to send you or me across the world away from each other. I don’t think my heart could handle it if they took you away from me.  I would rather have you in this capacity than not at all. I’m not walking away from you but I am on duty and if I don’t get back Miller will come looking for me here.  If command finds out that I am in here kissing you, they will separate us. Just give me time to figure out how we can be together.”  Lexa walked back to Clarke and cupped her face in her hands, her thumbs rubbing along Clarke’s cheeks wiping away the tears that had fallen from Clarke’s eyes. “I’m not trying to hurt you, it’s the last thing I would ever want to do. You have to believe me. You’re all I think about, you’re all I want.  I _need_ you.”  Lexa closed her eyes as she fought the emotion that was boiling over.

Clarke brought their lips together in a kiss that left them both breathless and craving more. 

“I have to go.  Will I see you at my house tomorrow for the squad party?  We can talk more then if you want.”  When Clarke nodded yes, Lexa brought her lips to Clarke’s forehead, leaving them there for a moment, and then turned and walked out of the room.

Clarke was so confused.  She couldn’t reconcile the Lexa that had just taken her breath away and the Lexa she thought was in a relationship with Costia.  She had wanted to ask Lexa about Costia but after that kiss she had a problem with remembering her own name.

\--

Lexa spent the rest of her shift thinking about a half naked Clarke and the feel of her lips, which made her extremely aroused.  Lexa had felt murderous when she saw where Echo's hand had been.  Lexa had no right to be angry, considering they weren't in a relationship, and not for a lack of trying on Clarke's part.  

It was 0900 hours (9am) when Costia arrived to relieve Lexa from her shift she could tell that something was different.  It didn't take much prying for Lexa to tell Costia what she had suspected.  Friend Costia was a little pissed off at Clarke for her stunt but happy for Lexa that things were progressing a little.  SSG Greene was worried for her fellow SSG.  She was torn between being excited for Lexa and cautioning Lexa.  She decided on a balance of both.  

Lexa seemed to have a little of a pep in her step as she left the Company building to drive home.  She was excited and nervous to talk to Clarke.  They hadn't really had the opportunity to talk but Lexa hoped that the night would be different.  She had invited her whole squad to her house to celebrate Memorial Day, team building time if the higher ups asked.  Lexa was hoping to get a few hours of sleep before the party but she doubted sleep would come; her body and mind were too charged.  Lexa wanted to text Clarke and tell her good morning but her phone had died.  She didn't worry because she would be seeing Clarke later that day...in her house.  As Lexa drove off post she couldn't stop smiling.   _Today is going to be a good day._

_\--_

Clarke had tried to get some sleep but to no avail.  She brought herself to orgasm while calling out Lexa's name and even in her post orgasm exhaustion sleep still eluded her.  She couldn't turn her mind off.  It was constantly replaying their kiss, their most perfect kiss.  It was the kind that you remember for the rest of your life and compare all others to.  

Clarke wasn't sure what time she fell asleep but when she woke it was close to noon.  Her dreams had been extremely erotic in nature and had Clarke's body begging for release.  She yearned to touch Lexa and to be touched by Lexa.  The kiss was just enough to make it maddening.

Clarke couldn't stop thinking about Lexa.  She wanted to call her but she chickened out and settled for a text... _a lame excuse for a text._

Griffin: Hey! Um, what time should we start coming over...Octavia was wanting to know.

Clarke didn't need a response, she already knew what time the festivities started.  When no response came Clarke felt a little defeated.  She hoped that Lexa just hadn't seen it or was either asleep.  Pushing the doubting thoughts to the back of her mind, she jumped in the shower.   _Might as well start getting ready._

Lexa still hadn't texted Clarke and she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.  Thoughts of doubt began to flood her mind.   _Maybe she's with SSG Greene.  Maybe she's regrets kissing me.  What if she thinks I'm a bad kisser...no that's definitely not it._

Her private musings were halted by a knock on her quad door.  She could hear her two friends on the other side bickering, as they often did, about something.  Clarke joined her friends in the hallways as they walked to sign out.  

"I'm telling you, O.  We could survive on a space station for years with the right equipment."

"I'm going to have to cont _RAVEN_ e that statement."

"I see what you did there...but is that a legit word?  Judges?" Raven asked while looking at Clarke.

"Let me consult a higher power on that one."  Clarke pulled out her iPhone, "Google says...yes, yes we will accept that as a legit word used in the correct context."

"You guys know how to fuck up a good one.  I worked really hard on that."

"How long have you waited to use that word."  Clarke asked through her light laughter.

"At least like two weeks."

Clarke's smile faltered when she noticed who was sitting behind the CQ desk.  Costia had a brilliant smile adorning her face and was texting someone.  Clarke assumed it was Lexa, which made Clarke's hurt.   _Why does she text her and not me?  I'm the one she was kissing last night._

The more Clarke thought about it the more it made her angry.  In reality Clarke had no idea who she was texting.  

"You ladies headed to SSG Woods house?"

Raven and Octavia answered, "yes."

Clarke kept her head down and continued to write their names in the log book.  Costia was tired of the girls attitude.  She liked Clarke but the way she had been acting had Costia rethinking her originally impression of the young soldier.

"Hey, Griffin.  I need to talk to you." Costia looked to her two friends, "Can you ladies wait a few minutes."  To which the two nodded yes with suspicious eyes. 

Clarke was not expecting that.  She didn't want to talk to Costia.  Actually, she wanted nothing to do with Costia and had it not been for the fact that Costia was higher ranking than Clarke she would have told her to go fuck herself.  Clarke followed her into Costia's squad room and took a seat as Costia closed the door and then made her way to her chair behind the desk.  Costia sat down and eyed Clarke for a moment before removing the rank patch that was prominent on her chest.  

"There is no rank in here right now.  We are going to have a little chat about a few things and I want you to speak freely without the worry of repercussions."  Costia paused as she watched the neutral expression that had been on Clarke's face turn to one of disdain. "You don't like me, do you?  Why?"

Clarke hadn't really thought about it.  Clarke knew that it was because Costia was with Lexa but that wasn't Costia's fault.  Costia didn't know about Clarke's feelings for her team leader.  Clarke had never stopped to consider that.  Clarke didn't know what to say.  She wasn't sure if Costia knew about the mutual feelings between her and Lexa and Clarke didn't want to cause any trouble for either of them.  So Clarke stayed silent.

"Well, how about I tell you what I think."  Costia continued before waiting for Clarke's answer, "If I had to guess I would say that you are acting like a spoiled brat that's pitching a tantrum because they can't get what they want-"

"Excuse me.  You don't even know me."

"I know enough, Clarke.  Lexa and I are best friends-"

"Best friends?  Raven and Octavia are my best friends and you don't see me fucking them or professing my love for them in stairwells."  Clarke realized she had gone too far but she was furious and couldn't stop her mouth.

Costia was confused to say the least.  Then the situation dawned on her.   _She thinks Lexa and I are sleeping together._ "Look, Clarke, you've got this all wrong.  We aren't sleeping together, never have.  As far as professions of love...she was talking about you.  I should probably leave this up to her to say but I fear that if I let you leave here thinking what you are thinking then you guys will never get out of your own way to be together.  She's in love with you, not me.  For a smart girl you can be fucking stupid."

Clarke's mind was going a million miles per hour, "She kept telling me all of these amazingly sweet things and then I heard her talking to you in the stairwell and then SSG Wallace said you guys were a cute couple and then I would constantly see you guys leave together...I just...what else was I supposed to think?"  She asked as she looked up into Costia's eyes.

"Did you bother talking to Lexa about any of that?  Or did you just let your mind surmise and then wallow in your misery?  Communication is the key to any relationship, you should know that by now.  You aren't in high school anymore.  We don't run on gossip and guessing anymore.  You're an adult, you need to start having adult relationships.  Don't even get me started on that little stunt you pulled last night-"

"Lexa told you about that?" Clarke groaned as she put her face in her hands.

"Of course she did, we are _best_ friends.  It hurt her, Clarke.  Lexa doesn't show emotion a lot but don't believe for one second that she doesn't hurt and bleed like the rest of us.  If I didn't think you would be great for her I'd smoke the living shit out of you for what you did to her.  Prove me right, Clarke.  Prove that you deserve her.  She is risking a lot.  You both have a lot to lose if your relationship is discovered but she has way more.  She is the higher ranking and will be held to a high standard than you.  The ramifications will extend beyond her military career if she is found to have a relationship with you that is deemed inappropriate.  I don't think you truly realize the magnitude of the situation.  She's willing to give everything up for you, are you willing to do the same?"  Clarke didn't answer but Costia could see the answer in her eyes; she would.

Clarke walked back down the hall to her waiting friends.  She felt like a total ass hole.  Costia was right, she had been acting like a bitch.  Clarke felt ashamed and vowed to make things right.

"You guys ready?"

"In a sec.  We need a judge for who has the better joke."  Raven took her challenges serious.

"Ugh, seriously.  We have to go."  When her two friends didn't budge she decided that it would be quicker to go with it than to fight it, "Fine! Hurry, I'm hungry."

"I bet you are." Raven seductively stated while wiggling her eyebrows.

Clarke was not amused, "is that your joke?"

"No.  Tris you go first.  Age before beauty."

"You're so sweet, douche.  Okay.  What do fifty state workers and fifty lesbians have in common?"

"I don't know. What?"

"A hundred people that don't do dick."

"Okay, that was slightly amusing.  Next, Raven."

"What do you call the cabinet that a lesbian keeps her alcohol in?"

"Um...I don't know. What?"

"A liquor box."

"Ah like lick her but liquor.  Nice play on words.  Octavia?"

"Why can't a lesbian wear makeup and diet at the same time?"

"This joke is already lame, it has the word diet in it."

"Shut up, Raven!  I don't know, O.  Why?"

"Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face."

"Sorry Tris and sorry...Raven.  Octavia is the winner."

"No fucking way! Mine was way better!"  Raven protested.

"You wish, Raven.  Mine was by far the best." Tris argued.

"Why did you guys make me the judge if you aren't going to agree with my judgement?"

Costia walked back to the CQ desk and was not in the mood to hear their arguing, "Ladies, I do believe you have somewhere else to be.  Unless, you want to be put to work.  I have a lot of things that need to be done-"

"We were just leaving."  Octavia said while pulling her friends with her.

"Good." Costia couldn't help but be amused by the trio, "Oh, and Octavia's joke was the best."  How could they argue with a SSG.

\--

Lexa had woken up later than she had wanted and had spent the rest of the time furiously running around trying to get everything ready for the party.  She had just finished getting ready when her first guests arrived.  For once she enjoyed everyone in her squad.  Normally, there was at least one idiot that she had to pretend to tolerate.  She still couldn't help feeling a little disappointed when she realized it wasn't Clarke knocking on her door.  

The party was in full swing by the time Clarke, Raven, and Octavia arrived.  They hadn't expected so many people to be at Lexa's but it seemed as though everyone in the squad had brought a few people with them.  Holidays were always hard when away from family, which is one of the reasons Lexa threw the party.  The other was to get Clarke to her house.  Lexa was grilling and babysitting a beer when she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand.  She felt Clarke before she saw her.  It was as if their bodies were linked in some spiritual way.  Clarke looked damn sexy in a pink tank and short jean shorts.  Lexa subconsciously liked her lips at the sight of Clarke's smooth legs and ample cleavage.  She knew it was going to be hard to not stare all night.  

Clarke was nervous walking into Lexa's house.  When she entered she was hit with the smell that was Lexa.  It made her feel at home.  Lexa's house wasn't big but it was nice and the way Lexa had arranged the rooms made it seem larger than it was.  It felt like she belonged there.  Clarke followed Raven and Octavia to the back yard.  It was spacious and had a deck attached to the house.  There were people all over the place.  Some were playing volleyball, others were playing beer pong, and the rest were just drinking and talking.  Clarke's eyes were instantly drawn to Lexa.  Clarke was slammed with a wave of arousal when her eyes met Lexa's.  Clarke could feel everywhere Lexa's eyes travelled.  Clarke felt warm and ready.  

"Here, you look like you need a drink to cool you down."  Octavia said as she placed a cold beer in Clarke's hand.

"Yeah, thanks."  There was no use in denying it.

"That's what I'm here for.  I'm going to go join the volleyball game, wanna come?"

"No I think I'm going to...do something.  I can't really think right now.  Don't look at me like that.  Go play."

Raven had already deserted them and joined the beer pong crowd.  Clarke knew that is where she would be the rest of the night.  Clarke wanted to go talk to Lexa but she was flanked by Fox and Jasper.  Not exactly the people she wanted around when she was talking to Lexa.  So Clarke decided to join the volleyball game after all.

Lexa couldn't take her eyes off of Clarke.  She had no idea what Jasper and Fox were talking about.  She'd sometimes throw in a "yeah" or a "mhmm".  She could have been agreeing to give up her first born to Satan for all she knew.  At that time nothing else mattered except Clarke and the sexy look of determination on her face.  

"Hey, Lex.  It's one thing to not pay attention to us but if you're going to cook you may want to pay attention to the grill.  I'm just saying...because you're about to burn the burgers."

Jasper was right.  At least he didn't know who had all of her attention.  

"Food is ready!"  Fox yell was quickly followed by a stampede.  Food and alcohol is the best way to get soldiers moving fast.  

Clarke wanted to sit with Lexa but Lexa wouldn't sit down.  She was constantly moving and checking on people, being the gracious host.  They had all had their fill of food and alcohol when it began to rain drawing the party to a close.  They had all stayed to help clean up.  Clarke was walking back onto the deck when a drunk Monty slipped while carrying discarded half drank cups of beer.  Clarke tried to dodge the liquid that had taken flight but to no avail, she was drenched.  

"Seriously, Monty?"

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Clarke."  He slurred through his repressed laugh.

Clarke couldn't be mad at him he was so cute and soon they were both laughing.  Clarke turned and walked back into the house to ask if she could have something to dry off with.  She was first met by her two friends that thought that Clarke being covered in lukewarm beer was the most hilarious thing.  Luckily, she was saved by Lexa because her friends were no help.

"You can rinse off in the shower and I'll get you something to wear.  If you try to drive and get pulled over they will never believe you haven't drank anything."  Lexa blushed at the thought of Clarke in her shower and in her clothes.  From the blush on Clarke's face Lexa could tell she was thinking the same thing.  

Clarke followed Lexa through the hallway to the bathroom.  Even though Clarke hadn't drank any alcohol she felt intoxicated at the closeness of Lexa.  Lexa retuned from her room with a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt.  The were standing so close to each other.  All Lexa wanted to do was drag Clarke to her room and make her come over and over again.  She could see Clarke look at her lips while licking her own and knew Clarke was thinking something similar.  The air around them was charged with sexual tension.  

"You...ahem...you should probably...I should go check on the...thing."  And with that Lexa hurried down the hallway back to the group.  Lexa's skin was burning and her fingers were itching to trace every inch of Clarke.  It was almost unbearable.

\--

Clarke loved the thought of being in Lexa's shower.  She took her time smelling all of the shampoos and soaps.  They smelled like Lexa and Clarke couldn't help but inhale deeply.  It caused a physical reaction in Clarke and she knew she had it bad if a shampoo that smelled like Lexa was getting making her wet.  Clarke finished showering and dressed in the provided clothes.  They were soft and also smelled like Lexa.  Clarke was wrapped in all things Lexa and she loved it.  As Clarke walked down the hall she noticed a lack of noise.  When she entered the living area she noticed a lack of people.

"Where did everyone go?'

"They left already.  Reyes and Blake said, and I quote, 'tell that slut we were tired of waiting on her.'  They caught a ride with Lincoln.  Is something going on between Lincoln and Blake.  Never mind I don't really want to know."  Lexa was feeling awkward all of the sudden.  She had never expected to be alone in her house with Clarke and now that she was she couldn't think of anything to say and didn't know what to do.

Clarke wanted to apologize for the way she had been acting but she didn't know how to start the conversation.  She was nervous, not like the normally confident person she was.  

"Well, I should probably go before it starts raining even harder.  Thanks for the clothes."  Clarke didn't want to leave.

"Oh, um, yeah.  You probably should.  And don't mention the clothes.  Text me when you get back to the barracks so I know you made it safely."  Lexa didn't want Clarke to leave.  Her heart was telling her to say something, anything to make her stay.  Her brain wasn't cooperating. 

Lexa walked Clarke to the door and the house was filled with the sound of the falling rain hitting the pavement.  Clarke stepped out onto the porch and turned to Lexa.

"Thanks for inviting us over.  I had fun."   _No that's not what you want to say.  Stop being a pussy._

"Thanks for coming.  It-"

"That's not what I wanted to say.  What I wanted to say is that I am sorry for everything.  I acted like a child and you didn't deserve to be treated that way.  I talked to Costia today and she set me straight on a few things that I had misunderstood.  I was wrong and I'm sorry.  That's what I wanted to say and I've said it so I'm going to go."  The words rushed out of Clarke's mouth and before Lexa could respond Clarke was running through the rain to her car.  She had almost reached it when she heard Lexa call out to her.  Clarke halted abruptly and turned around to look at Lexa.  Lexa was walking towards Clarke.  She seemed unfazed by the rain that seemed to have started falling harder.

"Stay."  With one word Lexa had crumbled every wall that Clarke had placed around her heart.  She ran towards Lexa and pressed her lips to Lexa's as her arms wrapped around Lexa's shoulders.  Lexa couldn't fight her love for Clarke anymore.  So she gave in to every emotion that Clarke elicited in her.  Lexa lifted Clarke up and carried her into her house while Clarke attacked her neck with fervor.   Once inside the house Lexa sat Clarke down and kicked the door shut.  Clarke's hands were all over Lexa, stripping her of her wet clothes.  Lexa's hand stilled Clarke's movements before she could move any further south.

"What's wrong?"  Clarke pouted at being stopped.

"I want you, Clarke, but before we go any further you need to know something.  I'm not like most girls you have been with.  I hope this isn't a deal breaker because I don't know how I will be able to take that but..."  Lexa let out a deep breath and continued, "I was born with both male and female parts."  Lexa looked in Clarke's eyes hoping that she would be able to judge her reaction.

"Can I see?"  Clarke was intrigued and surprised by Lexa's admission.  It was cute how nervous Lexa looked but it was sad how scared she looked.  Clarke had fell in love with Lexa not her anatomy.  Although, the more she got to look at Lexa's anatomy she was definitely falling in love with that too.

Lexa moved to pull her boxer briefs down but was stopped by Clarke's hands on hers, "Let me."  Clarke dropped to her knees and slowly slid the briefs down.  Lexa was a good size and it was perfect.  Clarke had never been one to put a cock in her mouth but she wanted to taste Lexa.

Lexa twitched as Clarke began stroking her hard cock.  Her eyes snapped shut and her head fell back when she felt Clarke's mouth around her throbbing appendage.   She had never experienced something so incredible.  Lexa's hands went to Clarke's hair.  Clarke's moans were vibrating around Lexa and the sensation was almost too much to bear.  Clarke pulled back and looked up at Lexa through half lidded eyes.

"This is going to be amazing."

Lexa reached down and pulled Clarke to her, leading her down the hall to her room.  She had the overwhelming need to be inside Clarke.  Lexa moved Clarke to her bed.  Clarke scooted backwards on the bed as Lexa stood at the end watching her with a hunger that devoured her.  Lexa crawled up the bed, her eyes never leaving Clarke's.  Lexa's hands slid up Clarke's legs and stopped at her hips.  Her fingers hooked the thong that was guarding what was hers.  Lexa pulled the offending garment off and lowered her mouth to Clarke's inner thighs.

Clarke's breathing was ragged.  The anticipation was building within her and she felt as though she was going to come at the slightest touch from Lexa.  Clarke was torn between wanting to touch Lexa and being touched by Lexa.  Every thought was erased when Lexa's tongue travelled up her slit to her clit.  Clarke's body jumped at the sensation of Lexa warm mouth lapping in her warmth.  

Lexa had never tasted something so sweet.  It was as if Lexa had finally found the thing her body and soul hadn't known it was craving.  She knew she could no longer live without what she was feasting upon.  Lexa could have stayed where she was for the rest of her life and died a happy woman.  Clarke's moans were getting louder and encouraged Lexa.  

Clarke found religion when Lexa added a finger and then another and began to pump in and out.  Clarke called out to god over an over again.  Lexa's fingers mixed with Lexa's mouth had Clarke bucking her hips and riding Lexa's face.  

"Oh my god, Lexa! I'm going to come if you keep doing that."  Clarke moaned.  Every thrust pushed her closer to the edge, "Fuck, Lex, I'm-"  The orgasm sent waves and waves of pleasure coursing through her body.  Her hand were on Lexa's head pushing her further into her while she rode out the best orgasm of her life.

Now that Lexa had experienced an orgasming Clarke she could never go back.  Lexa gently removed her fingers and licked them clean.  Clarke was still shaking from the after shocks as she pulled Lexa up to her.  Clarke could taste herself on Lexa which made Clarke ready for more.  

"I want to feel you inside of me."  Clarke said looking up into the woman that had braced herself above Clarke.

"Are you sure."  Lexa hoped she was sure.

"I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

Clarke raised her legs as Lexa reached between their bodies and gripped her cock leading it to Clarke's dripping entrance.  The warmth that surrounded Lexa as she slid in almost made her come.  She was so ready but she wanted to take her time and enjoy feeling what had been denied her for too long.  Both Lexa and Clarke moaned.  

"Clarke, look at me."  Lexa demanded when Clarke closed her eyes.  Clarke opened her eyes and Lexa could swear she had never seen the blue depths look nearly black until that moment.  Lexa began thrusting into Clarke.  Her pace was slow at first, allowing Clarke to get used to the size.  Lexa was having a hard time with keeping her pace slow and steady.  She wanted to feel everything that Clarke could give her.  Clarke was ready to give everything.  

"Fuck me, Lexa." Lexa couldn't hold back anymore.  She began thrusting deeper and faster.  The liquid heat that was surrounding Lexa made her crazy with want.  Clarke had never had someone fuck her so good that it made her toes curl until Lexa.  Lexa's breasts were swaying with every motion and Clarke could no longer deny them.  Lexa's hips jerked hard when Clarke's mouth latched onto Lexa's nipple.  Lexa gripped the sheets tighter as she felt her own orgasm building within her.  

"You are mine, Lexa.  You belong in me and to me." Clarke said as she pulled back from her ravishing of Lexa's boobs.

"And you are mine, Clarke.  Only. Mine."  Lexa's slow, deep thrusts accentuated her words.

"Only yours."  Clarke was close again.  She was torn between holding onto the sensation and giving in to it.  

Lexa's orgasm had built to the point of explosion.  She could no longer hold it in.

"Fuck, Clarke.  I'm going to come."

"Do it, baby.  I want to feel everything."  Lexa didn't need to anything more.  

Clarke gripped Lexa's ass and pulled her deeper into her.  Lexa's hips jerked forward as the explosion rippled through every nerve contained in Lexa's body.  Clarke's second orgasm of the night hit her when Lexa's erratic movements hit her g-spot.  Lexa collapsed onto Clarke.  She could hear Clarke's heart beat pounding in her chest and could feel her own matching it.  She was spent and the happiest she had ever been.  Clarke couldn't stop touching Lexa.  Her feather light touches were heaven to Lexa.  

Lexa slowly removed herself from Clarke and laid on her side next to Clarke.  Clarke had her eyes closed and a content smile on her face.

"That was...just wow.  Shame on you for making me wait for that."  Clarke teased as she turned to look at Lexa.

"I agree.  What was I thinking?  Never again will I deny you.  I don't think I could even if I wanted to."  Lexa's features turned serious as she reached out to trace Clarke's face, "I'm in love with you."

Clarke turned to her side and drew closer to Lexa, "I am so in love with you too, Lexa Woods."

TBC...

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Lock It Up (Without G!P)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. This chapter is the same as the previous except Lexa doesn't have penis. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> The 3 lesbian jokes told in this chapter are not mine. My stupid brother found them on some joke website and sent them to me a few years ago.

exa gripped tighter to the back of Clarke’s head and brought their lips together one more time. Feeling Clarke’s body flush with hers almost made her lose all self-control.  Lexa didn’t dare put her hands on Clarke’s body.  She knew she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from taking Clarke on every surface of that room. It was the most delectable torture. It was too brief for both of them.  Lexa held Clarke’s eyes for a moment before dropping her hands to her side and turning to walk out Clarke’s room.

“No! Don’t you dare walk away from me again! You don’t get to burst in here, kiss me like that and then just walk away!  I don’t understand you, Lexa!”  Clarke’s voice was very close to yelling. 

Lexa stopped in her tracks and slowly turned around, “Is that what you truly think?  That I’m walking away from you?  I’m trying to protect you.  We could both get into a lot of trouble and-“ Lexa paused when her voice broke at the threat of tears, “and you know as well I do that the powers that be have the power to send you or me across the world away from each other. I don’t think my heart could handle it if they took you away from me.  I would rather have you in this capacity than not at all. I’m not walking away from you but I am on duty and if I don’t get back Miller will come looking for me here.  If command finds out that I am in here kissing you, they will separate us. Just give me time to figure out how we can be together.”  Lexa walked back to Clarke and cupped her face in her hands, her thumbs rubbing along Clarke’s cheeks wiping away the tears that had fallen from Clarke’s eyes. “I’m not trying to hurt you, it’s the last thing I would ever want to do. You have to believe me. You’re all I think about, you’re all I want.  I need you.”  Lexa closed her eyes as she fought the emotion that was boiling over.

Clarke brought their lips together in a kiss that left them both breathless and craving more. 

“I have to go.  Will I see you at my house tomorrow for the squad party?  We can talk more then if you want.”  When Clarke nodded yes, Lexa brought her lips to Clarke’s forehead, leaving them there for a moment, and then turned and walked out of the room.

Clarke was so confused.  She couldn’t reconcile the Lexa that had just taken her breath away and the Lexa she thought was in a relationship with Costia.  She had wanted to ask Lexa about Costia but after that kiss she had a problem with remembering her own name.

\--

Lexa spent the rest of her shift thinking about a half naked Clarke and the feel of her lips, which made her extremely aroused.  Lexa had felt murderous when she saw where Echo's hand had been.  Lexa had no right to be angry, considering they weren't in a relationship, and not for a lack of trying on Clarke's part.  

It was 0900 hours (9am) when Costia arrived to relieve Lexa from her shift she could tell that something was different.  It didn't take much prying for Lexa to tell Costia what she had suspected.  Friend Costia was a little pissed off at Clarke for her stunt but happy for Lexa that things were progressing a little.  SSG Greene was worried for her fellow SSG.  She was torn between being excited for Lexa and cautioning Lexa.  She decided on a balance of both.  

Lexa seemed to have a little of a pep in her step as she left the Company building to drive home.  She was excited and nervous to talk to Clarke.  They hadn't really had the opportunity to talk but Lexa hoped that the night would be different.  She had invited her whole squad to her house to celebrate Memorial Day, team building time if the higher ups asked.  Lexa was hoping to get a few hours of sleep before the party but she doubted sleep would come; her body and mind were too charged.  Lexa wanted to text Clarke and tell her good morning but her phone had died.  She didn't worry because she would be seeing Clarke later that day...in her house.  As Lexa drove off post she couldn't stop smiling.  Today is going to be a good day. 

\--

Clarke had tried to get some sleep but to no avail.  She brought herself to orgasm while calling out Lexa's name and even in her post orgasm exhaustion sleep still eluded her.  She couldn't turn her mind off.  It was constantly replaying their kiss, their most perfect kiss.  It was the kind that you remember for the rest of your life and compare all others to.  

Clarke wasn't sure what time she fell asleep but when she woke it was close to noon.  Her dreams had been extremely erotic in nature and had Clarke's body begging for release.  She yearned to touch Lexa and to be touched by Lexa.  The kiss was just enough to make it maddening.

Clarke couldn't stop thinking about Lexa.  She wanted to call her but she chickened out and settled for a text...a lame excuse for a text.

Griffin: Hey! Um, what time should we start coming over...Octavia was wanting to know.

Clarke didn't need a response, she already knew what time the festivities started.  When no response came Clarke felt a little defeated.  She hoped that Lexa just hadn't seen it or was either asleep.  Pushing the doubting thoughts to the back of her mind, she jumped in the shower.  Might as well start getting ready.

Lexa still hadn't texted Clarke and she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.  Thoughts of doubt began to flood her mind.  Maybe she's with SSG Greene.  Maybe she's regrets kissing me.  What if she thinks I'm a bad kisser...no that's definitely not it.

Her private musings were halted by a knock on her quad door.  She could hear her two friends on the other side bickering, as they often did, about something.  Clarke joined her friends in the hallways as they walked to sign out.  

"I'm telling you, O.  We could survive on a space station for years with the right equipment."

"I'm going to have to contRAVENe that statement."

"I see what you did there...but is that a legit word?  Judges?" Raven asked while looking at Clarke.

"Let me consult a higher power on that one."  Clarke pulled out her iPhone, "Google says...yes, yes we will accept that as a legit word used in the correct context."

"You guys know how to fuck up a good one.  I worked really hard on that."

"How long have you waited to use that word."  Clarke asked through her light laughter.

"At least like two weeks."

Clarke's smile faltered when she noticed who was sitting behind the CQ desk.  Costia had a brilliant smile adorning her face and was texting someone.  Clarke assumed it was Lexa, which made Clarke's hurt.  Why does she text her and not me?  I'm the one she was kissing last night.

The more Clarke thought about it the more it made her angry.  In reality Clarke had no idea who she was texting.  

"You ladies headed to SSG Woods house?"

Raven and Octavia answered, "yes."

Clarke kept her head down and continued to write their names in the log book.  Costia was tired of the girls attitude.  She liked Clarke but the way she had been acting had Costia rethinking her originally impression of the young soldier.

"Hey, Griffin.  I need to talk to you." Costia looked to her two friends, "Can you ladies wait a few minutes."  To which the two nodded yes with suspicious eyes. 

Clarke was not expecting that.  She didn't want to talk to Costia.  Actually, she wanted nothing to do with Costia and had it not been for the fact that Costia was higher ranking than Clarke she would have told her to go fuck herself.  Clarke followed her into Costia's squad room and took a seat as Costia closed the door and then made her way to her chair behind the desk.  Costia sat down and eyed Clarke for a moment before removing the rack patch that was prominent on her chest.  

"There is no rank in here right now.  We are going to have a little chat about a few things and I want you to speak freely without the worry of repercussions."  Costia paused as she watched the neutral expression that had been on Clarke's face turn to one of disdain. "You don't like me, do you?  Why?"

Clarke hadn't really thought about it.  Clarke knew that it was because Costia was with Lexa but that wasn't Costia's fault.  Costia didn't know about Clarke's feelings for her team leader.  Clarke had never stopped to consider that.  Clarke didn't know what to say.  She wasn't sure if Costia knew about the mutual feelings between her and Lexa and Clarke didn't want to cause any trouble for either of them.  So Clarke stayed silent.

"Well, how about I tell you what I think."  Costia continued before waiting for Clarke's answer, "If I had to guess I would say that you are acting like a spoiled brat that's pitching a tantrum because they can't get what they want-"

"Excuse me.  You don't even know me."

"I know enough, Clarke.  Lexa and I are best friends-"

"Best friends?  Raven and Octavia are my best friends and you don't see me fucking them or professing my love for them in stairwells."  Clarke realized she had gone too far but she was furious and couldn't stop her mouth.

Costia was confused to say the least.  Then the situation dawned on her.  She thinks Lexa and I are sleeping together.  "Look, Clarke, you've got this all wrong.  We aren't sleeping together, never have.  As far as professions of love...she was talking about you.  I should probably leave this up to her to say but I fear that if I let you leave here thinking what you are thinking then you guys will never get out of your own way to be together.  She's in love with you, not me.  For a smart girl you can be fucking stupid."

Clarke's mind was going a million miles per hour, "She kept telling me all of these amazingly sweet things and then I heard her talking to you in the stairwell and then SSG Wallace said you guys were a cute couple and then I would constantly see you guys leave together...I just...what else was I supposed to think?"  She asked as she looked up into Costia's eyes.

"Did you bother talking to Lexa about any of that?  Or did you just let your mind surmise and then wallow in your misery?  Communication is the key to any relationship, you should know that by now.  You aren't in high school anymore.  We don't run on gossip and guessing anymore.  You're an adult, you need to start having adult relationships.  Don't even get me started on that little stunt you pulled last night-"

"Lexa told you about that?" Clarke groaned as she put her face in her hands.

"Of course she did, we are best friends.  It hurt her, Clarke.  Lexa doesn't show emotion a lot but don't believe for one second that she doesn't hurt and bleed like the rest of us.  If I didn't think you would be great for her I'd smoke the living shit out of you for what you did to her.  Prove me right, Clarke.  Prove that you deserve her.  She is risking a lot.  You both have a lot to lose if your relationship is discovered but she has way more.  She is the higher ranking and will be held to a high standard than you.  The ramifications will extend beyond her military career if she is found to have a relationship with you that is deemed inappropriate.  I don't think you truly realize the magnitude of the situation.  She's willing to give everything up for you, are you willing to do the same?"  Clarke didn't answer but Costia could see the answer in her eyes; she would.

Clarke walked back down the hall to her waiting friends.  She felt like a total ass hole.  Costia was right, she had been acting like a bitch.  Clarke felt ashamed and vowed to make things right.

"You guys ready?"

"In a sec.  We need a judge for who has the better joke."  Raven took her challenges serious.

"Ugh, seriously.  We have to go."  When her two friends didn't budge she decided that it would be quicker to go with it than to fight it, "Fine! Hurry, I'm hungry."

"I bet you are." Raven seductively stated while wiggling her eyebrows.

Clarke was not amused, "is that your joke?"

"No.  Tris you go first.  Age before beauty."

"You're so sweet, douche.  Okay.  What do fifty state workers and fifty lesbians have in common?"

"I don't know. What?"

"A hundred people that don't do dick."

"Okay, that was slightly amusing.  Next, Raven."

"What do you call the cabinet that a lesbian keeps her alcohol in?"

"Um...I don't know. What?"

"A liquor box."

"Ah like lick her but liquor.  Nice play on words.  Octavia?"

"Why can't a lesbian wear makeup and diet at the same time?"

"This joke is already lame, it has the word diet in it."

"Shut up, Raven!  I don't know, O.  Why?"

"Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face."

"Sorry Tris and sorry...Raven.  Octavia is the winner."

"No fucking way! Mine was way better!"  Raven protested.

"You wish, Raven.  Mine was by far the best." Tris argued.

"Why did you guys make me the judge if you aren't going to agree with my judgement?"

Costia walked back to the CQ desk and was not in the mood to hear their arguing, "Ladies, I do believe you have somewhere else to be.  Unless, you want to be put to work.  I have a lot of things that need to be done-"

"We were just leaving."  Octavia said while pulling her friends with her.

"Good." Costia couldn't help but be amused by the trio, "Oh, and Octavia's joke was the best."  How could they argue with a SSG.

\--

Lexa had woken up later than she had wanted and had spent the rest of the time furiously running around trying to get everything ready for the party.  She had just finished getting ready when her first guests arrived.  For once she enjoyed everyone in her squad.  Normally, there was at least one idiot that she had to pretend to tolerate.  She still couldn't help feeling a little disappointed when she realized it wasn't Clarke knocking on her door.  

The party was in full swing by the time Clarke, Raven, and Octavia arrived.  They hadn't expected so many people to be at Lexa's but it seemed as though everyone in the squad had brought a few people with them.  Holidays were always hard when away from family, which is one of the reasons Lexa threw the party.  The other was to get Clarke to her house.  Lexa was grilling and babysitting a beer when she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand.  She felt Clarke before she saw her.  It was as if their bodies were linked in some spiritual way.  Clarke looked damn sexy in a pink tank and short jean shorts.  Lexa subconsciously liked her lips at the sight of Clarke's smooth legs and ample cleavage.  She knew it was going to be hard to not stare all night.  

Clarke was nervous walking into Lexa's house.  When she entered she was hit with the smell that was Lexa.  It made her feel at home.  Lexa's house wasn't big but it was nice and the way Lexa had arranged the rooms made it seem larger than it was.  It felt like she belonged there.  Clarke followed Raven and Octavia to the back yard.  It was spacious and had a deck attached to the house.  There were people all over the place.  Some were playing volleyball, others were playing beer pong, and the rest were just drinking and talking.  Clarke's eyes were instantly drawn to Lexa.  Clarke was slammed with a wave of arousal when her eyes met Lexa's.  Clarke could feel everywhere Lexa's eyes travelled.  Clarke felt warm and ready.  

"Here, you look like you need a drink to cool you down."  Octavia said as she placed a cold beer in Clarke's hand.

"Yeah, thanks."  There was no use in denying it.

"That's what I'm here for.  I'm going to go join the volleyball game, wanna come?"

"No I think I'm going to...do something.  I can't really think right now.  Don't look at me like that.  Go play."

Raven had already deserted them and joined the beer pong crowd.  Clarke knew that is where she would be the rest of the night.  Clarke wanted to go talk to Lexa but she was flanked by Fox and Jasper.  Not exactly the people she wanted around when she was talking to Lexa.  So Clarke decided to join the volleyball game after all.

Lexa couldn't take her eyes off of Clarke.  She had no idea what Jasper and Fox were talking about.  She'd sometimes throw in a "yeah" or a "mhmm".  She could have been agreeing to give up her first born to Satan for all she knew.  At that time nothing else mattered except Clarke and the sexy look of determination on her face.  

"Hey, Lex.  It's one thing to not pay attention to us but if you're going to cook you may want to pay attention to the grill.  I'm just saying...because you're about to burn the burgers."

Jasper was right.  At least he didn't know who had all of her attention.  

"Food is ready!"  Fox yell was quickly followed by a stampede.  Food and alcohol is the best way to get soldiers moving fast.  

Clarke wanted to sit with Lexa but Lexa wouldn't sit down.  She was constantly moving and checking on people, being the gracious host.  They had all had their fill of food and alcohol when it began to rain drawing the party to a close.  They had all stayed to help clean up.  Clarke was walking back onto the deck when a drunk Monty slipped while carrying discarded half drank cups of beer.  Clarke tried to dodge the liquid that had taken flight but to no avail, she was drenched.  

"Seriously, Monty?"

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Clarke."  He slurred through his repressed laugh.

Clarke couldn't be mad at him he was so cute and soon they were both laughing.  Clarke turned and walked back into the house to ask if she could have something to dry off with.  She was first met by her two friends that thought that Clarke being covered in lukewarm beer was the most hilarious thing.  Luckily, she was saved by Lexa because her friends were no help.

"You can rinse off in the shower and I'll get you something to wear.  If you try to drive and get pulled over they will never believe you haven't drank anything."  Lexa blushed at the thought of Clarke in her shower and in her clothes.  From the blush on Clarke's face Lexa could tell she was thinking the same thing.  

Clarke followed Lexa through the hallway to the bathroom.  Even though Clarke hadn't drank any alcohol she felt intoxicated at the closeness of Lexa.  Lexa retuned from her room with a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt.  The were standing so close to each other.  All Lexa wanted to do was drag Clarke to her room and make her come over and over again.  She could see Clarke look at her lips while licking her own and knew Clarke was thinking something similar.  The air around them was charged with sexual tension.  

"You...ahem...you should probably...I should go check on the...thing."  And with that Lexa hurried down the hallway back to the group.  Lexa's skin was burning and her fingers were itching to trace every inch of Clarke.  It was almost unbearable.

\--

Clarke loved the thought of being in Lexa's shower.  She took her time smelling all of the shampoos and soaps.  They smelled like Lexa and Clarke couldn't help but inhale deeply.  It caused a physical reaction in Clarke and she knew she had it bad if a shampoo that smelled like Lexa was getting making her wet.  Clarke finished showering and dressed in the provided clothes.  They were soft and also smelled like Lexa.  Clarke was wrapped in all things Lexa and she loved it.  As Clarke walked down the hall she noticed a lack of noise.  When she entered the living area she noticed a lack of people.

"Where did everyone go?'

"They left already.  Reyes and Blake said, and I quote, 'tell that slut we were tired of waiting on her.'  They caught a ride with Lincoln.  Is something going on between Lincoln and Blake.  Never mind I don't really want to know."  Lexa was feeling awkward all of the sudden.  She had never expected to be alone in her house with Clarke and now that she was she couldn't think of anything to say and didn't know what to do.

Clarke wanted to apologize for the way she had been acting but she didn't know how to start the conversation.  She was nervous, not like the normally confident person she was.  

"Well, I should probably go before it starts raining even harder.  Thanks for the clothes."  Clarke didn't want to leave.

"Oh, um, yeah.  You probably should.  And don't mention the clothes.  Text me when you get back to the barracks so I know you made it safely."  Lexa didn't want Clarke to leave.  Her heart was telling her to say something, anything to make her stay.  Her brain wasn't cooperating. 

Lexa walked Clarke to the door and the house was filled with the sound of the falling rain hitting the pavement.  Clarke stepped out onto the porch and turned to Lexa.

"Thanks for inviting us over.  I had fun."  No that's not what you want to say.  Stop being a pussy.

"Thanks for coming.  It-"

"That's not what I wanted to say.  What I wanted to say is that I am sorry for everything.  I acted like a child and you didn't deserve to be treated that way.  I talked to Costia today and she set me straight on a few things that I had misunderstood.  I was wrong and I'm sorry.  That's what I wanted to say and I've said it so I'm going to go."  The words rushed out of Clarke's mouth and before Lexa could respond Clarke was running through the rain to her car.  She had almost reached it when she heard Lexa call out to her.  Clarke halted abruptly and turned around to look at Lexa.  Lexa was walking towards Clarke.  She seemed unfazed by the rain that seemed to have started falling harder.

"Stay."  With one word Lexa had crumbled every wall that Clarke had placed around her heart.  She ran towards Lexa and pressed her lips to Lexa's as her arms wrapped around Lexa's shoulders.  Lexa couldn't fight her love for Clarke anymore.  So she gave in to every emotion that Clarke elicited in her.  Lexa lifted Clarke up and carried her into her house while Clarke attacked her neck with fervor.   Once inside the house Lexa sat Clarke down and kicked the door shut.  Clarke's hands were all over Lexa, stripping her of her wet clothes and leaving a trail to Lexa's room.  She had the overwhelming need to be inside Clarke. Lexa moved Clarke to her bed. Clarke scooted backwards on the bed as Lexa stood at the end watching her with a hunger that devoured her. Lexa crawled up the bed, her eyes never leaving Clarke's. Lexa's hands slid up Clarke's legs and stopped at her hips. Her fingers hooked the thong that was guarding what was hers. Lexa pulled the offending garment off and lowered her mouth to Clarke's inner thighs.

Clarke's breathing was ragged. The anticipation was building within her and she felt as though she was going to come at the slightest touch from Lexa. Clarke was torn between wanting to touch Lexa and being touched by Lexa. Every thought was erased when Lexa's tongue travelled up her slit to her clit. Clarke's body jumped at the sensation of Lexa warm mouth lapping in her warmth. Lexa had never tasted something so sweet. It was as if Lexa had finally found the thing her body and soul hadn't known it was craving. She knew she could no longer live without what she was feasting upon. Lexa could have stayed where she was for the rest of her life and died a happy woman.

Clarke's moans were getting louder and encouraged Lexa. Clarke found religion when Lexa added a finger and then another and began to pump in and out. Clarke called out to god over an over again. Lexa's fingers mixed with Lexa's mouth had Clarke bucking her hips and riding Lexa's face.

"Oh my god, Lexa! I'm going to come if you keep doing that." Clarke moaned.  Every thrust pushed her closer to the edge, "Fuck, Lex, I'm-" The orgasm sent waves and waves of pleasure coursing through her body.

Her hands were on Lexa's head pushing her further into her while she rode out the best orgasm of her life. Now that Lexa had experienced an orgasming Clarke she could never go back. Lexa gently removed her fingers and licked them clean. Clarke was still shaking from the after shocks as she pulled Lexa up to her. Clarke could taste herself on Lexa which made Clarke ready for more.

"My turn."  Clarke said with a devilish grin.

She pulled Lexa up until she was straddling Clarke's face.  Lexa instinctively gripped the headboard when Clarke's tongue put pressure on Lexa's clit.  The only thing that could quench Clarke's thirst was the liquid that was freely flowing from Lexa.  Clarke gripped Lexa's bucking hips as she rode Clarke's face.  Lexa could feel Clarke everywhere that her body demanded to be touched.  It was almost as if Clarke was tuned to Lexa's needs.  Lexa could feel Clarke's hand rubbing up her torso and stop at her breasts.  Lexa almost came when Clarke pinched her nipple between her finger and thumb.  It was the right balance of pleasure and pain.  

It was as though Clarke was using her tongue as a paintbrush, Lexa's come as the paint and Lexa's clit as the canvas.  Lexa had never felt so undone in her life.  She would have promised Clarke the stars and delivered them to her in a Tiffany & Co box as long as it meant Clarke's mouth and tongue would continue to make her feel every sensation she was feeling. 

Clarke started to moan and the vibrations from her moans caused the orgasm that was building within Lexa to explode with such force that Lexa thought she was going to break the headboard.  

"Don't stop, Clarke.  Fuck!"  Lexa screamed as she ground down onto Clarke's tongue that was adding the right amount of pressure to the right spot.  Lexa's legs were weak as she rode out her orgasm.  Clarke lapped up everything that poured from Lexa.

Lexa rolled over and sat against the headboard with her eyes closed as she regained her composure.  Her eyes cracked open when she felt Clarke's soft skin against hers as Clarke straddled Lexa's hips.  Clarke briefly brought their lips together.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I was thinking about how I want you to be mine." 

"I am yours, only yours, and you are mine."

"Good because...I'm in love with you."  

Clarke's smile could have taken the Suns place, "I'm in love with you too."

TBC...


	8. Do You Remember (Without G!P)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First let me preface this by saying that I am so sorry for the delay. I started my fall semester and also a Corrections Academy all in the same week so life has been hella busy. I kinda pushed this out today and I'm not totally pleased with it but I wanted to give you something. The next chapter will be better, promise! Again, my wife is asleep and so I don't have a proofreader so if there are any mistakes I apologize and please don't hesitate to point them out to me. Hope you enjoy!

The morning light filtered through the blinds and the little square of light that was not blocked, as luck would have it, was shining in Clarke’s eyes.  The brightness caused Clarke to stir.  The familiar warmth that surrounded her made her smile to herself.  Clarke had never been one to cuddle but feeling Lexa pressed against her back made her reconsider.  Clarke’s could feel a change in herself.  She had slept with a lot of people.  Well, not like a lot, a lot but she wasn’t inexperienced by any stretch of the imagination. She had never experienced the feelings with the others that were currently reigning in her.  Lexa made her spastic soul calm and her heart swell. Clarke’s musings were interrupted when soft lips pressed against her shoulder.

“I can hear you thinking.  Are you okay with everything that happened last night?” Lexa panicked a little during the silence between the question and the answer.

“Everything is perfect.”  Clarke reassured her as she rolled over and placed a quick kiss on Lexa’s lips.

“Mmm, good morning.  Did you sleep well?”  Lexa's voice still had the roughness from being unused.  Clarke found that she loved the way it sounded. 

"I did when you finally let me get some sleep."  Clarke teased.

"I didn't hear you complaining."

"Oh, you're feisty in the morning."  Clarke commented as she brought their lips together.  

Their kiss was cut short by the incessant buzzing of Clarke's phone.

"Go ahead and answer it.  I'm going to go brush my teeth so you'll actually want to kiss me when you get off the phone."  Lexa teased with a wink. 

Clarke answered her phone and let out a low moan when she saw Lexa's naked body retreat to the bathroom.

"Um...Clarke?"

"Oh, sorry! Yeah, what's up and why are you calling me at...11am?  Damn, it's 11am.  I thought it was way earlier. Anyway, what do you want?"

"Well, good morning to you too, Princess.  Raven and I came to your room to see if you wanted to go to IHOP but you aren't answering your door...why aren't you answering your door?  Oh my God!  Did you sleep with...are you still there?"  Clarke could hear Octavia take her mouth from the phone and tell Raven about the newly developed situation.  "Raven said say yes for yes and yes for no because, bitch, we know the answer is yes!"  Clarke's laughter stopped when the bathroom door opened.  Her eyes raked over Lexa's naked form and she was suddenly filled with the need to touch and taste her.

"O, I'll have to call you back later...like a lot later, so don't call me. Bye."  Clarke could hear Octavia's protests as she ended the call.  

Lexa chuckled as she padded her way back to the bed, "Got a hot date or something?"

"Or something."  Lexa crawled up the bed, straddled Clarke, but was stopped when she dipped her head to capture Clarke's lips, "Wait.  You can't be the only one that is minty fresh."  Clarke said through the hand that was trying to block her morning breath.

Lexa giggled as she rolled off of Clarke.  The sight of a naked Clarke caused liquid heat to pool between her thighs.  If Lexa allowed herself she would be thinking about the ramifications of sleeping with a subordinate but she was too happy at that moment to allow any negative thoughts to occupy her mind.  Lexa had fallen hard for the blonde vixen and she had no intent of getting back up.  Ever since Lexa had laid eyes on Clarke, Lexa's world had changed...for the better.

"Hey you. Something on your mind?"  Clarke asked from her leaned position in the bathroom doorway.

"Yeah, come here."  Lexa waited until Clarke's head was lying on her chest, their legs intertwined, "I was thinking about the first time I met you."

"Oh God.  That feels like forever ago!  It's been like what four-"

"Four months.  I remember watching you walk in and thinking..."

\--

_4 Months Prior_

 

"Damn!"  Lexa said aloud to no one in particular.

"What?"  Costia and Anya asked in unison while looking in the direction that Lexa was looking.  

Walking through the door was the most beautiful woman that Lexa had ever laid eyes on.  Her blonde hair cascaded down her shoulder in waves.  Her jeans looked painted on and her top...boobs.  Lexa was salivating.  She didn't even know that mystery girls name but she did know that she wanted her.  

"Damn is right."  Anya's admission was greeted with a displeased look from Costia, "What? You know you're thinking the same thing."

Costia rolled her eyes and then focused them back on Lexa, "You should go talk to her."

"Yeah but she looks like she's with people."  Lexa noticed two brunettes walk in behind her and point to the bar.  

"Don't be a pussy.  Go get em tiger."  Anya said while pushing Lexa towards them.  

Lexa made her way to the trio, who were waiting in line to order their drinks.  She stood behind them trying to think of a way to start the conversation.  The way the brunettes chatted made Lexa think she wasn't going to get a chance to get a word in edge wise.

"What are we going to get?"

"Drinks as strong as us."

"Okay, so that's a Corpse Reviver for Clarke and I and a Shirley Temple for you, O."

"Ha! Fuck you. I'm strong like a Samurai sword."

"That was lame sauce.  Seriously. You went with a Samurai sword?  Out of everything in the history of ever, you went with a Samurai sword."

"Do you know how a Samurai sword is made?  Let me throw some knowledge at you.  Pull up a seat boys and girls school is in session and Ms. Blake is teaching.  The sword is a combination of two metals.  One is strong and gives it its razor edge and the other allows for it to be flexible.  The metal is then repeatedly heated, pounded with a hammer, and folded.  All the impurities are burned from it and it is pounded with a hammer some more.  It's a tedious process but in the end you have a highly versatile katana that can cut you in half."

"So...you get pounded a lot? Oh wait, you get hot and then pounded.  I don't see how that makes you strong.  A Slutty McGee, yes.  Strong? No."

"You make Clarke upset when you talk to me like that, Raven."

"Don't drag me into the middle of this weird argument."

 _Clarke.  I like that name._ While Lexa was focused on Clarke's name she didn't notice the trio get their drinks and make their way to a table near the dance floor.   _Fuck_!  Lexa had missed her chance.  She had never been good at approaching women.  Her friends didn't understand her hang up.  She was gorgeous and had the personality to match.  They couldn't get why Lexa struggled with meeting women.  Lexa made her way back to her friends with her head lowered.

"You bitched out, didn't you?"

"Anya, stop pressuring her."

Lexa gazed across the dance floor to the blonde she now knew as Clarke.  She could hear Anya and Costia arguing in the background but wasn't paying attention to them.  Her focus was solely on Clarke.  She was certain that if Clarke or her friends noticed her that they would think she was possibly a stalker.  Lexa couldn't shake the girl.  When Clarke got up to dance with her friends she couldn't avert her eyes from her swaying hips.  When a stranger sidled up to Clarke she could feel jealously spread through her like a fire.  It was a new feeling for Lexa.  She didn't even know the girl and she was feeling jealous.   _That can't be healthy._

Clarke could feel eyes on her all night. It wasn't until she noticed a dark haired beauty across the dance floor that she realized who the eyes belonged to.  The woman was gorgeous.  Clarke definitely didn't mind her eyes being on her.  If she was being completely honest she would have preferred more than just her eyes being on her.  Clarke caught the mystery woman looking at her often.  She waited for the woman to approach her but the girl never made a move.   Clarke wondered if perhaps the woman's hesitance was due to one of her companions being her girlfriend.  Clarke hoped that that was not the case.  After Raven and Octavia pulled Clarke to the dance floor she thought she saw her admirer's stare become more intense when some drunken stranger began pulling at her and sloppily grinding against her.  The stranger's wandering hands was not a journey that Clarke welcomed.  Clarke tried to politely remove herself from the strangers grasp but to no avail.  Before Clarke could call out to her friends the hot, stale beer breath on her neck was replaced by a whoosh of cool air and the smell of Dolce and Gabana Light Blue.  Before she could turn to ascertain what had just occurred she felt warm breath on the shell of her ear as someone whispered, "You looked like you needed a little help, follow my lead."

"Hey, what the fuck do you think you are doing.  I was dancing with her."  Clarke heard the stranger slur at her rescuer.  Clarke looked over her shoulder and visibly gulped when she viewed her admirer.  Clarke would have gone along with anything that woman wanted.

"You were and now you aren't.  I don't appreciate you fondling my girlfriend but she is quite irresistible so I will let it slide.  Just this once, though."  Lexa didn't wait for a response, she turned her back to the stranger and turned Clarke in her arms so that they faced each other.  "Sorry about that."

"Did you mean that?"

"Yeah, nobody should have to put up with that."

"No, I mean about me being irresistible?"

Lexa's blush could be seen even in the dark room.  Clarke found it adorable.  

"You've seen yourself right.  I think you know the answer to that.  I'm Lexa, by the way."

"Well, fake girlfriend Lexa, I'm Clarke.  What took you so long?"  Clarke loved the feeling of their bodies touching as they danced to the music.  The atmosphere, the music, the alcohol, Lexa...it was like an aphrodisiac to Clarke.   

"Well, I didn't know if you could handle that woman on your own but then I saw that she wasn't giving up."

"No, I mean to talk to me.  You were looking at me all night."

"You saw that, did you?  That's embarrassing.  I'm shy."

"It's cute.  You're here now."  Clarke moved their bodies closer as they continued to dance.  

Their bodies moved with the beat.  Clarke and Lexa were both great dancers.  Their bodies moved together perfectly.  Lexa's hands at first behaved themselves but soon Clarke was moving them to her body.  Before long they had a mind of their own and moved to touch every inch of Clarke that they could.  Clarke had never wanted someone so badly in her life.  Lexa couldn't get enough of Clarke.  A slow song brought them face to face again.  Their eyes dipped to each others mouth but neither made the first move.  Their breath was fast and ragged.  Clarke felt like she was going to pass out if Lexa didn't kiss her.  Lexa felt like she was going to die if Clarke didn't kiss her.  Their lips moved closer to each other.  Lexa could feel the ghost of breath on her lips.  She was so close to what she had always wanted but never knew she wanted.  Clarke's heart was about to pound out of her chest.  Just as their lips were about to touch they were showered in bright lights.  Both women jerked back as their eyes tried to adjust to the new lighting.  

"Time to go home lover girls."  Raven said as she grasped Clarke's shoulder.

"Already?"  Clarke asked.  Her friends could hear the disappointment in her voice, "Can you give me a minute, guys?  I'll meet you outside."  Clarke waited until her friends were out of ear shot.  "So can I get your number?"

"Definitely."  Lexa gave Clarke her number but left hastily after her friends continuously yelled for her.  

Clarke walked out of the club with the biggest smile on her face.  She had a feeling she was going to like her duty station.  

"So?" Octavia asked excitedly.

"I got a number, bitches!" Clarke held up her phone as her friends exclaimed happily. 

 

The next morning Clarke woke to find that she hadn't  _saved_ Lexa's number.  Raven and Octavia teased her relentlessly but they also felt bad for their friend.  They went back to the club that night to see if Lexa was there but luck was not on their side.  

Monday morning the trio was finally sent to their unit after spending six days at the in processing unit.  They were picked up by a Sergeant Jasper and driven to their new Company.  Sgt Jasper had informed them that they would be in SSG Woods' team.  Clarke just hoped the Woods guy wasn't a complete ass hole.  

The trio followed Sgt Jasper down the hallway and into the squad room.  The woman behind the desk looked up and green eyes met blue.  

"Well, this just got interesting."  Mumbled to Octavia.

"Shut up, Raven."

Lexa visibly swallowed and Clarke paled.  Neither of them could believe the luck.  Lexa had been expecting a text from the beautiful girl and when it didn't come she just chalked it up to Clarke sobering up and not feeling the same things she was feeling when she had booze in her.  Lexa wouldn't ever admit it but it hurt.  Now said woman was standing in front of her at parade rest with a look of horror that Lexa was sure was mirrored on her own face.

 

\--

_Present Day_

 

Lexa and Clarke laughed as they remembered their predicament.  

"I didn't know you were behind me in line."

"I was trying to get up the nerve.  By the way, Reyes and Blake talk about some weird shit."

"You've no idea." Clarke rubbed her fingers over Lexa's toned abs.  She smiled at the small flutters she felt below her.  "Every time you would look at me and smile I would melt.  Trying to stay away from you was damn near impossible.  I would lay awake sometimes and just think about how life could be with you.  I would catch myself staring at you and just thinking about what if.  I never thought it would happen, to be honest."

"You're telling me!  Every time I had to go to your room to do inspection all I could think about was throwing you on the bed and fucking you.  I just wanted to touch and taste every inch of you.  When we would be around the squad I kept having to remind myself that I needed to talk to and look at the others.  I always just focused on you.  I would try to ignore you and then you would capture my attention again.  I would get so frustrated at myself because you always made me lose my self control.  I went through the what if's too.  I still don't know how we are going to do this but I don't want to think about that right now.  I'm way too happy and I want to just stay in our bubble for a little while longer."

"I def want to stay in the bubble, too.  All of your back and forth was confusing.  I'm not going to lie."

"I was trying to be good." Lexa said kissing the top of Clarke's head.  She really had tried but the blonde had gotten to her.  She had knocked down every wall Lexa had put up.

Lexa's breath hitched as Clarke's hand slipped further down.  Lexa's eyes shut and she let out a shuddering breath when Clarke's fingers skimmed over her sensitive clit.  

"Mmm.  Fuck being good."

"Fuck, yes." Lexa moaned.

Clarke's fingers continued their slow circular motion as her lips kissed down her body.  Clarke placed lazy kisses on the inside of Lexa's thighs.  Lexa grumbled at the lose of contact when Clarke removed her fingers.  Her grumbles were replaced with moans when Clarke's tongue licked up her slit.  Lexa's legs widened, inviting Clarke in.  Clarke obliged.  Her tongue found the small bundle of nerves and her finger found Lexa's opening.  Lexa's hand was buried in Clarke's blonde mane, holding her firm.

Lexa began unabashedly riding Clarke's face, "Add another finger."  Clarke, always willing to please, did as instructed.  

Lexa's moans were getting louder and louder and she could feel the warmth spreading and her orgasm building.  Clarke was pumping her fingers in perfect rhythm with her tongue.  She had never tasted anything so satisfying.  Clarke was sure that she could live off of Lexa alone.  She would never grow tired of the nectar Lexa provided her.  Lexa's back arched off of the bed.  She was so close.  

"Fuck me, Clarke. Own me, baby.  I'm yours."

Lexa's words caused Clarke's thighs to be coated with hot liquid.  Clarke's clit throbbed along with Lexa's.  Clarke added a third digit causing Lexa to buck.  Lexa felt filled and nearer to her orgasm.  She was trying to hold on to the feeling a little longer but Clarke's warm tongue on her clit and her three fingers deep stroking her clenching walls cause Lexa to come harder than she had ever came.  The explosion within her sent waves and waves of pleasure through her and waves of molten essence into Clarke's greedy mouth.  Clarke drank freely from Lexa as she came down from her high.  Lexa was spent.  

Clarke kissed up Lexa's body stopping at her nipples to show them some attention.  Every inch of Lexa was overly sensitive.  She thought she might actually come again from Clarke's warm mouth on her nipples.  Clarke abandoned the dark nubs and continued kissing up Lexa until she reached her lips.  Lexa could taste herself on Clarke and it did nothing but start a new burning in her core.  Lexa needed to taste Clarke.  She needed to feel Clarke.  She needed to fuck Clarke.  

In an split second Lexa had reversed their positions.  Lexa cunnilingus assault on Clarke had her screaming out Lexa's name.  Clarke wasn't sure exactly how Lexa was doing it but she felt like she was everywhere at the same time.  Clarke was like a drug to Lexa.  The more Lexa tasted the more she craved.  Lexa's hand snaked its way up and began to lightly squeeze and roll Clarke's nipple.  Clarke's hand was on her other breast matching Lexa's movements.  Just as Clarke could feel the beginnings of her orgasm Lexa removed her beautiful mouth from Clarke's sex.  Clarke's whine was met with Lexa's cocky smirk.  Lexa sat back in a seated position and pulled Clarke up and into her lap.  Lexa's legs were oval'd in front of her and Clark sat in her lap with her legs wrapped around Lexa's torso.  Clarke brought her lips down to meet Lexa's as Lexa's fingers began teasing Clarke's clit.  Lexa's fingers would circle Clarke's clit two to three times and then she would plunge them repeatedly deep and slow into Clake's soaked entrance.  Clarke began riding Lexa's hand.  Every thrust up from Lexa was met with a downward thrust from Clarke.  Lexa's left hand wrapped around Clarke's hips and drove her deeper onto Lexa's fingers.  Clarke's movements became erratic when Lexa's thumb added glorious pressure to Clarke's clit.

"Oh fuck, baby.  You are going to make me come.  Don't stop.  Fuck, don't stop."  Clarke's nails dug into Lexa's shoulder, her head was thrown back, and her eyes were closed as she continuously dropped herself as deep as she could onto Lexa's perfect fingers.  Lexa's mouth was all over Clarke's chest and neck.  There were so many sensations that Clarke didn't know which one she loved the best.  Lexa could feel the beginning of Clarke's orgasm as her walls clenched around Lexa's fingers and a gush of wetness like a dam had broke.  Clarke bucked furiously and repeatedly called out Lexa's name.  

"I can't believe you made me wait for that, jerk."  Clarke laughed as she kissed Lexa with all the passion she possessed.  

If asked later on in life, they would both say that it was one of the happiest days of their lives.  They spent the rest of the three day weekend, thanks to Memorial Day, in bed.  Lexa found that Clarke was insatiable and she was more than okay with that.  Clarke found that Lexa loved to try new things and was very vocal about what she liked and Clarke was more than okay with that.  Tuesday may bring trouble but that weekend they spent it in the moment with no worries because at that time no one else existed.

 

 


	9. Do You Remember (With G!P)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First let me preface this by saying that I am so sorry for the delay. I started my fall semester and also a Corrections Academy all in the same week so life has been hella busy. I kinda pushed this out today and I'm not totally pleased with it but I wanted to give you something. The next chapter will be better, promise! Again, my wife is asleep and so I don't have a proofreader so if there are any mistakes I apologize and please don't hesitate to point them out to me. Hope you enjoy!

The morning light filtered through the blinds and the little square of light that was not blocked, as luck would have it, was shining in Clarke’s eyes.  The brightness caused Clarke to stir.  The familiar warmth that surrounded her made her smile to herself.  Clarke had never been one to cuddle but feeling Lexa pressed against her back made her reconsider.  Clarke’s could feel a change in herself.  She had slept with a lot of people.  Well, not like a lot, a lot but she wasn’t inexperienced by any stretch of the imagination. She had never experienced the feelings with the others that were currently reigning in her.  Lexa made her spastic soul calm and her heart swell. Clarke’s musings were interrupted when soft lips pressed against her shoulder.

“I can hear you thinking.  Are you okay with everything that happened last night?” Lexa panicked a little during the silence between the question and the answer.

“Everything is perfect.”  Clarke reassured her as she rolled over and placed a quick kiss on Lexa’s lips.

“Mmm, good morning.  Did you sleep well?”  Lexa's voice still had the roughness from being unused.  Clarke found that she loved the way it sounded. 

"I did when you finally let me get some sleep."  Clarke teased.

"I didn't hear you complaining."

"Oh, you're feisty in the morning."  Clarke commented as she brought their lips together.  

Their kiss was cut short by the incessant buzzing of Clarke's phone.

"Go ahead and answer it.  I'm going to go brush my teeth so you'll actually want to kiss me when you get off the phone."  Lexa teased with a wink. 

Clarke answered her phone and let out a low moan when she saw Lexa's naked body retreat to the bathroom.

"Um...Clarke?"

"Oh, sorry! Yeah, what's up and why are you calling me at...11am?  Damn, it's 11am.  I thought it was way earlier. Anyway, what do you want?"

"Well, good morning to you too, Princess.  Raven and I came to your room to see if you wanted to go to IHOP but you aren't answering your door...why aren't you answering your door?  Oh my God!  Did you sleep with...are you still there?"  Clarke could hear Octavia take her mouth from the phone and tell Raven about the newly developed situation.  "Raven said say yes for yes and yes for no because, bitch, we know the answer is yes!"  Clarke's laughter stopped when the bathroom door opened.  Her eyes raked over Lexa's naked form and she was suddenly filled with the need to touch and taste her.

"O, I'll have to call you back later...like a lot later, so don't call me. Bye."  Clarke could hear Octavia's protests as she ended the call.  

Lexa chuckled as she padded her way back to the bed, "Got a hot date or something?"

"Or something."  Lexa crawled up the bed, straddled Clarke, but was stopped when she dipped her head to capture Clarke's lips, "Wait.  You can't be the only one that is minty fresh."  Clarke said through the hand that was trying to block her morning breath.

Lexa giggled as she rolled off of Clarke.  The sight of a naked Clarke caused Lexa's member began to gradually stretch.  If Lexa allowed herself she would be thinking about the ramifications of sleeping with a subordinate but she was too happy at that moment to allow any negative thoughts to occupy her mind.  Lexa had fallen hard for the blonde vixen and she had no intent of getting back up.  Ever since Lexa had laid eyes on Clarke, Lexa's world had changed...for the better.

"Hey you. Something on your mind?"  Clarke asked from her leaned position in the bathroom doorway.

"Yeah, come here."  Lexa waited until Clarke's head was lying on her chest, their legs intertwined, "I was thinking about the first time I met you."

"Oh God.  That feels like forever ago!  It's been like what four-"

"Four months.  I remember watching you walk in and thinking..."

\--

4 Months Prior

 

"Damn!"  Lexa said aloud to no one in particular.

"What?"  Costia and Anya asked in unison while looking in the direction that Lexa was looking.  

Walking through the door was the most beautiful woman that Lexa had ever laid eyes on.  Her blonde hair cascaded down her shoulder in waves.  Her jeans looked painted on and her top...boobs.  Lexa was salivating.  She didn't even know that mystery girls name but she did know that she wanted her.  

"Damn is right."  Anya's admission was greeted with a displeased look from Costia, "What? You know you're thinking the same thing."

Costia rolled her eyes and then focused them back on Lexa, "You should go talk to her."

"Yeah but she looks like she's with people."  Lexa noticed two brunettes walk in behind her and point to the bar.  

"Don't be a pussy.  Go get em tiger."  Anya said while pushing Lexa towards them.  

Lexa made her way to the trio, who were waiting in line to order their drinks.  She stood behind them trying to think of a way to start the conversation.  The way the brunettes chatted made Lexa think she wasn't going to get a chance to get a word in edge wise.

"What are we going to get?" Clarke asked her friends.

"Drinks as strong as us."

"Okay, so that's a Corpse Reviver for Clarke and I and a Shirley Temple for you, O."

"Ha! Fuck you. I'm strong like a Samurai sword."

"That was lame sauce.  Seriously. You went with a Samurai sword?  Out of everything in the history of ever, you went with a Samurai sword."

"Do you know how a Samurai sword is made?  Let me throw some knowledge at you.  Pull up a seat boys and girls school is in session and Ms. Blake is teaching.  The sword is a combination of two metals.  One is strong and gives it its razor edge and the other allows for it to be flexible.  The metal is then repeatedly heated, pounded with a hammer, and folded.  All the impurities are burned from it and it is pounded with a hammer some more.  It's a tedious process but in the end you have a highly versatile katana that can cut you in half."

"So...you get pounded a lot? Oh wait, you get hot and then pounded.  I don't see how that makes you strong.  A Slutty McGee, yes.  Strong? No."

"Don't talk to me like that, Raven.  You're upsetting Clarke."

"Don't drag me into the middle of this weird argument."

Clarke.  I like that name. While Lexa was focused on Clarke's name she didn't notice the trio get their drinks and make their way to a table near the dance floor.  Fuck!  Lexa had missed her chance.  She had never been good at approaching women.  Her friends didn't understand her hang up.  She was gorgeous and had the personality to match.  They couldn't get why Lexa struggled with meeting women.  Lexa made her way back to her friends with her head lowered.

"You bitched out, didn't you?"

"Anya, stop pressuring her."

Lexa gazed across the dance floor to the blonde she now knew as Clarke.  She could hear Anya and Costia arguing in the background but wasn't paying attention to them.  Her focus was solely on Clarke.  She was certain that if Clarke or her friends noticed her that they would think she was possibly a stalker.  Lexa couldn't shake the girl.  When Clarke got up to dance with her friends she couldn't avert her eyes from her swaying hips.  When a stranger sidled up to Clarke she could feel jealously spread through her like a fire.  It was a new feeling for Lexa.  She didn't even know the girl and she was feeling jealous.  That can't be healthy.

Clarke could feel eyes on her all night.  It wasn't until she noticed a dark haired beauty across the dance floor that she realized who the eyes belonged to.  The woman was gorgeous.  Clarke definitely didn't mind her eyes being on her.  If she was being completely honest she would have preferred more than just her eyes being on her.  Clarke caught the mystery woman looking at her often.  She waited for the woman to approach her but the girl never made a move.   Clarke wondered if perhaps the woman's hesitance was due to one of her companions being her girlfriend.  Clarke hoped that that was not the case.  After Raven and Octavia pulled Clarke to the dance floor she thought she saw her admirer's stare become more intense when some drunken stranger began pulling at her and sloppily grinding against her.  The stranger's wandering hands was not a journey that Clarke welcomed.  Clarke tried to politely remove herself from the strangers grasp but to no avail.  Before Clarke could call out to her friends the hot, stale beer breath on her neck was replaced by a whoosh of cool air and the smell of Dolce and Gabana Light Blue.  Before she could turn to ascertain what had just occurred she felt warm breath on the shell of her ear as someone whispered, "You looked like you needed a little help, follow my lead."

"Hey, what the fuck do you think you are doing.  I was dancing with her."  Clarke heard the stranger slur at her rescuer.  Clarke looked over her shoulder and visibly gulped when she viewed her admirer.  Clarke would have gone along with anything that woman wanted.

"You were and now you aren't.  I don't appreciate you fondling my girlfriend but she is quite irresistible so I will let it slide.  Just this once, though."  Lexa didn't wait for a response, she turned her back to the stranger and turned Clarke in her arms so that they faced each other.  "Sorry about that."

"Did you mean that?"

"Yeah, nobody should have to put up with that."

"No, I mean about me being irresistible?"

Lexa's blush could be seen even in the dark room.  Clarke found it adorable.  

"You've seen yourself right.  I think you know the answer to that.  I'm Lexa, by the way."

"Well, fake girlfriend Lexa, I'm Clarke.  What took you so long?"  Clarke loved the feeling of their bodies touching as they danced to the music.  The atmosphere, the music, the alcohol, Lexa...it was like an aphrodisiac to Clarke.   

"Well, I didn't know if you could handle that woman on your own but then I saw that she wasn't giving up."

"No, I mean to talk to me.  You were looking at me all night."

"You saw that, did you?  That's embarrassing.  I'm shy."

"It's cute.  You're here now."  Clarke moved their bodies closer as they continued to dance.  

Their bodies moved with the beat.  Clarke and Lexa were both great dancers.  Their bodies moved together perfectly.  Lexa's hands at first behaved themselves but soon Clarke was moving them to her body.  Before long they had a mind of their own and moved to touch every inch of Clarke that they could.  Clarke had never wanted someone so badly in her life.  Lexa couldn't get enough of Clarke.  A slow song brought them face to face again.  Their eyes dipped to each others mouth but neither made the first move.  Their breath was fast and ragged.  Clarke felt like she was going to pass out if Lexa didn't kiss her.  Lexa felt like she was going to die if Clarke didn't kiss her.  Their lips moved closer to each other.  Lexa could feel the ghost of breath on her lips.  She was so close to what she had always wanted but never knew she wanted.  Clarke's heart was about to pound out of her chest.  Just as their lips were about to touch they were showered in bright lights.  Both women jerked back as their eyes tried to adjust to the new lighting.  

"Time to go home lover girls."  Raven said as she grasped Clarke's shoulder.

"Already?"  Clarke asked.  Her friends could hear the disappointment in her voice, "Can you give me a minute, guys?  I'll meet you outside."  Clarke waited until her friends were out of ear shot.  "So can I get your number?"

"Definitely."  Lexa gave Clarke her number but left hastily after her friends continuously yelled for her.  

Clarke walked out of the club with the biggest smile on her face.  She had a feeling she was going to like her duty station.  

"So?" Octavia asked excitedly.

"I got a number, bitches!" Clarke held up her phone as her friends exclaimed happily. 

 

The next morning Clarke woke to find that she hadn't saved Lexa's number.  Raven and Octavia teased her relentlessly but they also felt bad for their friend.  They went back to the club that night to see if Lexa was there but luck was not on their side.  

Monday morning the trio was finally sent to their unit after spending six days at the in processing unit.  They were picked up by a Sergeant Jasper and driven to their new Company.  Sgt Jasper had informed them that they would be in SSG Woods' team.  Clarke just hoped the Woods guy wasn't a complete ass hole.  

The trio followed Sgt Jasper down the hallway and into the squad room.  The woman behind the desk looked up and green eyes met blue.  

"Well, this just got interesting."  Mumbled to Octavia.

"Shut up, Raven."

Lexa visibly swallowed and Clarke paled.  Neither of them could believe the luck.  Lexa had been expecting a text from the beautiful girl and when it didn't come she just chalked it up to Clarke sobering up and not feeling the same things she was feeling when she had booze in her.  Lexa wouldn't ever admit it but it hurt.  Now said woman was standing in front of her at parade rest with a look of horror that Lexa was sure was mirrored on her own face.

 

\--

Present Day

 

Lexa and Clarke laughed as they remembered their predicament.  

"I didn't know you were behind me in line."

"I was trying to get up the nerve.  By the way, Reyes and Blake talk about some weird shit."

"You've no idea." Clarke rubbed her fingers over Lexa's toned abs.  She smiled at the small flutters she felt below her.  "Every time you would look at me and smile I would melt.  Trying to stay away from you was damn near impossible.  I would lay awake sometimes and just think about how life could be with you.  I would catch myself staring at you and just thinking about what if.  I never thought it would happen, to be honest."

"You're telling me!  Every time I had to go to your room to do inspection all I could think about was throwing you on the bed and fucking you.  I just wanted to touch and taste every inch of you.  When we would be around the squad I kept having to remind myself that I needed to talk to and look at the others.  I always just focused on you.  I would try to ignore you and then you would capture my attention again.  I would get so frustrated at myself because you always made me lose my self control.  I went through the what if's too.  I still don't know how we are going to do this but I don't want to think about that right now.  I'm way too happy and I want to just stay in our bubble for a little while longer."

"I def want to stay in the bubble, too.  All of your back and forth was confusing.  I'm not going to lie."

"I was trying to be good." Lexa said kissing the top of Clarke's head.  She really had tried but the blonde had gotten to her.  She had knocked down every wall Lexa had put up.

Lexa's breath hitched as Clarke's hand slipped further down.  Lexa's eyes shut and she let out a shuddering breath when Clarke began to stroke her cock.  

"Mmm.  Fuck being good."

"Fuck, yes." Lexa moaned.

Clarke's fingers continued their motion as her lips kissed down her body.  Clarke placed lazy kisses on the inside of Lexa's thighs.  Lexa grumbled at the lose of contact when Clarke removed her hand.  Her grumbles were replaced with moans when Clarke's tongue licked up her shaft.  Lexa's legs widened, inviting Clarke in.  Clarke obliged.  Her cock disappeared into Clarke's mouth as she sucked Lexa's hardness down to the hilt.  Lexa's hand was buried in Clarke's blonde mane, moving up and down with her head.

Lexa began unabashedly riding Clarke's face, "Your mouth feels so goddamned good."  Clarke's moan sent vibrations through her cock and only added to the pleasure.  

Lexa's moans were getting louder and louder and she could feel the warmth spreading and her orgasm building.  Clarke was sucking and licking in perfect rhythm with the movement of her hand up and down Lexa's shaft   She had never tasted anything so satisfying.  Lexa's back arched off of the bed.  She was so close.  Clarke knew this too but she didn't want Lexa coming just yet.  Lexa's whine at the lost contact was endearing to Clarke.

Clarke kissed up Lexa's body stopping at her nipples to show them some attention.  Every inch of Lexa was overly sensitive.  She thought she might actually come from Clarke's warm mouth on her nipples.  Clarke abandoned the dark nubs and continued kissing up Lexa until she reached her lips.  Lexa could taste herself on Clarke.  She needed to feel Clarke.  She needed to fuck Clarke.  

In an split second Lexa had reversed their positions.  Lexa cunnilingus assault on Clarke had her screaming out Lexa's name.  Clarke wasn't sure exactly how Lexa was doing it but she felt like she was everywhere at the same time.  Clarke was like a drug to Lexa.  The more Lexa tasted the more she craved.  Lexa's hand snaked its way up and began to lightly squeeze and roll Clarke's nipple.  Clarke's hand was on her other breast matching Lexa's movements.  Just as Clarke could feel the beginnings of her orgasm Lexa removed her beautiful mouth from Clarke's sex.  Clarke's whine was met with Lexa's cocky smirk.  Lexa sat back in a seated position and pulled Clarke up and into her lap.  Lexa's legs were oval'd in front of her and Clark sat in her lap with her knees on each side of Lexa's hips.  Clarke brought her lips down to meet Lexa's as Lexa led her throbbing cock to Clarke's entrance.  Lexa's fingers would circle Clarke's clit two to three times and then she would thrust repeatedly deep and slow into Clake's soaked entrance.  Clarke required more and began riding Lexa.  Every thrust up from Lexa was met with a downward thrust from Clarke.  Lexa's left hand wrapped around Clarke's hips and drove her deeper onto Lexa.  Clarke's movements became erratic when Lexa's thumb added glorious pressure to Clarke's clit.  Clarke's walls swallowed Lexa whole.  The sight of her dick disappearing inside of Clarke accompanied with the sound of her pelvis slamming into Clarke's wetness made Lexa nearly come undone. 

"Oh fuck, baby.  You are going to make me come.  Don't stop.  Fuck, don't stop."  Clarke's nails dug into Lexa's shoulder, her head was thrown back, and her eyes were closed as she continuously dropped herself as deep as she could onto Lexa's perfect head.  Lexa's mouth was all over Clarke's chest and neck.  There were so many sensations that Clarke didn't know which one she loved the best.  Lexa could feel the beginning of Clarke's orgasm as her walls clenched around Lexa's cock and a gush of wetness like a dam had broke.  Clarke bucked furiously and repeatedly called out Lexa's name.  The pulsing grip around her sensitive member sent Lexa over the edge.  Lexa gripped Clarke's shoulders and pulled her down as she drove her hips up deep and slow with every release her come.  Clarke all but collapsed onto Lexa as the tried to catch their breath. 

"I can't believe you made me wait for that, jerk."  Clarke laughed as she kissed Lexa with all the passion she possessed.  

If asked later on in life, they would both say that it was one of the happiest days of their lives.  They spent the rest of the three day weekend, thanks to Memorial Day, in bed.  Lexa found that Clarke was insatiable and she was more than okay with that.  Clarke found that Lexa loved to try new things and was very vocal about what she liked and Clarke was more than okay with that.  Tuesday may bring trouble but that weekend they spent it in the moment with no worries because at that time no one else existed.


	10. Something smells good! (Without G!P)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I apologize for the delay. Any mistakes are mine seeing as my editor (wife) is asleep. I should probably start writing these earlier in the day. Anyway, tell me what ya think. I hope you enjoy!

Lexa woke to a drooling Clark lying on her shoulder.  She smiled tenderly at the woman as she reminisced on the whirlwind that was their weekend.  So much had changed in such a short amount of time.  Lexa had tried to fight her feelings for her soldier but the heart wants what the heart wants no matter what the head says.  She had been listening to her head but her heart was steady in its fight and eventually won out.  Lexa didn't regret loving Clarke but now that their extended weekend was coming to an end she was at a loss as how to handle the out of control situation.  Anya had already declined her request to move Clarke to another platoon, "The mission comes first.  You're going to have to deal with it for right now."  She had said.  Lexa was stuck between a rock and a hard place.  Clarke moaned in her sleep and drew Lexa from her thoughts.  Lexa looked at Clarke and knew that she couldn't go back.  She couldn't pretend anymore.  Clarke had this unexplainable gravity that pulled Lexa to her, she could not escape it and she didn't want to; it was the only thing holding her to the earth.  

Lexa slowly extracted her arm from under Clarke's bed tousled hair covered head and quietly made her way down the hall to the kitchen.  Lexa wasn't a morning person but years in the Army had her waking up early even on her days off.  Trying to go back to sleep was futile.  Lexa figured if she was up she might as well make breakfast.  All of their weekend activities-well it was just one activity over and over in different positions-had depleted their energy and required as sustenance recharge.

Clarke woke up and languidly stretched her body.  She was so sore but relished the soreness and its creator.  A brief moment of panic when she realized she was alone in bed was replaced by a lazy grin when she smelled bacon and heard music coming from the kitchen.  She fought her way out of the sheet and padded to the bathroom.   

After brushing her teeth, Clarke donned a shirt of Lexa's that looked way to big for her and really old.  The word _POLIS_ was written on the front.  Clarke could tell that some letters had been removed after many years of wear and tear.  It was big, soft, and comfy, Clarke loved it.  As she tiptoed down the hall she could her Lexa singing.

"How will I know if  _she_ really loves me? I say a prayer with every heart beat."  Clarke leaned against the wall and watched a naked Lexa singing into tongs as stood in front of the stove cooking bacon.  Clarke about jumped out of her skin when Lexa screamed as the grease splashed onto her bare skin, "AH! FUCK!"

"Maybe-" Clarke's comment was cut off by another scream as Lexa quickly spun around.

"You scared the shit out of me!"  Lexa laughed while placing her hand over her heart.

"I can tell.  I was going to say maybe you shouldn't cook bacon naked.  Although, now I'm rethinking that statement because you look delicious."  The look in Clarke's eyes sent shivers through Lexa.  

"You look good in my clothes."  Lexa commented as she hungrily eyed her lover as Clarke made her way to Lexa.

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck and gently kissed her girlfriend's lips, "You taste delicious, too."

Lexa backed Clarke up to the island and lifted her onto the counter, "As much as I want to kiss you right now, you need to stay there so I can finish making you breakfast."

Clarke waited patiently, swinging her legs while she and Lexa talked about their childhoods and anything else the wanted to know about the other.  Clarke found that she loved the sound of Lexa's morning voice and her laughter.  She would do anything to keep Lexa laughing and smiling.  Lexa loved Clarke's passion for life, her family, and her friends.  Lexa had never met anyone so full of hope and dreams.  It was refreshing.   

Lexa took a bite of the cooked bacon and laughed when Clarke complained about not getting any.  Lexa broke a small piece and walked over to Clarke.  Clarke spread her legs to allow Lexa to fit between them.  Lexa put the bacon up to Clarke's mouth and released when Clarke took the meat between her lips.  Clarke gripped Lexa's hand before she could remove it.  Lexa wasn't sure what Clarke was doing because she couldn't remove her eyes from Clarke's luscious lips.  Clarke took Lexa's finger that had held the bacon and Lexa nearly came when she felt Clarke's lips and tongue wrap around her index finger and gently suck.  

"Breakfast is ready."  Lexa mumbled, her eyes still focused on her digit between those perfect lips.  Goose bumps adorned Lexa's skin when the cold air hit the finger that Clarke had released from her mouth.

"I've been ready."  Clarke said biting her lip while pulling Lexa to her waiting mouth.  

The rise and fall of their chests were very noticeable.  Clarke moaned into Lexa's mouth as she attacked her with fervor.  Lexa's hands were gripping the oversized shirt, tugging to remove the offending garment.  Clarke's hands were wrapped in Lexa's brown tresses, keeping Lexa's mouth where she wanted it for the time being.  Clarke groaned a little when Lexa pulled her mouth from Clarke's for a moment to pull the restricting shirt from the body that Lexa craved to taste.  Lexa's hands gripped the hair at the base of Clarke's head, gently pulled Clarke's head back leaving her lips to kiss down Clarke's neck.  Lexa continued kissing down Clarke's chest and stopped at Clarke's nipples that had hardened and were standing at attention waiting for Lexa's tongue to dance over them.  Clarke gripped the edge of the counter at the contact of Lexa's warm, velvet soft tongue on her nipples.  

Clarke could feel her arousal pouring from her vagina onto her thighs.  Her clit twitched when Lexa's teeth gently teased her nipple before sucking it into her mouth.  Clarke's clit begged to be touched.  The throbbing between her legs was painfully blissful.  As much as Clarke loved the attention that was being given to her breasts, she required the attention further south.  It was like Lexa could read her thoughts...or her body, Clarke wasn't sure, but before Clarke could finish a thought about what she wanted Lexa would begin to perform the desired task.  

Lexa reluctantly removed her mouth from Clarke's body.  She gripped Clarke's thighs and moved her to the edge of the counter. Lexa's eyes were burning with lust and made Clarke's breath hitch and her heart race.  Lexa placed a brief kiss at the corner of Clarke's mouth before kneeling down in front of her.  Clarke's head fell back when Lexa's warm, wet mouth met her warm, drenched center.  Lexa lapped up every bit of essence that flowed freely from Clarke's opening.   Clarke's heels were digging into Lexa's back to help steady herself on the counter while Lexa's tongue moved in pressured circles over Clarke's clit.  Clarke's body trembled and begged to be taken.  Clarke's pleas were answered when Lexa slipped a perfect finger deep into Clarke.

"Fuck me, Lexa.  More.  I want more."  Clarke purred, looking down at her lover.

Lexa was never on to deny her lady any request.  Lexa slipped a second and then a third slender finger into Clarke's dripping entrance.  Lexa feasted hungrily on Clarke's nectar while thrusting deep and steady into the spasming heat.  Lexa was trying to stay in the sexy moment and bring Clarke to an orgasm but there was one problem.  She hadn't quite considered the unsexy pain that the tiled floor was causing in her knees.  She had ignored it for as long as she could but her knees' screams were loud and intruding.  

Clarke's shut eyes snapped open when the heavenly feelings that were coursing through her body suddenly stopped, "What-"

"I didn't think that through.  Fuck that floor hurts.  But no worries, I have other plans."  The look that adorned Lexa's face could only be described as devilish, "Scoot back and lay down."  

Clarke was unsure of her lover's plan but she began to catch on when Lexa walked around to the side her head was on.  Clarke licked her swollen lips in anticipation of the feast that was finally hovering inches above her face.  Clarke wrapped her hands around Lexa's thighs and dipped her tongue into Lexa's ready, smoldering center.  Lexa moaned as her tongue painted Clarke's labia with the gloss coating that poured from her vagina.  Clarke's hips jerked when Lexa's tongue found her clit.  Each woman rode the others' face.  The room was filled with moans and the smell of bacon, pancakes, and sex.  The mixture was intoxicating and soon each woman was shaking, arching, and screaming in ecstasy.  Lexa extricated herself from Clarke and moved to lie next to her on the counter top.

"The counter isn't comfortable either."  Lexa laughed as she laid on her side and gingerly ran her fingers over Clarke's breasts.

"We can file that away for next time."  Clarke answered through her own laughter, "but damn that was amazing."

The pair waited a few moments before getting off of the island.  They found that cold pancakes and bacon complimented the taste of their come.  

\--

Lexa wanted to stay in bed with Clarke and never leave.  Unfortunately, real life found its way back into their bubble.  Lexa did not want to be at work.  It was torture being that close to Clarke and not being able to touch her.  Clarke felt the same way.  They stole glances at each other and text each other constantly throughout the day.  Lexa loved when she'd see the smile that would spread across Clarke's face when she would look at her phone.  

They were all sitting in the squad room waiting for further instruction.  It was always a hurry up and wait game in the Army.  Lexa was vaguely paying attention to the conversation between the junior enlisted while she did her work.  However, anytime that Clarke's voice caressed her ear she listened intently while trying to look uninterested.  

"Miller did you say you have a girlfriend."

"Ha! Yeah, her name is PALMela HANDerson."  Raven teased.  The room burst into laughter and any comeback that Miller had was cut off by the commanding voice of 1SG Indra.

"SSG Woods, Griffin, my office...now!"  Lexa's heart stopped and Clarke's body froze.

_FUCK!_

 


	11. Something smells good! (With G!P)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I apologize for the delay. Any mistakes are mine seeing as my editor (wife) is asleep. I should probably start writing these earlier in the day. Anyway, tell me what ya think. I hope you enjoy!

 

 

Lexa woke to a drooling Clark lying on her shoulder.  She smiled tenderly at the woman as she reminisced on the whirlwind that was their weekend.  So much had changed in such a short amount of time.  Lexa had tried to fight her feelings for her soldier but the heart wants what the heart wants no matter what the head says.  She had been listening to her head but her heart was steady in its fight and eventually won out.  Lexa didn't regret loving Clarke but now that their extended weekend was coming to an end she was at a loss as how to handle the out of control situation.  Anya had already declined her request to move Clarke to another platoon, "The mission comes first.  You're going to have to deal with it for right now."  She had said.  Lexa was stuck between a rock and a hard place.  Clarke moaned in her sleep and drew Lexa from her thoughts.  Lexa looked at Clarke and knew that she couldn't go back.  She couldn't pretend anymore.  Clarke had this unexplainable gravity that pulled Lexa to her, she could not escape it and she didn't want to; it was the only thing holding her to the earth.  

Lexa slowly extracted her arm from under Clarke's bed tousled hair covered head and quietly made her way down the hall to the kitchen.  Lexa wasn't a morning person but years in the Army had her waking up early even on her days off.  Trying to go back to sleep was futile.  Lexa figured if she was up she might as well make breakfast.  All of their weekend activities-well it was just one activity over and over in different positions-had depleted their energy and required as sustenance recharge.

Clarke woke up and languidly stretched her body.  She was so sore but relished the soreness and its creator.  A brief moment of panic when she realized she was alone in bed was replaced by a lazy grin when she smelled bacon and heard music coming from the kitchen.  She fought her way out of the sheet and padded to the bathroom.   

After brushing her teeth, Clarke donned a shirt of Lexa's that looked way to big for her and really old.  The word POLIS was written on the front.  Clarke could tell that some letters had been removed after many years of wear and tear.  It was big, soft, and comfy, Clarke loved it.  As she tiptoed down the hall she could her Lexa singing.

"How will I know if she really loves me? I say a prayer with every heart beat."  Clarke leaned against the wall and watched a naked Lexa singing into tongs as stood in front of the stove cooking bacon.  Clarke about jumped out of her skin when Lexa screamed as the grease splashed onto her bare skin, "AH! FUCK!"

"Maybe-" Clarke's comment was cut off by another scream as Lexa quickly spun around.

"You scared the shit out of me!"  Lexa laughed while placing her hand over her heart.

"I can tell.  I was going to say maybe you shouldn't cook bacon naked.  Although, now I'm rethinking that statement because you look delicious."  The look in Clarke's eyes sent shivers through Lexa.  

"You look good in my clothes."  Lexa commented as she hungrily eyed her lover as Clarke made her way to Lexa.

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck and gently kissed her girlfriend's lips, "You taste delicious, too."

Lexa backed Clarke up to the island and lifted her onto the counter, "As much as I want to kiss you right now, you need to stay there so I can finish making you breakfast."

Clarke waited patiently, swinging her legs while she and Lexa talked about their childhoods and anything else the wanted to know about the other.  Clarke found that she loved the sound of Lexa's morning voice and her laughter.  She would do anything to keep Lexa laughing and smiling.  Lexa loved Clarke's passion for life, her family, and her friends.  Lexa had never met anyone so full of hope and dreams.  It was refreshing.   

Lexa took a bite of the cooked bacon and laughed when Clarke complained about not getting any.  Lexa broke a small piece and walked over to Clarke.  Clarke spread her legs to allow Lexa to fit between them.  Lexa put the bacon up to Clarke's mouth and released when Clarke took the meat between her lips.  Clarke gripped Lexa's hand before she could remove it.  Lexa wasn't sure what Clarke was doing because she couldn't remove her eyes from Clarke's luscious lips.  Clarke took Lexa's finger that had held the bacon and Lexa nearly came when she felt Clarke's lips and tongue wrap around her index finger and gently suck.  

"Breakfast is ready."  Lexa mumbled, her eyes still focused on her digit between those perfect lips.  Goose bumps adorned Lexa's skin when the cold air hit the finger that Clarke had released from her mouth.

"I've been ready."  Clarke said biting her lip while pulling Lexa to her waiting mouth.  

The rise and fall of their chests were very noticeable.  Clarke moaned into Lexa's mouth as she attacked her with fervor.  Lexa's hands were gripping the oversized shirt, tugging to remove the offending garment.  Clarke's hands were wrapped in Lexa's brown tresses, keeping Lexa's mouth where she wanted it for the time being.  Clarke groaned a little when Lexa pulled her mouth from Clarke's for a moment to pull the restricting shirt from the body that Lexa craved to taste.  Lexa's hands gripped the hair at the base of Clarke's head, gently pulled Clarke's head back leaving her lips to kiss down Clarke's neck.  Lexa continued kissing down Clarke's chest and stopped at Clarke's nipples that had hardened and were standing at attention waiting for Lexa's tongue to dance over them.  Clarke gripped the edge of the counter at the contact of Lexa's warm, velvet soft tongue on her nipples.  

Clarke could feel her arousal pouring from her vagina onto her thighs.  Her clit twitched when Lexa's teeth gently teased her nipple before sucking it into her mouth.  Clarke's clit begged to be touched.  The throbbing between her legs was painfully blissful.  As much as Clarke loved the attention that was being given to her breasts, she required the attention further south.  It was like Lexa could read her thoughts...or her body, Clarke wasn't sure, but before Clarke could finish a thought about what she wanted Lexa would begin to perform the desired task.  

Lexa reluctantly removed her mouth from Clarke's body.  She gripped Clarke's thighs and moved her to the edge of the counter. Lexa's eyes were burning with lust and made Clarke's breath hitch and her heart race.  Lexa placed a brief kiss at the corner of Clarke's mouth before kneeling down in front of her.  Clarke's head fell back when Lexa's warm, wet mouth met her warm, drenched center.  Lexa lapped up every bit of essence that flowed freely from Clarke's opening.   Clarke's heels were digging into Lexa's back to help steady herself on the counter while Lexa's tongue moved in pressured circles over Clarke's clit.  Clarke's body trembled and begged to be taken.  Clarke's pleas were answered when Lexa slipped a perfect finger deep into Clarke.

"Fuck me, Lexa.  More.  I want more."  Clarke purred, looking down at her lover.

Lexa was never on to deny her lady any request.  Lexa slipped a second and then a third slender finger into Clarke's dripping entrance.  Lexa feasted hungrily on Clarke's nectar while thrusting deep and steady into the spasming heat.  Lexa was trying to stay in the sexy moment and bring Clarke to an orgasm but there was one problem.  She hadn't quite considered the unsexy pain that the tiled floor was causing in her knees.  She had ignored it for as long as she could but her knees' screams were loud and intruding.  

Clarke's shut eyes snapped open when the heavenly feelings that were coursing through her body suddenly stopped, "What-"

"I didn't think that through.  Fuck that floor hurts.  But no worries, I have other plans."  The look that adorned Lexa's face could only be described as devilish. 

Lexa lifted Clarke from the counter and slowly lowered her to stand on the floor, their bodies sliding gloriously together.  Clarke reached between them and began stroking Lexa's throbbing length.  Lexa was fully erect and Clarke shuddered at the anticipation of being filled by her.  Lexa wasted no time and Clarke quickly found herself facing away from Lexa as she pressed into Clarke's back.  Lexa gently guided Clarke forward.  Clarke's hands gripped the counter in front of her as she slightly bent forward at the waist and spread her legs.  The coldness of the counter top was a nice reprieve from the heat that was being fueled by Lexa.  She could feel Lexa's length torturously rubbing along her wet folds, coating herself in Clarke's come.  Clarke's stomach clenched as she waited to feel Lexa inside of her.  

Lexa loved that Clarke liked to try different positions.  Lexa wanted to try them all with Clarke.  Her cock pulsed in her hand as she gripped the base and tested the waters of Clarke.  Clarke pushed back into Lexa, pleading to be filled.  Lexa slowly slid her girth into Clarke's waiting entrance.  The moan that escaped Clarke's lips spurred Lexa deeper.  The silken walls that surrounded Lexa's length enticed her further.  Lexa's pace was agonizingly slow at first but it quickly picked up when Clarke began pushing back into Lexa.  Clarke arched her back to lean into Lexa but kept her hips at the same angle as to not disturb the divine feelings being produced by Lexa's hard cock.  Clarke reached up and behind her and gripped the hair at the back of Lexa's head.    Lexa's breast were pressed against Clarke's shoulder blades and Clarke's breasts were pressed into Lexa's hands.  Lexa kissed up the side of Clarke's neck as she continued to thrust up into Clarke.  When Lexa moved her right hand down the length of Clarke's abdomen to her clit and began its circular pressure pattern Clarke fell forward and leaned against the counter for support.  With every deep, powerful thrust from Lexa, Clarke's tits bounced up.  The sound of Lexa's cock pounding into Clarke's drenched pussy was an aphrodisiac to Lexa.  Her perfect ministrations coupled with the rhythm that her hips had set had Clarke's walls spasming and convulsing around her throbbing cock.  

"Fuck! Fuck! Oh, fuck! Lexa, baby, don't stop. Don't! Fucking! Stop! That's yours baby.  Own that pussy, baby."  Clarke was never one to talk dirty but Lexa brought it out in her.  "Oh God! I'm gonna-I"m coming."

Lexa didn't need Clarke to tell her, she could feel the change, but she loved hearing Clarke's prayers and confessions.  Clarke's walls clenching around Lexa's swollen cock sent her over the edge with Clarke.  Lexa gripped Clarke's shoulder with her left hand and pulled Clarke roughly to her while thrusting deep at the same time.  Clarke milked every ounce of come from Lexa that she had to offer.  Lexa collapsed onto Clarke's back as Clarke laid upper half onto the counter.   Lexa could feel the after shocks of Clarke's orgasm around her cock.  Lexa slowly pulled out and helped a shaky Clarke onto the counter and then found her way to lie beside her.  Both of their legs were like jello and neither could stand anymore and needed to lie down.  

"The counter isn't comfortable either."  Lexa laughed as she laid on her side and gingerly ran her fingers over Clarke's breasts.

"We can file that away for next time."  Clarke answered through her own laughter, "but damn that was amazing."

The pair waited a few moments before getting off of the island.  They found that cold pancakes and bacon complimented the taste of their come.  

\--

Lexa wanted to stay in bed with Clarke and never leave.  Unfortunately, real life found its way back into their bubble.  Lexa did not want to be at work.  It was torture being that close to Clarke and not being able to touch her.  Clarke felt the same way.  They stole glances at each other and text each other constantly throughout the day.  Lexa loved when she'd see the smile that would spread across Clarke's face when she would look at her phone.  

They were all sitting in the squad room waiting for further instruction.  It was always a hurry up and wait game in the Army.  Lexa was vaguely paying attention to the conversation between the junior enlisted while she did her work.  However, anytime that Clarke's voice caressed her ear she listened intently while trying to look uninterested.  

"Miller did you say you have a girlfriend."

"Ha! Yeah, her name is PALMela HANDerson."  Raven teased.  The room burst into laughter and any comeback that Miller had was cut off by the commanding voice of 1SG Indra.

"SSG Woods, Griffin, my office...now!"  Lexa's heart stopped and Clarke's body froze.

FUCK!


	12. Clandestine (Without G!P)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW. I'm not completely satisfied with it but I wanted to give you something since its been like two weeks. Hope you enjoy!

Clarke couldn't believe her ears. She literally couldn't even. When 1SG Indra had called them to her office Clarke knew, she just knew, that somehow Indra had found out.

"Sit down you two. I'm pretty sure you already know what this is about..."

Clarke was absolutely...

"Griffin, you're going to the promotion board."

...Wrong. Clarke was absolutely wrong.

"Which means that any free time you have, SSG Woods, will be spent with Griffin helping her study for the board. We need more team leaders and since we are deploying soon it will be great if we can get you promoted before we deploy so that your team can train with you before we leave."

Lexa's anxiety plummeted. She was certain that her career was about to end and then in a marvelous turn of events she had just been given permission to spend all of her time with the one person that she wanted to spend all of her time. It took everything within Lexa to not look at Clarke in surprise. She couldn't believe her extraordinary luck. Lexa could hear Indra talking in the background but all she could focus on was all the sexy ways that she was going to help Clarke "study".

On the outside Clarke looked like the typical uninterested Specialist but on the inside she was dancing for joy. It was the best of both worlds for her. She was going to be getting promoted and she was going to be spending a lot of time with the very sexy staff sergeant.

\--

Raven and Octavia were panicking on the inside.  Their peers noticed that they were unusually quiet and they were pretty sure that even though Raven and Octavia were sitting right next to each other, they were texting each other.  Lincoln and Monty had long since learned to ignore their weird antics.  They were trying to come up with a plan when the source of their anxiety came back into the room.

"Wait.  She looks...is that a smile?"  Raven asked no one in particular.  "She's smiling!  I'm over here having a stroke and she's smiling.  This bitch."

"Did you just call me a bitch?"  Clarke asked Raven but was answered by Octavia.

"You're damn right we did.  You could have sent us a text telling us not to worry.  What happened?  What was that all about?  What-"

"Chill with the Spanish Inquisition, O.  Indra just wanted to talk to us about me going to the promotion board and that Lex...SSG Woods is going to have to help me study.  Like every free minute studying together; in my room, her house, her car, my car...just study, study, study."  Clarke finished with a cheshire grin.  

"Sometimes I hate you.  You have all the good luck."

"I have to agree with O.  You go sit over there by Monty.  We can't talk to you when you're being like this."

"I love you too guys.  Now what what did I miss?"

 "You missed that I'm serious.  Go sit with Monty.  You're in time out for making us worry."  Raven said with a stern look that Clarke had seen a few times.  She knew Raven was joking.  Clarke did feel a little bad.  She could have sent them a text not to worry but honestly she was so freaked out and then surprised that it didn't even cross her mind.  Clarke got up to walk to the other side of the room but was stopped by a hand on her arm.

"I'm kidding but you owe us lunch. We want Arby's." Octavia gave one firm head nod to Raven's request.  Clarke couldn't help but laugh at her friends.  What would she do without them.

\--

Lexa was still reeling from her impromptu meeting earlier that day when she ran into Costia.  Costia looked super worried and Lexa had to laugh at the turn of events.

"Well...?"  Costia impatiently asked.

"Well what?"

"Don't play stupid, Woods.  You know what I'm asking."  Costia said crossing her arms.

"Geez a little high strung today, aren't we."  Lexa's nonchalant smile didn't deter Costia.  Lexa laughed as she recounted the earlier events.  

"You need to be careful." 

"I know, I...what?"  Lexa asked when Costia's focus went to somewhere just behind Lexa.  Lexa turned around and was graced with the vision of Clarke sauntering down the hall towards them.  Lexa couldn't turn away, thank God no one else was in the hallway.

"Good evening SSG Woods, SSG Greene."  Clarke sweetly stated to both but her eyes never left Lexa's.  Clarke seductively bit her bottom lip as she continued past them.  

"You're playing with fire."  Costia said aloud to both.  Her smile belayed any seriousness the tone of her voice may have carried.  Costia watched Lexa watch Clarke as she walked down the hall to the restroom.  

Lexa's breath was ragged, her heart beat was racing, and her clit was twitching.  She was certain that Clarke was teasing her with the extra sway of her hips as she walked away.  Lexa's lips needed to feel Clarke's.  Clarke had an amazing effect on Lexa but it was causing her to be careless but at that moment she didn't care.

"I need to-" Lexa started to say to Costia.

"Yeah, yeah.  Be careful."  Costia rolled her eyes and walked away. 

Lexa hesitated, licked her lips, and then made up her mind.  The company building was fairly empty since it was the end of the work day.  They had foregone a formation and sent everyone home.  She liked her odds.

\--

Clarke just had to.  She couldn't walk past Lexa and not tease her with what she couldn't touch.  Clarke smiled at herself in the mirror as she washed her hands.  She couldn't remember ever being this happy in a relationship.  Clarke jumped as the bathroom door swung open and banged against the wall.

"Oh shit."  Lexa said as she ducked out of the way.  "I didn't mean for it to slam against the wall."

"You scared the shit out of me."

"Well, you're in the perfect place for that to happen."  Lexa smiled as she walked towards Clarke.  Her eyes never left the blonde's.  Lexa held her finger to her lips signaling for Clarke to remain quiet.  Lexa pushed every stall door open to assure that they were alone and then walked back to Clarke.

"You have a devilish look in your eyes, SSSG Woods.  If I didn't know any better I'd think-"  

Clarke's words were cut off by Lexa's hand on her wrist pulling her into the furthest stall which happened to be the handicap.  Clarke found herself pressed firmly against the wall and Lexa's lips on hers.  Lexa's hands travelled across Clarke's chest and her lips to Clarke's neck.

"Lexa, if you keep doing that you are going to have to fuck me."  Clarke breathed in Lexa's ear.  Clarke's head feel back when she felt Lexa moan into her collarbone and her hands slide down to her belt.  Clarke's breath hitched.  She knew that what they were doing where they were doing it was a bad idea but with Lexa's hands unbuttoning her uniform pants her brain's warning was drowned out by her clit's screams.

Lexa had one thing on her mind: Clarke.  She needed to feel Clarke.  She couldn't resist her Siren's call.  Had Clarke's pull not been so strong Lexa might have been thinking clearly.  All Lexa could think about was feeling Clarke around her.  Her movements were rushed and frantic and the small voice that broke through the chaos told her to slow down.  Lexa pulled her head back a little to look Clarke in the eyes as her fingers slid beneath the band of Clarke's undies.  She relished the feeling of the small patch of stubble that Lexa knew was in the shape of a star.   _Just like the North Star, use it to lead you home._ Clarke had previously told her.  The roughness sliding against her hand sent shivers and tingles through Lexa.  Lexa, or maybe it was Clarke, moaned when Lexa's fingers found Clarke's warm, drenched center.   _  
_

Lexa could feel her clit jumping, wanting to be caressed. Her arousal coated the inside of her thighs.  Lexa could swear that her clit could feel every circle of her fingers over Clarke's clit.  She was throbbing and every little moan from Clarke made her throb harder.  She kissed Clarke as she entered her.  Lexa's kiss moved to the corner of Clarke's mouth as Clarke opened it to release a quiet breathy moan.

Clarke wished Lexa's brown, wavy mane was down so she could wrap her fingers in it but it wasn't so she settled for gripping the back of Lexa's neck as she road Lexa's hand.  She loved the feeling of Lexa's long, slender fingers gliding through her slick folds and entering her with every thrust of her hips.  

"Shhh baby. You have to be quiet."  Lexa whispered in Clarke's ear as she placed her hand over Clarke's mouth.  Clarke's moans were getting louder and louder the closer she got to her orgasm.  

Lexa loved how Clarke's walls pulled her in further, like she couldn't get enough.  The ridges of Clarke's walls were a map that led to one place, Clarke's climax.  Lexa could feel Clarke begin fluttering spastically around her fingers.  Clarke's trusts became frantic, she gripped the rail that she was leaning on, and she bit down on Lexa's fingers to keep from screaming out as her orgasm hit her with force.  Lexa kept pumping in and out helping Clarke ride out her orgasm. 

"I love that you're mine and I'm yours and that I get to kiss you and touch you anytime I want to.  Granted I would have preferred your room or my house but I gotta take advantage of every opportunity I get."  Lexa confessed before tenderly kissing her girlfriend.  Lexa could feel the tiny aftershocks deep in Clarke.  She slowly removed her fingers from Clarke's entrance and brought the soaked fingers to her mouth.  Before Lexa could put them in her mouth Clarke had moved Lexa's hand to her own mouth and sucked her own essence from Lexa's fingers.  Lexa's mouth hung open as she watched the most sexy thing she had ever seen.  Clarke slowly removed Lexa's fingers from her mouth and licked her lips before crashing them to Lexa's.  Lexa could taste Clarke's come as their tongues intertwined. 

Clarke couldn't deny her bodies need to touch Lexa any longer.  Her hands were moving to Lexa's belt when the bathroom door creaked open. Both women's eyes were as wide as saucers.  Lexa, thinking fast on her feet, gripped Clarke's thighs and lifted her up so that her feet wouldn't be seen in the same stall.  Their eyes darted from side to side as they listened for anything that might clue them into if the unwanted bathroom patron had any idea of what was going on three stalls down from them.

 _Oh my God, longest pee'er ever!_ Lexa thought to herself as she gripped Clarke tighter.  Now that the need for Clarke wasn't clouding Lexa's judgement she was mentally kicking herself for allowing them to get into the situation that they were in.  Whoever it was that was in there with them was taking a long time to leave so Lexa had to do something fast or risk being caught.  She flushed the toilet to hide any sound that might be made by lowering Clarke to stand on the toilet.  She mouthed to Clarke to stay there for a few minutes after she left the bathroom.  Lexa quickly kissed Clarke, took a deep breath, and stepped out of the stall.  She hoped she didn't smell like come when she saw Anya standing at the sink fixing her hair.

"You're still here."  Lexa asked trying not to be suspicious.

"Yeah, had to finish up some paperwork but I'm leaving now.  Did you finish those counseling statements?"

 _Fuck I forgot._ "No, but I'm almost done."  

"They need to be done before you leave today."  Anya walked to the door and held it open, "Well, are you coming?"  She asked when Lexa didn't move.

Clarke released the breath she had been holding when she heard the door close.  She cleaned herself up and left the bathroom.  She was about to head to her room and text Lexa when she noticed the squad room light on.  As she drew closer to the door she could hear the sound of typing.  When she peered in she could see Lexa squinting at the computer screen.  No one else was in the room.

"Forget your glasses?"  Clarke asked as she entered the room.

"Yeah, I forgot I had to do these stupid counseling statements.  I'm going to be here until like eight so no studying for us tonight."

"Are you the only one here?" Clarke asked as she shut the door.  She walked towards Lexa while slowly unzipping her uniform blouse.

"Yes.  Wha...what are you doing."  All the moisture had left Lexa's mouth and was now dripping from her center.  

"Finishing what you started."  Clarke said as she sat on the edge of the desk in front of Lexa.  Clarke's back was to the door as she kneeled in front of Lexa.

Lexa's eyes were focused on Clarke's hands that were undoing Lexa's belt and buttons, "We shouldn't, not here." Lexa lifted slightly from the chair to allow Clarke to pull her pants down.  Clarke pulled Lexa's hips towards the edge of the chair and pushed Lexa's knees apart.  Lexa felt open and exposed to Clarke.  The thought that they could be caught was scary and exhilarating.  

Clarke licked her lips.  She was very pleased with sight before her.  An oasis of sorts between Lexa's thighs.  She couldn't wait to drink freely from it, "You're right but we are going to."

Lexa's eyes rolled to the back when Clarke's tongue touched her clit.  Clarke loved the way Lexa tasted.  The sweetness that glazed her tongue made Clarke want to drink from Lexa forever.  The firmness and motion of Clarke's tongue had Lexa pushing into Clarke's mouth.  Clarke's hands ran up and down Lexa' thighs and Lexa's hand was holding Clarke's head firmly to her as the other hand pinched and rubbed her own nipples.  

"Fuck me, Clarke."  Lexa begged.

Clarke would never deny Lexa what she wanted.  She brought her fingers to Lexa's center and rubbed them in Lexa's come before sliding one digit in and then another.  Clarke's rhythm of her tongue and fingers were in perfect sync.  Lexa tightened around Clarke's finger trying to pull them deep into her.  She wanted to be filled by Clarke.  She could never get enough of her.   With every thrust Clarke gripped Lexa's walls with her fingertips sending tingling sensations through Lexa.  Lexa wanted to wrap her legs around Clarke but the pants wrapped around her ankles prevented her.  Lexa was shamelessly riding Clarke's mouth and fingers.  Lexa could feel the orgasm building in her lower abdomen.  The sensation in her clit was causing her hips to buck, Lexa had no control over them.  The heat was raging inside Lexa and was about to explode.

"I'm gonna come, Clarke."  Lexa whispered.

"Come in my mouth, baby."  Clarke demanded.  

"Ah fuck!"  Lexa harshly whispered as her body began to shake and convulse.

Lexa collapsed back into her chair as she tried to catch her breath and slow her heart beat.  Clarke's face was coated in Lexa's come.  Lexa pulled Clarke to her and placed a languid kiss on her lips.  

"We gotta stop meeting like this.  We're going to get-"  Lexa stopped mid sentence when she heard CQ walking down the hall checking all of the doors, "Fuck, straighten yourself up!"  Lexa and Clarke had never moved so fast in their life.  Clarke put her blouse back on and wiped her mouth while Lexa pulled up her pants and threw a book at Clarke.  Milliseconds after they had settled into their seats the door opened.  

"Well, what do we have here?"  SSG Wallace asked.  His voice was dripping with disdain.

"Studying for the board, so if you'll excuse us."  Lexa said impatiently as Clarke lifted up the book that had been thrown at her only moments before.

SSG Wallace lifted his nose into the air and inhaled deeply, "I bet."  He eyed the pair for a moment before shutting the door.

"I didn't like the look he had in his eyes."  Lexa said with concern.

"Thank God he didn't look any closer.  You gave me  _Chicken Soup for the Soul._ Whose book is this anyway?"  Clarke laughed. _  
_

"I have no idea.  It was the closest book to me.  It worked and that's all that matters."  Lexa looked shyly at Clarke, "Stay with me until I'm done?"

Clarke's smile could have brightened up the night sky, "There isn't anywhere else I'd rather be."

 

 


	13. Clandestine (With G!P)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW. If you aren't down for Clarke swallowing then I would not read this. Sorry for the delay. Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think!

Clarke couldn't believe her ears. She literally couldn't even. When 1SG Indra had called them to her office Clarke knew, she just knew, that somehow Indra had found out.

"Sit down you two. I'm pretty sure you already know what this is about..."

Clarke was absolutely...

"Griffin, you're going to the promotion board."

...Wrong. Clarke was absolutely wrong.

"Which means that any free time you have, SSG Woods, will be spent with Griffin helping her study for the board. We need more team leaders and since we are deploying soon it will be great if we can get you promoted before we deploy so that your team can train with you before we leave."

Lexa's anxiety plummeted. She was certain that her career was about to end and then in a marvelous turn of events she had just been given permission to spend all of her time with the one person that she wanted to spend all of her time. It took everything within Lexa to not look at Clarke in surprise. She couldn't believe her extraordinary luck. Lexa could hear Indra talking in the background but all she could focus on was all the sexy ways that she was going to help Clarke "study".

On the outside Clarke looked like the typical uninterested Specialist but on the inside she was dancing for joy. It was the best of both worlds for her. She was going to be getting promoted and she was going to be spending a lot of time with the very sexy staff sergeant.

\--

Raven and Octavia were panicking on the inside.  Their peers noticed that they were unusually quiet and they were pretty sure that even though Raven and Octavia were sitting right next to each other, they were texting each other.  Lincoln and Monty had long since learned to ignore their weird antics.  They were trying to come up with a plan when the source of their anxiety came back into the room.

"Wait.  She looks...is that a smile?"  Raven asked no one in particular.  "She's smiling!  I'm over here having a stroke and she's smiling.  This bitch."

"Did you just call me a bitch?"  Clarke asked Raven but was answered by Octavia.

"You're damn right we did.  You could have sent us a text telling us not to worry.  What happened?  What was that all about?  What-"

"Chill with the Spanish Inquisition, O.  Indra just wanted to talk to us about me going to the promotion board and that Lex...SSG Woods is going to have to help me study.  Like every free minute studying together; in my room, her house, her car, my car...just study, study, study."  Clarke finished with a cheshire grin.  

"Sometimes I hate you.  You have all the good luck."

"I have to agree with O.  You go sit over there by Monty.  We can't talk to you when you're being like this."

"I love you too guys.  Now what what did I miss?"

 "You missed that I'm serious.  Go sit with Monty.  You're in time out for making us worry."  Raven said with a stern look that Clarke had seen a few times.  She knew Raven was joking.  Clarke did feel a little bad.  She could have sent them a text not to worry but honestly she was so freaked out and then surprised that it didn't even cross her mind.  Clarke got up to walk to the other side of the room but was stopped by a hand on her arm.

"I'm kidding but you owe us lunch. We want Arby's." Octavia gave one firm head nod to Raven's request.  Clarke couldn't help but laugh at her friends.  What would she do without them.

\--

Lexa was still reeling from her impromptu meeting earlier that day when she ran into Costia.  Costia looked super worried and Lexa had to laugh at the turn of events.

"Well...?"  Costia impatiently asked.

"Well what?"

"Don't play stupid, Woods.  You know what I'm asking."  Costia said crossing her arms.

"Geez a little high strung today, aren't we."  Lexa's nonchalant smile didn't deter Costia.  Lexa laughed as she recounted the earlier events.  

"You need to be careful." 

"I know, I...what?"  Lexa asked when Costia's focus went to somewhere just behind Lexa.  Lexa turned around and was graced with the vision of Clarke sauntering down the hall towards them.  Lexa couldn't turn away, thank God no one else was in the hallway.

"Good evening SSG Woods, SSG Greene."  Clarke sweetly stated to both but her eyes never left Lexa's.  Clarke seductively bit her bottom lip as she continued past them.  

"You're playing with fire."  Costia said aloud to both.  Her smile belayed any seriousness the tone of her voice may have carried.  Costia watched Lexa watch Clarke as she walked down the hall to the restroom.  

Lexa's breath was ragged, her heart beat was racing, and her clit was twitching.  She was certain that Clarke was teasing her with the extra sway of her hips as she walked away.  Lexa's lips needed to feel Clarke's.  Clarke had an amazing effect on Lexa but it was causing her to be careless but at that moment she didn't care.

"I need to-" Lexa started to say to Costia.

"Yeah, yeah.  Be careful."  Costia rolled her eyes and walked away. 

Lexa hesitated, licked her lips, and then made up her mind.  The company building was fairly empty since it was the end of the work day.  They had foregone a formation and sent everyone home.  She liked her odds.

\--

Clarke just had to.  She couldn't walk past Lexa and not tease her with what she couldn't touch.  Clarke smiled at herself in the mirror as she washed her hands.  She couldn't remember ever being this happy in a relationship.  Clarke jumped as the bathroom door swung open and banged against the wall.

"Oh shit."  Lexa said as she ducked out of the way.  "I didn't mean for it to slam against the wall."

"You scared the shit out of me."

"Well, you're in the perfect place for that to happen."  Lexa smiled as she walked towards Clarke.  Her eyes never left the blonde's.  Lexa held her finger to her lips signaling for Clarke to remain quiet.  Lexa pushed every stall door open to assure that they were alone and then walked back to Clarke.

"You have a devilish look in your eyes, SSG Woods.  If I didn't know any better I'd think-"  

Clarke's words were cut off by Lexa's hand on her wrist pulling her into the furthest stall which happened to be the handicap.  Clarke found herself pressed firmly against the wall and Lexa's lips on hers.  Lexa's hands travelled across Clarke's chest and her lips to Clarke's neck.

"Lexa, if you keep doing that you are going to have to fuck me."  Clarke breathed in Lexa's ear.  Clarke's head feel back when she felt Lexa moan into her collarbone and her hands slide down to her belt.  Clarke's breath hitched.  She knew that what they were doing where they were doing it was a bad idea but with Lexa's hands unbuttoning her uniform pants her brain's warning was drowned out by her clit's screams.

Lexa had one thing on her mind: Clarke.  She needed to feel Clarke.  She couldn't resist her Siren's call.  Had Clarke's pull not been so strong Lexa might have been thinking clearly.  All Lexa could think about was feeling Clarke around her.  Her movements were rushed and frantic and the small voice that broke through the chaos told her to slow down.  Lexa pulled her head back a little to look Clarke in the eyes as her fingers slid beneath the band of Clarke's undies.  She relished the feeling of the small patch of stubble that Lexa knew was in the shape of a star.  Just like the North Star, use it to lead you home.  Clarke had previously told her.  The roughness sliding against her hand sent shivers and tingles through Lexa.  Lexa, or maybe it was Clarke, moaned when Lexa's fingers found Clarke's warm, drenched center.  

"Why can't I resist you?"  Lexa whispered into Clarke's open mouth. 

Lexa could feel the magical pressure building in her cock, wanting to be caressed.  Lexa could swear that every circle of her fingers over Clarke's clit was like a stroke of her own cock.  She was throbbing and every little moan from Clarke made her throb harder, her large member getting harder with every thrust from Clarke.  She kissed Clarke as her fingers entered Clarke.  Lexa's kiss moved to the corner of Clarke's mouth as Clarke opened it to release a quiet breathy moan.

Clarke wished Lexa's brown, wavy mane was down so she could wrap her fingers in it but it wasn't so she settled for gripping the back of Lexa's neck as she road Lexa's hand.  She loved the feeling of Lexa's long, slender fingers gliding through her slick folds and entering her with every thrust of her hips.  

"Shhh baby. You have to be quiet."  Lexa whispered in Clarke's ear as she placed her hand over Clarke's mouth.  Clarke's moans were getting louder and louder the closer she got to her orgasm.  

Lexa loved how Clarke's walls pulled her in further, like she couldn't get enough.  The ridges of Clarke's walls were a map that led to one place, Clarke's climax.  Lexa could feel Clarke begin fluttering spastically around her fingers.  Clarke's trusts became frantic, she gripped the rail that she was leaning on, and she bit down on Lexa's fingers to keep from screaming out as her orgasm hit her with force.  Lexa kept pumping in and out helping Clarke ride out her orgasm.   

"I love that you're mine and I'm yours and that I get to kiss you and touch you anytime I want to.  Granted I would have preferred your room or my house but I gotta take advantage of every opportunity I get."  Lexa confessed before tenderly kissing her girlfriend.  Lexa could feel the tiny aftershocks deep in Clarke.  She slowly removed her fingers from Clarke's entrance and brought the soaked fingers to her mouth.  Before Lexa could put them in her mouth Clarke had moved Lexa's hand to her own mouth and sucked her own essence from Lexa's fingers.  Lexa's mouth hung open as she watched the most sexy thing she had ever seen.  Clarke slowly removed Lexa's fingers from her mouth and licked her lips before crashing them to Lexa's.  Lexa could taste Clarke's come as their tongues intertwined. 

Clarke couldn't deny her bodies need to feel Lexa's bulging cock deep inside her any longer.  Her hands were moving to Lexa's belt when the bathroom door creaked open. Both women's eyes were as wide as saucers.  Lexa, thinking fast on her feet, gripped Clarke's thighs and lifted her up so that her feet wouldn't be seen in the same stall.  Clarke's legs wrapped around Lexa's hips.  Their eyes darted from side to side as they listened for anything that might clue them into if the unwanted bathroom patron had any idea of what was going on three stalls down from them.  Clarke couldn't help but grind down onto Lexa's extended member.  For the second time in less than five minutes, Clarke's eyes were rolling back and her clit was twitching.  Lexa tried to keep from moaning at the friction that Clarke was causing.  Lexa quietly swatted Clarke's ass, telling her to cut it out.  Clarke innocently grinned at her.

_Oh my God, longest pee'er ever!_  Lexa thought to herself as she gripped Clarke tighter.  She was mentally kicking herself for allowing them to get into the situation that they were in.  Whoever it was that was in there with them was taking a long time to leave so Lexa had to do something fast or risk being caught.  She flushed the toilet to hide any sound that might be made by lowering Clarke to stand on the toilet.  She mouthed to Clarke to stay there for a few minutes after she left the bathroom.  Lexa quickly kissed Clarke, took a deep breath, adjusted her hard on so it wasn't saluting, and stepped out of the stall.  She hoped she didn't smell like come when she saw Anya standing at the sink fixing her hair.

"You're still here."  Lexa asked trying not to be suspicious.

"Yeah, had to finish up some paperwork but I'm leaving now.  Did you finish those counseling statements?"

Fuck I forgot.  "No, but I'm almost done."  

"They need to be done before you leave today."  Anya walked to the door and held it open, "Well, are you coming?"  She asked when Lexa didn't move.

Clarke released the breath she had been holding when she heard the door close.  She cleaned herself up and left the bathroom.  She was about to head to her room and text Lexa when she noticed the squad room light on.  As she drew closer to the door she could hear the sound of typing.  When she peered in she could see Lexa squinting at the computer screen.  No one else was in the room.

"Forget your glasses?"  Clarke asked as she entered the room.

"Yeah, I forgot I had to do these stupid counseling statements.  I'm going to be here until like eight so no studying for us tonight."

"Are you the only one here?" Clarke asked as she shut the door.  She walked towards Lexa while slowly unzipping her uniform blouse.

"Yes.  Wha...what are you doing."  All the moisture had left Lexa's mouth and was added to the liquid filling her shaft.  

"Finishing what you started."  Clarke said as she sat on the edge of the desk in front of Lexa.  Clarke's back was to the door as she kneeled in front of Lexa.

Lexa's eyes were focused on Clarke's hands that were undoing Lexa's belt and buttons, "We shouldn't, not here." Lexa lifted slightly from the chair to allow Clarke to pull her pants down, freeing the beast that Lexa had caged.  Clarke pulled Lexa's hips towards the edge of the chair and pushed Lexa's knees apart.  Lexa felt open and exposed to Clarke.  The thought that they could be caught was scary and exhilarating.  

Clarke licked her lips.  She was very pleased with sight before her, "You're right but we are going to."  

Lexa's eyes rolled to the back when Clarke's tongue touched the head of her cock, swirling around as her hand began stroking Lexa's shaft. The warm, wet, softness of Clarke's mouth had Lexa pushing into Clarke's mouth.  Lexa's hand was holding Clarke's head while it bobbed up and down as her other hand pinched and rubbed her own nipples.  

"Fuck, Clarke.  Just like that.  Don't stop."  Lexa begged.

Clarke would never deny Lexa what she wanted.  Clarke cupped the underside of Lexa's cock with her tongue as she sucked all of Lexa into her mouth, her lips touching Lexa's pelvis.  Clarke's lack of gag reflex was a huge turn on for Lexa.  Clarke could suck her deep and fast.  Just the thought made Lexa want to come.   The rhythm of Clarke's tongue and strokes were in perfect sync, she didn't really need her hands but felt it just added to the pleasure.  Lexa could feel the come building in her shaft.  The tingling sensation in cock and low in her abdomen was getting stronger and stronger.  Clarke removed her mouth, eliciting a whimper form Lexa.  Clarke smiled at the pouting Lexa before licking the underside of Lexa's cock from base to tip.  The pre come that was escaping her tip was greedily drank in by Clarke.  She could never get enough of her.  Clarke held Lexa's eyes as she slowly slid her mouth down Lexa's cock, devouring it all.  Lexa could no longer control herself, shamelessly thrusting into Clarke's eager mouth.  Lexa could feel the orgasm building in her lower abdomen.  The heat was raging inside Lexa and was about to explode.

"I'm gonna come, Clarke."  Lexa whispered.

"Come in my mouth, baby."  Clarke demanded.  

"Ah fuck!"  Lexa harshly whispered as her body began to shake and convulse, Clarke's demand sending her over the edge.

Lexa's grip tightened as she jerked, spurting her come into Clarke's waiting mouth.  Lexa had never came in anyones mouth until then and she swore that she had died and gone to heaven.  Clarke could feel the warm liquid squirting into her mouth and swallowed ever bit that Lexa gave her.  She knew how it affected Lexa and for her she would do it every time.  When Lexa was finished, Clarke removed her mouth from Lexa's cock and sat back on her feet.    

"We gotta stop meeting like this.  We're going to get-"  Lexa stopped mid sentence when she heard CQ officer walking down the hall checking all of the doors, "Fuck, straighten yourself up!"  Lexa and Clarke had never moved so fast in their life.  Clarke put her blouse back on and wiped her mouth while Lexa pulled up her pants and threw a book at Clarke.  Milliseconds after they had settled into their seats the door opened.  

"Well, what do we have here?"  SSG Wallace asked.  His voice was dripping with disdain.

"Studying for the board, so if you'll excuse us."  Lexa said impatiently as Clarke lifted up the book that had been thrown at her only moments before.

SSG Wallace lifted his nose into the air and inhaled deeply, "I bet."  He eyed the pair for a moment before shutting the door.

"I didn't like the look he had in his eyes."  Lexa said with concern.

"Thank God he didn't look any closer.  You gave me  _Chicken Soup for the Soul_.  Whose book is this anyway?"  Clarke laughed.

"I have no idea.  It was the closest book to me.  It worked and that's all that matters."  Lexa looked shyly at Clarke, "Stay with me until I'm done?"

Clarke's smile could have brightened up the night sky, "There isn't anywhere else I'd rather be."


	14. Chills and Thrills (Without G!P)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adulting is really effin up my writing. I'm sorry it's been so long. Hopefully you enjoy this. Let me know what you think and if you have any questions just let me know. I posted a video on my tumblr of when I was in Korea. It's a stupid video from 2005 but it shows what a Motor Pool is and what the Conex is. So if you are confused just check it out.  
> Follow me on tumbler whiskeytangofoxtrot_over

"Fricking, fracking, fuck!  How many times do we have to lay out this gaht-damn equipment?  I'm freezing my balls off!"  Raven complained as she stood up from her seat on the concrete.  

"Seriously!  I have paint all over my phalanges."  Octavia pouted as she wiggled her fingers.

"You don't have balls."  Lincoln stated matter-of-factly.

"I do, on my chest." Raven playfully retorted while palming her boobs, "Unlike you, who has them in your mouth." 

"Yeah, mine in his mouth."  Octavia said, coming to the aide of her beau.

"Are you fools done? A disheveled Clarke huffed as she tripped out of the conex, "Let's get this done.  I have...to get some studying in before it gets super late."  Raven and Octavia rolled their eyes; Lincoln and Monty were blissfully unaware as usual.

Every junior enlisted soldier thought that conex layouts were a waste of time; something the higher ups used to keep them busy.  Conex layouts consisted of pulling all the equipment out, laying it out by platoon, counting it, sometimes cleaning it and/or painting it, and then putting it away.  It was a lot of equipment.  The trio hated it!  However, with deployment approaching they knew this time it was something that had to be done...they just didn't want to be the ones to do it.  Clarke had tried to persuade Lexa to give them something else to do but to no avail.

"We all did it when we were your rank, now it's your turn.  Love you!"  Lexa had said to Clarke on the phone.

So there they were.  Raven, Octavia, and Clarke, along with Lincoln and Monty, hungry, hands covered in spray paint, and freezing.  The long day was finally ending, all they had left was to put everything away.  

"I say we let these _big, bulging, beastly_ men we have here," Raven said pointing to Lincoln and Monty, "put the stuff away.  You know, since you guys have those big muscles and stuff."

Monty's grin was from ear to ear as he stepped forward to pick up items.  He was halted by Lincoln's left backhand to the chest, "What?" He asked Lincoln who was looking at the girls with an unimpressed expression.

"Don't fall for it, Monty.  Raven is a master manipulator who has, apparently, been watching _Christmas Vacation_."

"Three things:

A. That is an amazing movie so don't judge me.

2\. Monty don't let Lincoln make you feel like you aren't as strong and

D. Yes, I've been watching _Home Alone_ , too!"

"Yeah, bro, I'm strong. Check out my guns."  Monty flexed both of his arms.

"Whoa there killa, put those BB guns away."  Octavia laughed at the sight before her.

"Yeah, you'll shoot your eye out kid!"  Raven laughed but stopped when she realized no one else was laughing, "Geez, tough crowd.  Last Christmas movie reference...promise."

 

\--

 

Cage Wallace glared at Clarke Griffin from across the Motor Pool.  He knew something was going on between her and Lexa.  He could feel it in his bones.  Cage was a patient man.  He didn't care how long it took he would find a way to destroy Lexa Woods and if he just so happened to destroy "that Griffin Bitch" in the process then it would just make the victory even more sweeter.  They would slip eventually and when they did he would be there to catch them...and then drop them.

SSG Wallace sneered before turning his focus to his squad, "Let's go, Privates! We don't have all fucking day."

 

\--

 

Lexa was pretty sure she would get hell from Clarke for sending her to the Motor Pool but she also knew Clarke would get over it.  After all, they were still in the Army and they still had their jobs to do.  So far their relationship hadn't complicated that aspect and Lexa was glad.  Lexa looked up from her computer when she heard movement at the doorway of her office.

"All I'm saying is that you guys could have been more appreciative of my masterfully placed movie lines."  Raven said to the group as they walked into the squad room.

"I'd be more impressed if you could go any length of time without talking."  Monty replied

"I do, when i'm going down on your girl."  Raven responded.

"Jokes on you! I don't have a girl."  

"Or a boy."  Raven was on a roll.

Monty paused for a moment and then mumbled to himself, "Shit. My life sucks."

Clarke leaned forward to whisper into Monty's ear, "I'm sure you could have one because Miller hasn't taken his eyes off of you."

Monty shyly smiled as he made eye contact with the man that was sitting by Sgt Jasper's desk.

"Reyes, that's not appropriate for the workplace."  Lexa scolded Raven.  Clarke loved when Lexa went all Staff Sergeant.  She found it extremely sexy.  

"It's legal now, SSG.  Don't Ask, Don't Tell is repealed.  We will not be oppressed!"  Raven gave her passionate speech, complete with a clinched fist in the air.  

"How does two hundred burpees sound?"  Lexa asked.

"Oppress away, SSG."  Raven said quickly while taking a seat just as quickly.

"Thought so.  I'm guessing since you all are back that everything is finished."  When everyone nodded in the affirmative she released them for the day.  Lexa was tired and just wanted to cuddle up with the blonde in front of her.

The closer they got to their deployment date the longer the days got for all of them.  There was so much stuff that needed to be done before they stepped onto the big steel bird that would carry them thousands of miles from their homes to their possible demise.  Lexa remembered being eighteen and having to meet with an Army lawyer to write her will.  That's something that was not normally on the minds of teenagers but there she was with the rest of her unit planning for if they never came back.  

That had been her first deployment.  Gustus had been on his fourth.  He was Lexa's team leader.  He had taught her everything.  Lexa viewed him as more than her squad leader.  He had been a friend, a father figure.  When he died Lexa took it hard.  She didn't know how she would survive if Clarke was taken from her.  Lexa didn't like thinking about it but she couldn't stop.  Her dreams were now nightmares.  Nightmares of Clarke's screams and bleeding.  

"You okay?"  Jasper asked as he watched Lexa roughly rub her face.  He had noted that she looked exhausted.  

"Yeah, I think I'm going to call it a night.  I'm so tired that I can't think straight."  With her goodnights said, Lexa made her way to her car and texted Clarke, who was already at Lexa's house.

 

\--

 

"I'm scared.  I knew it was a huge possibility that I would deploy but I don't think I thought it would actually happen.  Pretty naive, huh?" Clarke asked Lexa as they laid on their sides, facing each other in Lexa's bed after a particularly long love making session.

"No, I think when we are young we think we are invincible and have the 'it won't happen to me' attitude.  It's okay to be scared.  If you aren't then I would think that maybe something was wrong with you."  Lexa winked at her.  

"Are you scared?" 

"About deploying?" Lexa's eyes followed her fingers as they traced over Clarke's smooth skin.

"Yeah, I mean I know you've deployed before but are you..."

"Yes and no. Whatever happens to me, happens to me. This time, though, you'll be there and I think I'm more scared of something happening to you than I am of it happening to me. War is a scary thing and some don't come back." Lexa paused as she thought about her last deployment, the one Gustus didn't return from. "That is what scares me most; losing you."

Lexa's eyes met Clarke's and Clarke could see the depths of emotion pooling in them. She traced Lexa's lips with the pad of her thumb before replacing it with her lips briefly before pulling back to look at Lexa.

"You won't lose me."  Clarke confessed as she placed her hand over Lexa's heart.

Lexa wanted to believe that but war was no respecter of persons; it was an equal opportunity killer. She had learned that the hard way. Lexa moved her left hand to cup Clarke's cheek as her eyes roamed over Clarke's face. The moon was shinning through Lexa's bedroom window and casting a celestial glow on Clarke. Lexa never wanted that moment to end. She wanted to forever hold on to that image of Clarke. Clarke gently pushed Lexa onto her back as she moved herself to hover over Lexa. Clarke's hair curtained around Lexa's face as she peered down at Lexa.

"I promise." Clarke uttered before kissing Lexa deeply, setting in motion another round of love making.

Who needed sleep?  Not them.

 

\--

 

The following morning found them exhausted while trying to do PT.  Exhausted but completely satisfied and unbelievably happy.  Clarke was kneeling on Lexa's feet with her hands on Lexa's knees as Lexa did sit-ups.  Clarke looked around to ensure everyone else was paying attention to their own partner before she began tenderly caressing Lexa's knees, sometimes dipping to touch her thighs.  Lexa's frustrated growl made Clarke giggle.  Clarke couldn't help it, she had to touch Lexa.  When they switched places Lexa's eyes were glued to where Clarke's PT shorts had opened to expose Clarke's panty covered center.  Lexa knowledge of what was hidden by the offending garment caused the familiar stirring in Lexa.  Clarke was smirking at a distracted Lexa when Octavia pulled them out of their own little world.

"Clarke, you've done like two hundred sit-ups.  We were only doing fifty.  You guys suck at this.  Get your shit together.  Also, why do we have to wear PT shorts with a PT long sleeve shirt and a PT jacket.  That makes no sense to me!"

"Preach it, Snow Blake! I'm freezing!"  Raven stated, her teeth chattering.

Lexa blushed when she realized how distracted she had gotten.  Luckily she could blame it on the cold.  She looked around to see everyone standing, getting ready to run.  She quickly stood and held her hand out to help Clarke up.  She allowed her thumb to rub the back of Clarke's hand before releasing it.  Lexa couldn't get enough of Clarke and Clarke was equally enamored with Lexa.  So much so that they often forgot their surroundings.  It was something they both knew they needed to work on.

Everyone getting into their running groups as Clarke bent over to tie her shoe.  Clarke smiled when she heard Lexa suck in a quick breath.  

"Go to the office."  Lexa told Clarke.

"What?  What about-"

"Go."  

Clarke watched Lexa run towards Anya as she walked into the building.

"Hey, since our days are super busy now I'm gonna take this time to help Clarke study for the board, is that cool?"  Lexa asked Anya.

"Anything to get out running, I see."  Anya grinned at Lexa, "Yeah, that's fine.  See you in a bit."

Lexa turned and sprinted back into the building.

\--

 

"I got you now."  SSG Wallace muttered to himself as he started walking towards the company building.  He knew, he just knew something was going on with those two.  Cage was practically vibrating with excitement.

"Wallace!  Where are you going?"  1SG Indra yelled.

"I was going to see why Griffin wasn't out here."

"Are you her team leader?  I told them to study for the board.  Let's go.  Stop trying to get out of this run."

"Fucking bitch."  He muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Yes, 1SG!"

 

\--

 

Clarke was standing in the middle of the room wondering what she was doing in there when she heard footsteps quickly approaching.  Lexa rushed to Clarke slamming the door in her wake.  They collided in a flash of lips and hands.  Lexa forward motion propelled them into the wall.  Lexa's hands were all over Clarke and vice versa.  Clarke's arms wrapped around Lexa's shoulders as Lexa lifted her, carrying her to her impeccably clean desk.  She laid Clarke down and quickly removed Clarke's shorts and undies before climbing on top of her.  Lexa had a time clock running in the back of her mind.  She needed Clarke but she also needed to not get caught.  

Clarke moaned and arched her back as Lexa's fingers slid through her wet folds and teased her clit.  Clarke's lips trailed down Lexa's neck to her chest and back up.  Lexa dipped her fingers to the slick opening and pushed in.  Clarke's hips jerked at the initial pressure.   She began riding the glorious fingers of Lexa.  Clarke didn't know whether to praise God or give her soul to the devil to ensure she would always have Lexa.  Clarke's fingers moved on their own accord down Lexa's stomach to the waistband of her shorts.  Clarke explored further south and found an oasis of Lexa.  

Lexa bit back a moan when she felt Clarke's fingers rubbing circles on her clit.  She was already so close without even being touched.  

"Come with me baby."  Lexa demanded as she began rubbing Clarke's clit with her thumb while Clarke shamelessly rode Lexa's fingers.  

Clarke could feel the tingling sensation building in her lower abdomen and her toes began to curl.  Lexa could feel Clarke's walls beginning to spasm around her fingers, pulling the deeper into her.

"Oh, oh, fuck-" Clarke's moans were silenced by Lexa's mouth crashing into hers, Lexa swallowing all of Clarke's praise.

Clarke's fingers soaked in Lexa's come became spastic as her orgasm hit her hard but they still hit the spot Lexa needed to send her over the edge as well.  Both girls' hips were jerking furiously as they rode out there orgasm.  Once the trembling subsided Lexa rested her forehead on Clarke's as she smiled down at her.

"I like this PT."  Clarke teased.

"Me too-"

"What was that?"  Clarke sat up so quickly she nearly knocked Lexa off of the desk.

 

\--

 

SSG Wallace was salty as fuck.   _Had that stupid bitch minded her own business I would have had what I needed!_ It was then that a brilliant idea formed in his mind.  Had he went in when he tried he realized they probably wouldn't have been doing anything by that time but now... _now they might be_.  He looked around for Indra and when he didn't see her he turned around and headed back to the company.  When he reached the door he entered as quietly as he could.  Unfortunately, it was an old building and the doors and floors squeaked.  However, if those two were doing what he thought they were doing Wallace was sure they wouldn't hear him.  His sinister grin grew more evil as he drew near the closed door.  Reaching for the door he stilled himself, he was going to enjoy the looks on their faces.   _Especially that fuck, Lexa!_

 

\--

 

"Shit, someone is here! Put your shorts on."  Lexa hurriedly grabbed some papers and put them on the floor as she got in the push up position.  "Come on Clarke, do push ups."

Clarke understood what Lexa was doing and was extremely impressed with her ability to think quick.   Clarke didn't know if whoever was there would be coming to their office but if they did she hoped they would buy what Clarke and Lexa were trying to sell.

 

\--

 

SSG Wallace silently twisted the door knob and rushed into the office.  He abruptly stopped when he saw Griffin and Lexa doing push ups, perspiration dotting their faces.  Lexa stopped pushing and stood at the interruption.  Clarke stopped and begin to stand when Lexa stopped her.

"Did I tell you to stop?"

Clarke knew Lexa was playing a role.

"What do you need, SSG Wallace."  Lexa noted the discouraged look that momentarily took over his features before unadulterated hate flashed in his eyes.

"You think you're slick.  All right, I'll play your game but don't be mad when you lose.  I always win."  Cage said as he took a menacing step towards Lexa.

"You always win?  When did always coming in last start being considered a win.  I don't know what you think you know but, as usual, you're grasping at straws.  If you don't leave me and Spc. Griffin alone I will take this to the 1SG.  Now if you'll excuse me,  I have a board to help  _my_ soldier prepare for."  Lexa pushed Wallace into the hall before shutting the door in his face.   _  
_

Lexa held a finger to her lips until she heard Cage walk down the hall.  Clarke collapsed on the floor breathing heavy.  She hadn't even realized she held her breath.  

"That was too close."  Lexa said as she slumped into a chair, "But damn that was good."

 

 

 

 

 

 


	15. Chills and Thrills (With G!P)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adulting is really effin up my writing. I'm sorry it's been so long. Hopefully you enjoy this. Let me know what you think and if you have any questions just let me know. I posted a video on my tumblr of when I was in Korea. It's a stupid video from 2005 but it shows what a Motor Pool is and what the Conex is. So if you are confused just check it out.  
> Follow me on tumbler whiskeytangofoxtrot_over

 

"Fricking, fracking, fuck!  How many times do we have to lay out this gaht-damn equipment?  I'm freezing my balls off!"  Raven complained as she stood up from her seat on the concrete.  

"Seriously!  I have paint all over my phalanges."  Octavia pouted as she wiggled her fingers.

"You don't have balls."  Lincoln stated matter-of-factly.

"I do, on my chest." Raven playfully retorted while palming her boobs, "Unlike you, who has them in your mouth." 

"Yeah, mine in his mouth."  Octavia said, coming to the aide of her beau.

"Are you fools done? A disheveled Clarke huffed as she tripped out of the conex, "Let's get this done.  I have...to get some studying in before it gets super late."  Raven and Octavia rolled their eyes; Lincoln and Monty were blissfully unaware as usual.

Every junior enlisted soldier thought that conex layouts were a waste of time; something the higher ups used to keep them busy.  Conex layouts consisted of pulling all the equipment out, laying it out by platoon, counting it, sometimes cleaning it and/or painting it, and then putting it away.  It was a lot of equipment.  The trio hated it!  However, with deployment approaching they knew this time it was something that had to be done...they just didn't want to be the ones to do it.  Clarke had tried to persuade Lexa to give them something else to do but to no avail.

"We all did it when we were your rank, now it's your turn.  Love you!"  Lexa had said to Clarke on the phone.

So there they were.  Raven, Octavia, and Clarke, along with Lincoln and Monty, hungry, hands covered in spray paint, and freezing.  The long day was finally ending, all they had left was to put everything away.  

"I say we let these big, bulging, beastly men we have here," Raven said pointing to Lincoln and Monty, "put the stuff away.  You know, since you guys have those big muscles and stuff."

Monty's grin was from ear to ear as he stepped forward to pick up items.  He was halted by Lincoln's left backhand to the chest, "What?" He asked Lincoln who was looking at the girls with an unimpressed expression.

"Don't fall for it, Monty.  Raven is a master manipulator who has, apparently, been watching Christmas Vacation."

"Three things:

A. That is an amazing movie so don't judge me.

2\. Monty don't let Lincoln make you feel like you aren't as strong and

D. Yes, I've been watching Home Alone, too!"

"Yeah, bro, I'm strong. Check out my guns."  Monty flexed both of his arms.

"Whoa there killa, put those BB guns away."  Octavia laughed at the sight before her.

"Yeah, you'll shoot your eye out kid!"  Raven laughed but stopped when she realized no one else was laughing, "Geez, tough crowd.  Last Christmas movie reference...promise."

 

\--

 

Cage Wallace glared at Clarke Griffin from across the Motor Pool.  He knew something was going on between her and Lexa.  He could feel it in his bones.  Cage was a patient man.  He didn't care how long it took he would find a way to destroy Lexa Woods and if he just so happened to destroy "that Griffin Bitch" in the process then it would just make the victory even more sweeter.  They would slip eventually and when they did he would be there to catch them...and then drop them.

SSG Wallace sneered before turning his focus to his squad, "Let's go, Privates! We don't have all fucking day."

 

\--

 

Lexa was pretty sure she would get hell from Clarke for sending her to the Motor Pool but she also knew Clarke would get over it.  After all, they were still in the Army and they still had their jobs to do.  So far their relationship hadn't complicated that aspect and Lexa was glad.  Lexa looked up from her computer when she heard movement at the doorway of her office.

"All I'm saying is that you guys could have been more appreciative of my masterfully placed movie lines."  Raven said to the group as they walked into the squad room.

"I'd be more impressed if you could go any length of time without talking."  Monty replied

"I do, when i'm going down on your girl."  Raven responded.

"Jokes on you! I don't have a girl."  

"Or a boy."  Raven was on a roll.

Monty paused for a moment and then mumbled to himself, "Shit. My life sucks."

Clarke leaned forward to whisper into Monty's ear, "I'm sure you could have one because Miller hasn't taken his eyes off of you."

Monty shyly smiled as he made eye contact with the man that was sitting by Sgt Jasper's desk.

"Reyes, that's not appropriate for the workplace."  Lexa scolded Raven.  Clarke loved when Lexa went all Staff Sergeant.  She found it extremely sexy.  

"It's legal now, SSG.  Don't Ask, Don't Tell is repealed.  We will not be oppressed!"  Raven gave her passionate speech, complete with a clinched fist in the air.  

"How does two hundred burpees sound?"  Lexa asked.

"Oppress away, SSG."  Raven said quickly while taking a seat just as quickly.

"Thought so.  I'm guessing since you all are back that everything is finished."  When everyone nodded in the affirmative she released them for the day.  Lexa was tired and just wanted to cuddle up with the blonde in front of her.

The closer they got to their deployment date the longer the days got for all of them.  There was so much stuff that needed to be done before they stepped onto the big steel bird that would carry them thousands of miles from their homes to their possible demise.  Lexa remembered being eighteen and having to meet with an Army lawyer to write her will.  That's something that was not normally on the minds of teenagers but there she was with the rest of her unit planning for if they never came back.  

That had been her first deployment.  Gustus had been on his fourth.  He was Lexa's team leader.  He had taught her everything.  Lexa viewed him as more than her squad leader.  He had been a friend, a father figure.  When he died Lexa took it hard.  She didn't know how she would survive if Clarke was taken from her.  Lexa didn't like thinking about it but she couldn't stop.  Her dreams were now nightmares.  Nightmares of Clarke's screams and bleeding.  

"You okay?"  Jasper asked as he watched Lexa roughly rub her face.  He had noted that she looked exhausted.  

"Yeah, I think I'm going to call it a night.  I'm so tired that I can't think straight."  With her goodnights said, Lexa made her way to her car and texted Clarke, who was already at Lexa's house.

 

\--

 

"I'm scared.  I knew it was a huge possibility that I would deploy but I don't think I thought it would actually happen.  Pretty naive, huh?" Clarke asked Lexa as they laid on their sides, facing each other in Lexa's bed after a particularly long love making session.

"No, I think when we are young we think we are invincible and have the 'it won't happen to me' attitude.  It's okay to be scared.  If you aren't then I would think that maybe something was wrong with you."  Lexa winked at her.  

"Are you scared?" 

"About deploying?" Lexa's eyes followed her fingers as they traced over Clarke's smooth skin.

"Yeah, I mean I know you've deployed before but are you..."

"Yes and no. Whatever happens to me, happens to me. This time, though, you'll be there and I think I'm more scared of something happening to you than I am of it happening to me. War is a scary thing and some don't come back." Lexa paused as she thought about her last deployment, the one Gustus didn't return from. "That is what scares me most; losing you."

Lexa's eyes met Clarke's and Clarke could see the depths of emotion pooling in them. She traced Lexa's lips with the pad of her thumb before replacing it with her lips briefly before pulling back to look at Lexa.

"You won't lose me."  Clarke confessed as she placed her hand over Lexa's heart.

Lexa wanted to believe that but war was no respecter of persons; it was an equal opportunity killer. She had learned that the hard way. Lexa moved her left hand to cup Clarke's cheek as her eyes roamed over Clarke's face. The moon was shinning through Lexa's bedroom window and casting a celestial glow on Clarke. Lexa never wanted that moment to end. She wanted to forever hold on to that image of Clarke. Clarke gently pushed Lexa onto her back as she moved herself to hover over Lexa. Clarke's hair curtained around Lexa's face as she peered down at Lexa.

"I promise." Clarke uttered before kissing Lexa deeply, setting in motion another round of love making.

Who needed sleep?  Not them.

 

\--

 

The following morning found them exhausted while trying to do PT.  Exhausted but completely satisfied and unbelievably happy.  Clarke was kneeling on Lexa's feet with her hands on Lexa's knees as Lexa did sit-ups.  Clarke looked around to ensure everyone else was paying attention to their own partner before she began tenderly caressing Lexa's knees, sometimes dipping to touch her thighs.  Lexa's frustrated growl made Clarke giggle.  Clarke couldn't help it, she had to touch Lexa.  When they switched places Lexa's eyes were glued to where Clarke's PT shorts had opened to expose Clarke's panty covered center.  Lexa knowledge of what was hidden by the offending garment caused the familiar stirring in Lexa.  Clarke was smirking at a distracted Lexa when Octavia pulled them out of their own little world.

"Clarke, you've done like two hundred sit-ups.  We were only doing fifty.  You guys suck at this.  Get your shit together.  Also, why do we have to wear PT shorts with a PT long sleeve shirt and a PT jacket.  That makes no sense to me!"

"Preach it, Snow Blake! I'm freezing!"  Raven stated, her teeth chattering.

Lexa blushed when she realized how distracted she had gotten.  Luckily she could blame it on the cold.  She looked around to see everyone standing, getting ready to run.  She quickly stood and held her hand out to help Clarke up.  She allowed her thumb to rub the back of Clarke's hand before releasing it.  Lexa couldn't get enough of Clarke and Clarke was equally enamored with Lexa.  So much so that they often forgot their surroundings.  It was something they both knew they needed to work on.

Everyone getting into their running groups as Clarke bent over to tie her shoe.  Clarke smiled when she heard Lexa suck in a quick breath.  

"Go to the office."  Lexa told Clarke.

"What?  What about-"

"Go."  

Clarke watched Lexa run towards Anya as she walked into the building.

"Hey, since our days are super busy now I'm gonna take this time to help Clarke study for the board, is that cool?"  Lexa asked Anya.

"Anything to get out running, I see."  Anya grinned at Lexa, "Yeah, that's fine.  See you in a bit."

Lexa turned and sprinted back into the building.

\--

 

"I got you now."  SSG Wallace muttered to himself as he started walking towards the company building.  He knew, he just knew something was going on with those two.  Cage was practically vibrating with excitement.

"Wallace!  Where are you going?"  1SG Indra yelled.

"I was going to see why Griffin wasn't out here."

"Are you her team leader?  I told them to study for the board.  Let's go.  Stop trying to get out of this run."

"Fucking bitch."  He muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Yes, 1SG!"

 

\--

 

Clarke was standing in the middle of the room wondering what she was doing in there when she heard footsteps quickly approaching.  Lexa rushed to Clarke slamming the door in her wake.  They collided in a flash of lips and hands.  Lexa forward motion propelled them into the wall.  Lexa's hands were all over Clarke and vice versa.  Clarke could feel Lexa's fully erect cock straining against the shorts that suppressed it.  Clarke's arms wrapped around Lexa's shoulders as Lexa lifted her, carrying her to her impeccably clean desk.  She set Clarke down, spun her around, and quickly removed Clarke's shorts and undies before bending her over the desk.  Lexa had a time clock running in the back of her mind.  She needed Clarke but she also needed to not get caught.  

Clarke moaned and arched her back as Lexa's fingers slid through her wet folds and teased her clit.  Lexa's lips trailed down Clarke's back.  Lexa dipped her fingers to the slick opening and pushed in.  Clarke's hips pushed back into Lexa's hand at the initial pressure.   She began riding the glorious fingers of Lexa.  Clarke whined as Lexa removed her fingers but rejoiced when Lexa's throbbing, hard cock entered her fast and deep.  Clarke didn't know whether to praise God or give her soul to the devil to ensure she would always have Lexa.  Clarke gripped the sides of the desk as Lexa fucked her from behind.  Clarke could feel each ridge of Lexa's member as she thrusted into her.  

Lexa bit back a moan when she felt Clarke's walls constricting tightly around her.  She was already so close, that's what Clarke did to her.  She could feel her come building up in her shaft.  Lexa was fighting it but the sensations began to build in her as her cock pulsated harder and harder.  One hand gripped Clarke's hair and the other gripped Clarke's hip as Lexa pulled Clarke into her with slow, deep thrusts.  

"Come with me baby."  Lexa demanded as she moved her hand to rub Clarke's clit  while Clarke shamelessly pushed back onto Lexa's pulsating cock.  

Clarke could feel the tingling sensation building in her lower abdomen and her toes began to curl.  Lexa could feel Clarke's walls beginning to spasm around her, pulling Lexa deeper into her.

"Oh, oh, fuck-" Clarke's moans were silenced by Lexa's hand crashing over her mouth, Lexa muffling all of Clarke's praise.

Clarke's knuckles turned white gripping the desk as the orgasm hit her hard.  Lexa could feel the tension being released from her body as she came deep inside Clarke.  Both girls' hips were jerking furiously as they rode out there orgasm.  Once the trembling subsided Lexa rested her forehead on Clarke's back as she smiled against her skin, both girls trying to catch their breath.

"I like this PT."  Clarke teased.

"Me too-"

"What was that?"  Clarke sat up so quickly she nearly knocked Lexa off of the desk.

 

\--

 

SSG Wallace was salty as fuck.  Had that stupid bitch minded her own business I would have had what I needed!  It was then that a brilliant idea formed in his mind.  Had he went in when he tried he realized they probably wouldn't have been doing anything by that time but now...now they might be.  He looked around for Indra and when he didn't see her he turned around and headed back to the company.  When he reached the door he entered as quietly as he could.  Unfortunately, it was an old building and the doors and floors squeaked.  However, if those two were doing what he thought they were doing Wallace was sure they wouldn't hear him.  His sinister grin grew more evil as he drew near the closed door.  Reaching for the door he stilled himself, he was going to enjoy the looks on their faces.  Especially that fuck, Lexa!

 

\--

 

"Shit, someone is here! Put your shorts on."  Lexa hurriedly grabbed some papers and put them on the floor as she got in the push up position.  "Come on Clarke, do push ups."

Clarke understood what Lexa was doing and was extremely impressed with her ability to think quick.   Clarke didn't know if whoever was there would be coming to their office but if they did she hoped they would buy what Clarke and Lexa were trying to sell.

 

\--

 

SSG Wallace silently twisted the door knob and rushed into the office.  He abruptly stopped when he saw Griffin and Lexa doing push ups, perspiration dotting their faces.  Lexa stopped pushing and stood at the interruption.  Clarke stopped and begin to stand when Lexa stopped her.

"Did I tell you to stop?"

Clarke knew Lexa was playing a role.

"What do you need, SSG Wallace."  Lexa noted the discouraged look that momentarily took over his features before unadulterated hate flashed in his eyes.

"You think you're slick.  All right, I'll play your game but don't be mad when you lose.  I always win."  Cage said as he took a menacing step towards Lexa.

"You always win?  When did always coming in last start being considered a win.  I don't know what you think you know but, as usual, you're grasping at straws.  If you don't leave me and Spc. Griffin alone I will take this to the 1SG.  Now if you'll excuse me,  I have a board to help my soldier prepare for."  Lexa pushed Wallace into the hall before shutting the door in his face.  

Lexa held a finger to her lips until she heard Cage walk down the hall.  Clarke collapsed on the floor breathing heavy.  She hadn't even realized she held her breath.  

"That was too close."  Lexa said as she slumped into a chair, "But damn that was good."


	16. To War and Beyond (With G!P)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been awhile! Hope you enjoy the chapter. Let me know what you think. It's not beta'd so sorry for any mistakes, feel free to point them out. Also, that kneeling scene...hot damn.

Clarke had never been happier. Clarke and Lexa's life together was a sexy, intense love that they never wanted to end. Their lives were busy but they always made time for each other. Contrary to what Clarke had originally thought, they went on dates and often went dancing. Lexa loved to feel Clarke moving against her to the sensual music. It always led to great sex, most the time they wouldn't even make it back to Lexa's house before one or both orgasmed. They had almost been caught multiple times when they would sneak kisses or slap the others ass while at the company building. The clandestinity of it all only added to the pleasure.

They had been preparing for their deployment and the closer it got Clarke became more nervous. At first she was scared for herself but as time had passed she worried for Lexa more. She supposed that just how love worked, the well being of another mattered more than her own. They were scheduled to leave the next day and as each second ticked by the excitement, stress, and anxiety peaked higher and higher.

Everything was packed, some things had been shipped prior to the deployment date, and a group of soldiers had been sent early to set everything up before the unit got there. All that was left was to spend their final nights with there families, wake up, and get on a steal bird.

"I can't believe tomorrow is here already." Clarke said quietly as she ran her fingers up Lexa's bare back.

"No, we still have today. Don't be in tomorrow yet, hold on to tonight. Be here, in this moment, with me." Lexa lifted her head from Clarke's chest and whispered to her as she gently caressed Clarke's cheek.

Clarke just nodded while holding the emerald eye's gaze. Clarke's worry melted away when Lexa's delicious, plump lips met hers. They had spent the whole day making love and making up for the time they were sure to miss out on once they were in Afghanistan. Lexa could feel the tension coming off of Clarke in waves. She tried everything that she could to calm the blonde's mind. Lexa understood, she was feeling the same way but multiple deployments had taught her how to hide her nervousness. She was going to be in charge of people this time. That weighed heavily on her mind. If she messed up she could get many people killed. Her squad looked to her to make the right decisions and keep them safe. Lexa felt the weight of the world on her shoulders but she cast it aside for one night to hold on to the innocence. Clarke was her innocence. Lexa had seen and done many horrible things, that's war, it's kill or be killed but with every stroke of her fingers and tongue Clarke had purged her and washed her clean with every kiss.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Clarke asked as she pushed Lexa's brown curls behind her ear.

"I was just thinking about how much I love you." Lexa said against Clarke's lips.

"Care to show me how much?" Clarke said with a wicked grin.

"With pleasure."

 

\--

 

"Fuck, I'm tired." Raven complained as the trio waited in front of the company building for the formation.  Their duffel bags had been loaded and they were just waiting to load the buses to the plane.  

"What did you do last night?"  Octavia asked through a yawn.

"You mean  _who_ did I do last night." Raven said with a smirk.

"Okay, who did you do last night?" Clarke asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"...yes...that's why I asked."  Clarke stated matter-of-factly.

"Ugh, no one." Raven said as she deflated.

"Then why are you so tired?"

"Because of fucking Adele!"

Clarke and Octavia looked at each other in confusion.  Octavia was the first to speak, "who the hell is Adele?"

"You know! Rollin' in the Deep Adele."  Raven continued when an inquisitive look settled on both Octavia and Clarke's face, "okay, so I had this really weird dream and Adele was trying to force me off this ledge onto a shaky step which happened to be upside down KFC buckets with bricks on top of them.  It was surrounded by a deep cavern.  I wasn't ready and she was being a bitch about it.  I was being reasonable because the construction of those steps weren't safe by any means and she kept saying 'fucking Americans, I'll never understand how they won the Revolution.'  You know I love Adele!  I always thought the first time I met her would be amazing but it turns out she's a bitch.  I kept waking up and every time I went back to sleep she'd be in my dream being an asshole with an accent."

"I...you...Octavia help me out here."  Clarke was at a loss for words.

"You do realize that that was a dream and I'm sure Adele is quite lovely in person.  I mean come on, you saw her on Carpool Karaoke.  There is no way she's a bitch.  You were probably just freaking out about deploying.  Which would explain the ledge that you're being forced off."  

"Look at you being all philosophical, Socratavia.  Get it?  Socrates and Octavia.  Damn, I'm funny!"  Raven teased.  "Damn, who is that?!"

Octavia and Clarke turned to look in the direction that Raven was gaping at.  Clarke heard a squeal, an honest to god squeal, escape from Octavia as she sprinted towards the handsome Lieutenant walking towards them.  Clarke watched as Octavia ran into the Lt's open arms.  

"Oh my God, oh my God.  I thought you said you wouldn't be able to make it."  They heard Octavia exclaim.

"Well, I pulled some strings.  You didn't think I'd let my baby sister leave without saying bye to her did you.  Aren't you forgetting something?"  He asked with a grin.

"I'm not saluting you.  We've talked about this."  

"Um, well the Army Regulation 600-25 didn't get the memo."

"Shut up.  I can't believe you're here.  Come meet my friends."  Octavia grasped her brothers hand and led him to Raven and Clarke. "Bellamy this is Griffin and Reyes.  Ladies this is my big brother Lieutenant Bellamy Blake.  He's stationed in Georgia."  Raven and Clarke saluted the elder Blake.

Bellamy's gaze stayed on Clarke longer than necessary and it caused her to blush.  She couldn't deny that he was very handsome but he didn't stir the butterflies in her stomach like Lexa did.  Still, it was flattering.

"You're taken, Clarke, I saw him first."  Raven whispered.  

 

\--

Lexa was running around trying to finish last minute details that had been tasked to her by Anya.  She hadn't seen Clarke since they had kissed before heading in that morning.  Lexa opened the door to step outside and ran directly into the back of Costia.  

"Not the best place to be standing, Cos."

"Who is that?"  Costia asked pointing in the direction of a group of soldiers.

"I don't..." Lexa paused when she realized the mystery man was talking to a blushing Clarke.  "I don't know but I'm about to find out."

"Someone's jealous."  Costia bantered.  

"What? I don't...pssh...shut up."  Costia couldn't help but chuckle as she watched Lexa posture to her full size and strut across the field with determination in her strides.  It seemed as though even the commander of emotions was susceptible to jealousy.

 

\--

"...but Octavia never told me how pretty you ladies are or how blue your eyes are."  Lexa heard the Lt. say as she approached the group.  

"Good morning, Lt."  Lexa gave Bellamy the greeting of the day as she saluted him.  She really didn't want to be saluting the guy but regulations were regulations.  His face turned red, probably because of the fact that he had gotten caught flirting with junior enlisted.  Any relationship between an officer and an enlisted is illegal unless they are married.  

"SSG Lexa this is my brother, Bella-I mean Lt. Blake.  He came to send me off."  The love for her brother was evident on Octavia's face as she looked to him.

"Well, wasn't that sweet of you, Lt.  It's nice that you were able to make it."  Lexa's words were polite but her demeanor was not. She turned to the trio, "I just wanted to make sure that you guys are good and to let you know that we have a formation in fifteen minutes and then we are out of here so if you need a drink or to use the latrine now is the time."  Lexa didn't need to tell them that and Clarke knew that.  Lexa stood close to Clarke and her eyes bore into Lt. Blake before she left, "sir."  She said in lieu of a goodbye. 

Clarke just smiled at her girlfriend/squad leader.  She always thought it was cute when Lexa got jealous.  It didn't happen often but when it did it turned Clarke on and it definitely wasn't the time to be turned on.  Lexa smiled to her team and headed back into the building.  

"She's kind of intense, huh?"  Bellamy said staring after her.

"You've no idea."  Clarke muttered behind her smile. "If you'll excuse me, I need to use the restroom." Clarke turned and took her phone out as she walked towards the building to her room.  With a grin on her face she typed out the text.

 

\--

Lexa's face split into a brilliant smile as she looked at her phone.

_Skai Prisa: Come to my room._

"I think someone forgot to tell Woods that we are deploying today.  Why are you grinning at your phone like a fool?"  Anya asked.

"What? Oh, my uh...my dad sent me a joke.  I need to use the latrine I'll be back in a few."  Lexa said distracted by the scenarios going through her head.

"You're good.  We're are done now so just relax until formation."  Anya was pretty sure Lexa didn't hear anything she had said considering Lexa was practically out the door before she had even started her sentence.

Lexa could feel the blood rushing to her cock as she climbed the stairs two at a time.  The possibilities playing in Lexa's head was causing her to throb and strain against the fabric of her uniform.

 

\--

Clarke needed to touch Lexa one more time.  She had no idea what it was going to be like once they had boots on the ground and she didn't want to miss any opportunity she could get to feel Lexa against her.  A gently tap on her door pulled her from her musings and she rushed to the door not wishing to waste any time.  

Lexa was caught off guard as slender fingers grasped her collar of her uniform and unceremoniously tugged her into Clarke's room.  Clarke's lips were instantly on Lexa's as she pushed Lexa against the door.  Lexa burned everywhere that Clarke touched her and Clarke was touching her everywhere.  Lexa tried, unsuccessfully, to reverse there positions but Clarke let her know who was in charge.  It seemed like Clarke's lips and hands were everywhere at once.  It was sensory overload for Lexa.  

Clarke could feel Lexa's beast raging to be released from the fabric cage that had imprisoned it.  Lexa's breath hitched, eyes closed, and head fell back causing a small thud when Clarke palmed Lexa's crotch.  Lexa could feel Clarke's warm breath on her neck moments before Clarke grasped Lexa's earlobe between her teeth.  Lexa could not control the shiver that ran down her spine.  

"Shhh."  Clarke whispered in Lexa's ear before sliding her body down Lexa's, kneeling in front of her.  

Lexa looked down and gulped at the hunger she saw in Clarke's eyes.  Clarke's nimble fingers made light work of the uniform pant buttons.  With the clock running against them Clarke knew she had limited time.  She reached her hand into the hole of Lexas undies and freed Lexa's length.  Clarke wasted no time as she slide her lips around the head of Lexa's cock.  Lexa released a low moan and grabbed the bun on the back Clarke's head, gripping it and moving back and forth with the motion of Clarke's head.   Clarke's hand was twisting on the base while her delicious mouth assaulted the tip.  Clarke's lips slid to the base and back with her tongue cupping the underside of Lexa's cock in rapid succession.  Clarke loved the way Lexa's smooth skin felt on her tongue and the way she could feel it twitching and building up ready to release.

Lexa was trying to prolong her release but Clarke's warm, wet mouth and the things she was doing with her glorious tongue was making Lexa come undone.  She could feel the tell tale signs starting in her lower abdomen and building in her pulsing cock.  Lexa's breath was ragged and with each new breath the sensations intensified.  The spine-tingling pressure was building and building like flood water at a dam.   Lexa gripped Clarke's head tighter as Clarke's head bobbed and her tongue and mouth worked Lexa into a frenzy.  

"I'm gonna come."  Lexa let go of Clarke's head.  

Lexa learned that if Clarke didn't want Lexa to come in her mouth she would remove it and finish Lexa with her hand.  If she wanted Lexa to come in her mouth she'd keep sucking.  When Clarke kept her mouth on Lexa's pent up member her dam finally broke.  Lexa tried to refrain from letting her hips thrust into Clarke's mouth but her length couldn't get enough of Clarke's warmth.  

Clarke could feel Lexa's come release into her mouth as she milked Lexa for more.  She looked up at Lexa as the last of it released into her mouth.  Clarke removed her mouth and swallowed.  She dabbed the corners of her mouth before standing back up.

"Mmm."  Clarke moaned before grinning wickedly at Lexa.

"You're gonna be the death of me."  Was all Lexa could say before kissing the blonde vixen.

 

\--

They had both snuck back down and to formation before anyone realized they were both gone.  They had loaded the buses and made the 10 minute ride to the tarmac where the commercialized military jet awaited them.  With their assault packs on their backs and their rifles in their hands they unloaded the bus and walked to the plane.  The families of the various soldiers lined up on both sides not prepared to say goodbye to their soldier for possibly the last time.  Clarke's mother hadn't been able to make it but Clarke had been able to go home and see her before she left.  Still Clarke was sad that she wasn't able to see her mother one more time.  Everything felt like it was happening so fast.  She looked around and saw the realization that the task they all were about to embark on could possibly end their lives and they would never see their family again.  It was daunting and all of the joking that had just been occurring only hours ago felt like a lifetime ago.  It was real.  It was no longer a date in the future.  It was the present and she realized that she wasn't the only one that was terrified.  Clarke was startled out of her thoughts when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"We're going to be okay."  Lexa smiled at her.

They had flown from Ft. Campbell to Newfoundland, to Ireland, to Germany, to Turkey, and then to Manas, Kyrgyzstan.  They boarded a C-17 fourteen hours after landing at the Air Force base in Manas.  Clarke found a seat against the wall of the plane and smiled when Lexa sat to her right and the other two to her left.  It was the most uncomfortable seat she had ever been in.  They had all donned their vests and helmets but that's not what made it uncomfortable.  The seats didn't adjust and everyone was sitting straight up.  No relaxing for them.  Moments after that thought she heard light snoring coming from Raven.  Apparently, the girl can sleep anywhere. 

An hour and a half later Raven awoke from her slumber.  "This is the smoothest flight I've ever been on.  Why aren't commercial airlines this-"  Before Raven could finish her sentence the C-17 finally took off.

"Are you fucking kidding me?  We've been sitting on the tarmac for..." Raven looked at her watch, "an hour and a half!  Fuck, now what am I supposed to do!"

Lexa, Clarke, and Octavia couldn't control their laughter.  

"This is going to be a long deployment."  Raven groaned before resting her chin on her vest and closing her eyes again.  

That just caused them to laugh again.  Lexa caught Clarke's eye before discreetly grazing Clarke's pinky with her own followed by a small smile.  

_A long deployment indeed._

They were so caught up in each other that they didn't notice Anya notice them.  Immediately the wheels started turning and things began to click in her head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out a short video of my trip on a C-17 on my tumbler whiskeytangofoxtrot_over


	17. To War and Beyond (Without G!P)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been awhile! Hope you enjoy the chapter. Let me know what you think. It's not beta'd so sorry for any mistakes, feel free to point them out. Also, that kneeling scene...hot damn.

Clarke had never been happier. Clarke and Lexa's life together was a sexy, intense love that they never wanted to end. Their lives were busy but they always made time for each other. Contrary to what Clarke had originally thought, they went on dates and often went dancing. Lexa loved to feel Clarke moving against her to the sensual music. It always led to great sex, most the time they wouldn't even make it back to Lexa's house before one or both orgasmed. They had almost been caught multiple times when they would sneak kisses or slap the others ass while at the company building. The clandestinity of it all only added to the pleasure.

They had been preparing for their deployment and the closer it got Clarke became more nervous. At first she was scared for herself but as time had passed she worried for Lexa more. She supposed that just how love worked, the well being of another mattered more than her own. They were scheduled to leave the next day and as each second ticked by the excitement, stress, and anxiety peaked higher and higher.

Everything was packed, some things had been shipped prior to the deployment date, and a group of soldiers had been sent early to set everything up before the unit got there. All that was left was to spend their final nights with there families, wake up, and get on a steal bird.

"I can't believe tomorrow is here already." Clarke said quietly as she ran her fingers up Lexa's bare back.

"No, we still have today. Don't be in tomorrow yet, hold on to tonight. Be here, in this moment, with me." Lexa lifted her head from Clarke's chest and whispered to her as she gently caressed Clarke's cheek.

Clarke just nodded while holding the emerald eye's gaze. Clarke's worry melted away when Lexa's delicious, plump lips met hers. They had spent the whole day making love and making up for the time they were sure to miss out on once they were in Afghanistan. Lexa could feel the tension coming off of Clarke in waves. She tried everything that she could to calm the blonde's mind. Lexa understood, she was feeling the same way but multiple deployments had taught her how to hide her nervousness. She was going to be in charge of people this time. That weighed heavily on her mind. If she messed up she could get many people killed. Her squad looked to her to make the right decisions and keep them safe. Lexa felt the weight of the world on her shoulders but she cast it aside for one night to hold on to the innocence. Clarke was her innocence. Lexa had seen and done many horrible things, that's war, it's kill or be killed but with every stroke of her fingers and tongue Clarke had purged her and washed her clean with every kiss.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Clarke asked as she pushed Lexa's brown curls behind her ear.

"I was just thinking about how much I love you." Lexa said against Clarke's lips.

"Care to show me how much?" Clarke said with a wicked grin.

"With pleasure."

 

\--

 

"Fuck, I'm tired." Raven complained as the trio waited in front of the company building for the formation.  Their duffel bags had been loaded and they were just waiting to load the buses to the plane.  

"What did you do last night?"  Octavia asked through a yawn.

"You mean _who_  did I do last night." Raven said with a smirk.

"Okay, who did you do last night?" Clarke asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"...yes...that's why I asked."  Clarke stated matter-of-factly.

"Ugh, no one." Raven said as she deflated.

"Then why are you so tired?"

"Because of fucking Adele!"

Clarke and Octavia looked at each other in confusion.  Octavia was the first to speak, "who the hell is Adele?"

"You know! Rollin' in the Deep Adele."  Raven continued when an inquisitive look settled on both Octavia and Clarke's face, "okay, so I had this really weird dream and Adele was trying to force me off this ledge onto a shaky step which happened to be upside down KFC buckets with bricks on top of them.  It was surrounded by a deep cavern.  I wasn't ready and she was being a bitch about it.  I was being reasonable because the construction of those steps weren't safe by any means and she kept saying 'fucking Americans, I'll never understand how they won the Revolution.'  You know I love Adele!  I always thought the first time I met her would be amazing but it turns out she's a bitch.  I kept waking up and every time I went back to sleep she'd be in my dream being an asshole with an accent."

"I...you...Octavia help me out here."  Clarke was at a loss for words.

"You do realize that that was a dream and I'm sure Adele is quite lovely in person.  I mean come on, you saw her on Carpool Karaoke.  There is no way she's a bitch.  You were probably just freaking out about deploying.  Which would explain the ledge that you're being forced off."  

"Look at you being all philosophical, Socratavia.  Get it?  Socrates and Octavia.  Damn, I'm funny!"  Raven teased.  "Damn, who is that?!"

Octavia and Clarke turned to look in the direction that Raven was gaping at.  Clarke heard a squeal, an honest to god squeal, escape from Octavia as she sprinted towards the handsome Lieutenant walking towards them.  Clarke watched as Octavia ran into the Lt's open arms.  

"Oh my God, oh my God.  I thought you said you wouldn't be able to make it."  They heard Octavia exclaim.

"Well, I pulled some strings.  You didn't think I'd let my baby sister leave without saying bye to her did you.  Aren't you forgetting something?"  He asked with a grin.

"I'm not saluting you.  We've talked about this."  

"Um, well the Army Regulation 600-25 didn't get the memo."

"Shut up.  I can't believe you're here.  Come meet my friends."  Octavia grasped her brothers hand and led him to Raven and Clarke. "Bellamy this is Griffin and Reyes.  Ladies this is my big brother Lieutenant Bellamy Blake.  He's stationed in Georgia."  Raven and Clarke saluted the elder Blake.

Bellamy's gaze stayed on Clarke longer than necessary and it caused her to blush.  She couldn't deny that he was very handsome but he didn't stir the butterflies in her stomach like Lexa did.  Still, it was flattering.

"You're taken, Clarke, I saw him first."  Raven whispered.  

 

\--

Lexa was running around trying to finish last minute details that had been tasked to her by Anya.  She hadn't seen Clarke since they had kissed before heading in that morning.  Lexa opened the door to step outside and ran directly into the back of Costia.  

"Not the best place to be standing, Cos."

"Who is that?"  Costia asked pointing in the direction of a group of soldiers.

"I don't..." Lexa paused when she realized the mystery man was talking to a blushing Clarke.  "I don't know but I'm about to find out."

"Someone's jealous."  Costia bantered.  

"What? I don't...pssh...shut up."  Costia couldn't help but chuckle as she watched Lexa posture to her full size and strut across the field with determination in her strides.  It seemed as though even the commander of emotions was susceptible to jealousy.

 

\--

"...but Octavia never told me how pretty you ladies are or how blue your eyes are."  Lexa heard the Lt. say as she approached the group.  

"Good morning, Lt."  Lexa gave Bellamy the greeting of the day as she saluted him.  She really didn't want to be saluting the guy but regulations were regulations.  His face turned red, probably because of the fact that he had gotten caught flirting with junior enlisted.  Any relationship between an officer and an enlisted is illegal unless they are married.  

"SSG Lexa this is my brother, Bella-I mean Lt. Blake.  He came to send me off."  The love for her brother was evident on Octavia's face as she looked to him.

"Well, wasn't that sweet of you, Lt.  It's nice that you were able to make it."  Lexa's words were polite but her demeanor was not. She turned to the trio, "I just wanted to make sure that you guys are good and to let you know that we have a formation in fifteen minutes and then we are out of here so if you need a drink or to use the latrine now is the time."  Lexa didn't need to tell them that and Clarke knew that.  Lexa stood close to Clarke and her eyes bore into Lt. Blake before she left, "sir."  She said in lieu of a goodbye. 

Clarke just smiled at her girlfriend/squad leader.  She always thought it was cute when Lexa got jealous.  It didn't happen often but when it did it turned Clarke on and it definitely wasn't the time to be turned on.  Lexa smiled to her team and headed back into the building.  

"She's kind of intense, huh?"  Bellamy said staring after her.

"You've no idea."  Clarke muttered behind her smile. "If you'll excuse me, I need to use the restroom." Clarke turned and took her phone out as she walked towards the building to her room.  With a grin on her face she typed out the text.

 

\--

Lexa's face split into a brilliant smile as she looked at her phone.

 _Skai Prisa: Come to my room_.

"I think someone forgot to tell Woods that we are deploying today.  Why are you grinning at your phone like a fool?"  Anya asked.

"What? Oh, my uh...my dad sent me a joke.  I need to use the latrine I'll be back in a few."  Lexa said distracted by the scenarios going through her head.

"You're good.  We're are done now so just relax until formation."  Anya was pretty sure Lexa didn't hear anything she had said considering Lexa was practically out the door before she had even started her sentence.

Lexa could feel the wetness coat her thighs.  The possibilities playing in Lexa's head was causing her to throb and pulse.

 

\--

Clarke needed to touch Lexa one more time.  She had no idea what it was going to be like once they had boots on the ground and she didn't want to miss any opportunity she could get to feel Lexa against her.  A gently tap on her door pulled her from her musings and she rushed to the door not wishing to waste any time.  

Lexa was caught off guard as slender fingers grasped her collar of her uniform and unceremoniously tugged her into Clarke's room.  Clarke's lips were instantly on Lexa's as she pushed Lexa against the door.  Lexa burned everywhere that Clarke touched her and Clarke was touching her everywhere.  Lexa tried, unsuccessfully, to reverse there positions but Clarke let her know who was in charge.  It seemed like Clarke's lips and hands were everywhere at once.  It was sensory overload for Lexa.  

Clarke could feel Lexa's clit twitch, begging her to touch it and give her release.  Lexa's breath hitched, eyes closed, and head fell back causing a small thud when Clarke palmed Lexa's crotch.  Lexa could feel Clarke's warm breath on her neck moments before Clarke grasped Lexa's earlobe between her teeth.  Lexa could not control the shiver that ran down her spine.  

"Shhh."  Clarke whispered in Lexa's ear before sliding her body down Lexa's, kneeling in front of her.  

Lexa looked down and gulped at the hunger she saw in Clarke's eyes.  Clarke's nimble fingers made light work of the uniform pant buttons.  With the clock running against them Clarke knew she had limited time.  She pulled Lexa’s pants and undies down to her feet removing one boot and leg from her pants. Clarke threw Lexa’s bare leg over her shoulder.  She wasted no time as she slid her tongue against Lexa’s clit.  Lexa released a low moan and grabbed the bun on the back Clarke's head, gripping it and moving with the motion of Clarke's head.   Clarke's fingers wer teasing her entrance as Clarke’s delicious mouth assaulted her.  Clarke's tongue applied the right pressure in the right spot.  Lexa could barely hold herself up when she felt Clarke slide in one finger and then two. Clarke loved the way Lexa tasted on her tongue and the way she could feel Lexa’s walls twitching and squeezing ready to release.

Lexa was trying to prolong her orgasm but Clarke's warm, wet mouth and the things she was doing with her glorious tongue was making Lexa come undone. Add in Clarke’s long fingers thrusting into her at a steady pace and she could feel the tell tale signs starting in her lower abdomen and building in her.  Lexa's breath was ragged and with each new breath the sensations intensified.  The spine-tingling pressure was building and building like floodwater at a dam.   Lexa gripped Clarke's head tighter as Clarke's head bobbed and her tongue and fingers worked Lexa into frenzy.  

"I'm gonna come."  Lexa let go of Clarke's head.  

Clarke kept her tongue on Lexa's pulsing clit. Lexa’s dam finally broke.  Lexa’s hips unabashedly thrusted into Clarke's mouth and onto her fingers.

Clarke could feel Lexa's come release into her mouth as she milked Lexa for more.  She looked up at Lexa as she felt the last of the spasms that she had elicited from Lexa. Clarke licked Lexa clean, savoring the taste, not knowing whent he next time she’d be able to taste her again. Clarke removed her mouth and swallowed.  She dabbed the corners of her mouth before standing back up.

"Mmm."  Clarke moaned before grinning wickedly at Lexa.

"You're gonna be the death of me."  Was all Lexa could say before kissing the blonde vixen.

 

\--

They had both snuck back down and to formation before anyone realized they were both gone.  They had loaded the buses and made the 10 minute ride to the tarmac where the commercialized military jet awaited them.  With their assault packs on their backs and their rifles in their hands they unloaded the bus and walked to the plane.  The families of the various soldiers lined up on both sides not prepared to say goodbye to their soldier for possibly the last time.  Clarke's mother hadn't been able to make it but Clarke had been able to go home and see her before she left.  Still Clarke was sad that she wasn't able to see her mother one more time.  Everything felt like it was happening so fast.  She looked around and saw the realization that the task they all were about to embark on could possibly end their lives and they would never see their family again.  It was daunting and all of the joking that had just been occurring only hours ago felt like a lifetime ago.  It was real.  It was no longer a date in the future.  It was the present and she realized that she wasn't the only one that was terrified.  Clarke was startled out of her thoughts when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"We're going to be okay."  Lexa smiled at her.

They had flown from Ft. Campbell to Newfoundland, to Ireland, to Germany, to Turkey, and then to Manas, Kyrgyzstan.  They boarded a C-17 fourteen hours after landing at the Air Force base in Manas.  Clarke found a seat against the wall of the plane and smiled when Lexa sat to her right and the other two to her left.  It was the most uncomfortable seat she had ever been in.  They had all donned their vests and helmets but that's not what made it uncomfortable.  The seats didn't adjust and everyone was sitting straight up, no relaxing for them.  Moments after that thought she heard light snoring coming from Raven.  Apparently, the girl can sleep anywhere. 

An hour and a half later Raven awoke from her slumber.  "This is the smoothest flight I've ever been on.  Why aren't commercial airlines this—" Before Raven could finish her sentence the C-17 finally took off.

"Are you fucking kidding me?  We've been sitting on the tarmac for..." Raven looked at her watch, "an hour and a half!  Fuck, now what am I supposed to do!"

Lexa, Clarke, and Octavia couldn't control their laughter.  

"This is going to be a long deployment."  Raven groaned before resting her chin on her vest and closing her eyes again.  

That just caused them to laugh again.  Lexa caught Clarke's eye before discreetly grazing Clarke's pinky with her own followed by a small smile.  

_A long deployment indeed._

They were so caught up in each other that they didn't notice Anya notice them.  Immediately the wheels started turning and things began to click in her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out a short video of my trip on a C-17 on my tumbler whiskeytangofoxtrot_over


	18. Bullets and Burgers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> b-hut and hooch is the same thing. Go to my Tumblr to see pictures of what they look like if you so desire. DFAC is the kitchen. TOC is Tactical Operations Center. FOB is forward operating base. If you have any questions feel free to ask. I know it's a short chapter but I'm already working on the next chapter so hopefully I'll have it out soon. No sexy time in this one but I promise there will be in the next. As always thanks for reading!

They were moving to another b-hut for the second time.  For the most part, the trio were pretty easy going and did as they were told without complaining but not this time.  They were pissed.  They had just finished a twelve hour shift in the internment facility and they were exhausted.  Not to mention that they had just had KBR make doors for their rooms.  A commodity that was hard to come by.  So after making their shitty b-hut halfway decent, SGT Jasper had delivered a message to them that they had to move to a different b-hut.  So after packing up their tiny rooms, donning a full duffle bag on their front and back and carrying a full ruck sack, the women headed out into the freezing day.  A blanket of snow and ice covered the river rocked ground.  Stepping carefully through the rows of b-huts, they trekked to their new accommodations.  Clarke and Octavia stopped when they heard Raven yelp followed by a crash and string of curse words.  

"My fucking vagina!" Raven screamed.

A laughing Clarke and Octavia dropped their gear on the ground and carefully made their way to Raven, who was doing the splits with one leg in front and one in back.  The sight before them was rather amusing.  Raven, with all of her gear on, could not get up.  Resigned to her fate, she fell to her side.

Lying on her side with her full duffle bags still attached to her, she let out a long sigh before deadpanning,  "You know, when they said we would be deploying I envisioned guns blazing, bullets whizzing by, explosions, Bald Eagles flying behind us, the Star-Spangled Banner blaring, almost dying everyday, and just total badassery.  I did not envision never leaving the FOB, baby sitting grown men, the amount of fucking snow that falls here, and these stupid river rocks all over the goddamn place."  Raven said as she looked up at her two friends from the her position on the ground.  "I think I just broke my vagina.  Can a vagina break?"

Clarke and Octavia were doubled over in laughter.  They had both busted their asses walking to work.  Octavia had went down first, taking a wobbly Clarke with her.  Raven had done exactly what they were doing now, offering no help and just laughing.  

 

\--

"Why does God hate us?"  Octavia said in disgust as she looked around the b-hut.  "It smells like piss, dirty socks, Cool Ranch Doritos, and cum."

"And farts...don't forget farts."  Raven's statement was dripping with disdain.  

"I'm afraid to touch anything."  Clarke said as she peered into one of the tiny rooms, various objects of trash was strewn around, "Oh my god, is that a used condom?  You know what, fuck this.  I'll be back.  Try not to catch any diseases while I'm gone."

Clarke was out the door, moving with a purpose.  With each step anger built up inside her.   _How the fuck dare they fucking move us from the fucking hut that we fucking spent a lot of time fucking fixing and move us to the fucking hepatitis fucked hut._   She was moving at a quick pace, almost jogging through the rows of shitty b-huts.  Clarke exuded power, confidence, and rage; others were quick to get out of the path that the sexy blonde was setting ablaze.  Clarke rounded the corner and could see the person with whom she had a bone to pick.  

As if they could feel the electric fury in the air, Lexa, Anya, and Costia turned to see Clarke storming towards them.  It was like something out of the movies.  Lexa had never seen Clarke so angry and Lexa had never wanted to fuck the fury out of Clarke so badly in her life.  Lexa heard both girls beside her whisper "wow" and then look at each other as if they were thinking, "oh god, did I say that out loud?"   

Clarke's steps slowed but she was definitely still in power walk mode.  She leveled the sergeants with steely blue eyes.  While her smile said, "Hi, I'm Clarke Griffin.  I'm respectful and totally not insubordinate."  Clarke's eyes said, "Fuck you guys!"

Anya didn't know if she was scared or turned on.  Maybe a bit of both.  She hadn't talked to Lexa yet about the whole Pinkygate situation but looking at Griffin in all her incensed glory made Anya understand the attraction.  One thing that Anya had to admit was that Clarke's power walk was on point.

Clarke was a few feet in front of them, if she hadn't been so angry she might have laughed at how all three were looking at her, eyes wide and mouths agape.  She was coming to a halt in front of them and began to talk.  

"Sergeant-" 

Lexa watched as Clarke stopped abruptly in front of them only to have the final step slip out from under her.  Clarke's arms flailed frantically as both feet slipped out from under her.  Clarke landed hard on her back and soon found herself looking up at one worried face and two amused faces.  

"So...that just happened."  Anya said, stating the obvious and grinning down at Clarke.

"Is anything hurt?"  A concerned Lexa asked.  

"Just my pride...and maybe my coccyx."  Clarke groaned as she was helped up.

"Is there a reason you're in front of me, Griffin?"  Lexa could see the amusement behind Anya's annoyed facade.  

Like a switch had been flipped, fury returned, blazing in Clarke's eyes as she addressed Anya, "Actually, yes there is.  We have just been moved to the most disgusting hooch on this base.  I can literally see the chlamydia growing on the walls.  We can not stay there.  Why were we even moved?...Sergeant."  

"First of all, your tone, fix it quick, fast, and in a hurry.  Second, I was unaware that you moved.  No one has said anything to me about that.  Who told you to move?"  Anya now understood why Clarke was upset.  There weren't many things to make you happy on Bagram and everyone needed a space that felt home...ish where one could decompress and relax.  

"SGT Jasper."

"Give me a few minutes.  I'll see what's going on."  Anya headed back into the TOC.

"I really want to fuck you right now."  Lexa's raspy voice oozed sex.  Her eyes bore into Clarke's with such intensity that made Clarke instantly wet.  For a moment it was like they were the only two in the world.  Which would explain why she jumped when she heard Costia's voice.

"Yeeeeaaaaah, I'm still here."  

A blush crept up both women's necks and settled on their cheeks.  For a moment they had forgotten where they were, escaping in each other.  They had had limited personal contact since arriving in theater.  They saw each other everyday but they had yet to just be Clarke and Lexa for any amount of time.  It was extremely frustrating to both.  Had it just been Raven and Octavia in the hooch with her, Lexa could have visited many times.  Unfortunately, they had to share the hooch with two other females from another unit.  One of which would listen to the song Barbie Girl on repeat and refused to use headphones.  Raven was working on a solution.  There was no way Clarke could visit Lexa in her hooch.  She was housed with all of the NCO's of their platoon.  They liked to live dangerously but not that dangerously.

While sex would have been most welcome, Clarke just really needed Lexa.  She wanted to lay her head on Lexa's chest and just feel her body against her own.  Lexa felt the same way.  Clarke was home to her and she just wanted to be wrapped in Clarke's warmth.  They craved each other.  Almost as if their souls had once been one entity and had been split between the two of them.  When they were apart the souls fought to be near the other so that they would finally be complete, whole.  That's the only explanation that made sense to Clarke, it explained why they were so magnetic.  

"Sorry, Cos.  I lost myself for a second."  Lexa's smirk made Clarke's knees weak.

"Believe me, I understand."  Costia's devilish grin made the couple laugh, "You still hurting?"

"Not really.  It was probably my karma for not helping Raven when she fell."

"If it makes you feel any better all three of us have slipped and fell today."  

The three settled into an easy conversation that was interrupted by the TOC door being thrown open.  Anya did not look pleased.

"Go get tweddledee and tweddledum and tell them to go back to your original hooch."

An honest to god squeal escaped Clarke's lips, surprising all of them.  

"Never make that noise again, Griffin, or I will throat punch you in the face."  Anya said as she removed her fingers from her ears.  

Clarke threw her thanks over her shoulder to the sergeant as she hurried, carefully this time, towards the syphilis hut.  Anya watched Lexa watch Clarke. In that moment she realized something.  It wasn't just an attraction between them, it was love.  Like sappy, disgusting movie like love that made everyone have unrealistic expectations for how real life love should be.  However, she could see it in Lexa's eyes.  It wasn't unrealistic for them.  It simultaneously made Anya envious of their relationship and want to vomit at how disgustingly sweet it was.  

"Woods, there is something I need to talk to you about."

 

\--

"Clarke, I don't know how to repay you."  Raven's voice carried over the plywood wall separating them to where Clarke was lying in her bed, "Do you need your room cleaned, your weapon cleaned, or a sex slave?  Whatever it is, name it and I'll make Octavia do it."

"The fuck you will, Reyes!"  Raven and Clarke laughed at the vehemence of Octavia's voice.

"Clarke?"  Lexa's voice cut through their banter.

The sound of Octavia and Raven hurrying to their feet preceded their command, "At ease!"  

"Carry on."  Lexa's smooth voice gave Clarke butterflies, "Is it just you three in here?"  Lexa continued after Raven confirmed, "Do you two ladies think you could give me a few minutes alone with Clarke?"

"Of course, take your time.  We'll go to the PX.  Probably take us about 30 minutes.  Unless, for some reason you need more?"  The challenge in Raven's voice was not missed by Clarke and Lexa.

"Thirty minutes is fine.  Get your mind out of the gutter, Raven."  Lexa's smile could be heard in her words as she walked towards Clarke's door and knocked ever so gently.  The sound of Raven and Octavia arguing about whether to go to Burger King or Popeye's was muffled as the door closed behind them.

Clarke's breath hitched when Lexa walked through her door.  Her whole being was vibrating with electricity at the close proximity to her love.  Lexa's lips capturing hers made Clarke feel dizzy and light like she was floating but there was something different about this kiss.  The urgency, the desperation, the panic brought Clarke crashing back down.  Clarke reluctantly removed her lips just enough to look Lexa in the eyes.  

"Baby, whats wrong?"  Clarke asked as she toyed with the baby hairs at the base of Lexa's head.  Her heart sank when Lexa wouldn't meet her eyes.

After a stretch of silence, Lexa finally leveled her gaze on Clarke's,  "I just...I just need you."  Clarke couldn't ever remember seeing Lexa so vulnerable.

 

\--

Bare legs intertwined, bare skin against bare skin, breasts against breasts is how they laid on the twin size bed after the most emotional, passionate love making they had ever had.  Clarke knew something was bothering Lexa but she wasn't going to push.  When Lexa was ready, she would tell her.  Clarke just wanted Lexa to know and feel that Clarke would be there for her no matter what the issue was.  She hated seeing the turmoil in Lexa's beautiful eyes.  

"I need to tell you something."  Lexa whispered into the small space between them.  Clarke's heart sank at Lexa's broken voice, "Anya knows.  After you left earlier she talked to me about it.  Apparently, we aren't that good at hiding our love for each other."  Lexa's small smile didn't negate the feeling of panic within Clarke.  "She's, um, she's moving you to first platoon.  They are getting a new sergeant, he needs a team and-"

"No. I'm not moving."

"Clarke-"

"No, Lexa.  I barely see you as it is and I'm in your team.  If they move me I'll never see you."  Tears had filled her gorgeous blue eyes; the sight broke Lexa's heart.  

She knew that what Clarke was saying was true but, aside from that, she didn't know SGT Collins.  Was he a good sergeant?  Could he protect her?  She didn't know the answer to those questions and that scared the fuck out of her.  She was basically giving her heart, the best part of her, to a complete stranger and hoping for the best. 

"We have no choice, Clarke.  The decision has been made.  You report to first platoon starting tomorrow."  

"Why didn't you fight for us!"  

"I did.  You know I did.  I will always fight for us.  Baby, I know it sucks right now but this will be a good thing."  If only she could convince herself of that too, "Now I'm out of your direct chain of command and we can be together without repercussions.  I mean other than the fact that sex isn't allowed while on deployment and we just broke that rule."  Lexa hoped to break the tension with the small joke.  It didn't work.

The tears were freely falling from Clarke's eyes then.  Lexa did the only thing she could, she held Clarke and let her cry until sleep claimed her and then eventually she was lulled to sleep by the soft cadence of Clarke's breathing.  

 

\--

"You know what I don't understand."  Octavia said to Raven as they walked down Disney towards the PX.  

"The Laws of Physics?  Why fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?  Which arm rest is yours at the movies?  Why there's a 'd' in fridge but not refrigerator?"  Raven spouted off in rapid succession.

"There's a 'd' in your mouth."  Octavia responded.

Before Raven could form a comeback she noticed a rank with a bird on it.  In the Army a rank with a bird is an officer, a full bird Colonel to be exact; pretty high ranking.  Raven and Octavia saluted but it was halted by the two Navy service members .

"We aren't officers."  They said condescendingly as they walked past the two women.  It was then that Raven saw the single chevron attached to the bird.  Raven and Octavia had just saluted two idiots with the same rank as Clarke.  

"Then lose the fucking bird, assholes."  Raven shouted at their backs.

"You told them, feel better?"  Octavia replied sarcastically. "But that actually goes with what I was originally talking about.  We are deployed to a war zone.  Remember in basic how they told us that when we are down range no one is supposed to salute because officers are always targeted first?  Then we get here and we have to salute everyone."

"It was probably because of some butt hurt butter bar straight out of Officer Candidate School (OCS) with a power trip that made a big deal about not being saluted."

"Probably."

"Let's go get food.  We are definitely going to have to give those two longer than thirty minutes.  Clarke owes us.  Thank god we don't work tomorrow or I'd be pissed, I'm fucking sleepy."

 

\--

Lexa and Clarke were startled awake by the blaring noise of Barbie Girl.  The quick jerk awake almost had Lexa falling off the extremely small bed.  Clarke laughed at the slightly panicked look adorning Lexa's face.  Clarke's body and warmth was just too inviting for Lexa to leave, which is why she had fell asleep and wound up in the predicament of having to sneak out.  

"What the fuck?"  Lexa mouthed to a giggling Clarke.

"She refuses to use headphones." Clarke whispered against Lexa's lips.  

"Well, it's sort of a good thing that you have to deal with someone like that.  It teaches you new things and, dare I say, it builds character."  Lexa knew how much Clarke hated that saying but she couldn't help but tease her.  

"You better be glad I love you."

Lexa extricated herself from her goddess to get dressed and, with ninja stealth, snuck out of the b-hut.  She stopped right outside the door, turned around, and stormed back in like she hadn't just been in there naked with her girlfriend not even thirty seconds ago.  

"Who the fuck is making all of that gahdamn noise?"  Lexa tried to maintain the look of anger on her face but was challenged when she heard Clarke's laughter.  

Out stepped a cocky looking specialist.  Her face dropped when she saw the menacing look of the staff sergeant standing before her, "What noise?"

"What noise? That fucking song that is blaring at a volume that the hearing impaired can hear in the States.  We are in a combat zone, sound discipline and situational awareness didn't end because you are behind these walls.   Also, how about you throw in a 'staff sergeant' when you're talking to me.  What unit are you in?  You must not be a MP because if you were you wouldn't be this soup sandwich standing before me.  You need to unfuck yourself before I do it for you or worse, it gets you killed.  Turn that shit off and be more considerate of the other soldiers around you."  

Lexa didn't give her a chance to respond, she turned and walked back outside.  She couldn't help the huge smile that spread across her face but it quickly faded as she remembered why she had originally went to Clarke.

 

\--

"Woods, are you okay?"  Anya looked genuinely worried.

"Is this my friend or my platoon sergeant asking?"  

"You're friend."  Anya clarified while taking a seat next to Lexa on her bed.

"I'm worried.  I can't protect her if I'm not there.  At least being in third platoon meant she would rarely, if at all, leave the wire.  First platoon is always outside the wire.  The chances of something happening to her basically became not an if but a when.  If something happened to her I'd...I'd break."

"You understand why I had to move her, right?  It wasn't a decision I made lightly but in the end we have a mission to complete and regulations to follow.  We have a duty to our people and that comes first.  The mission always comes first.  It is the life of a soldier.  One that we volunteered for.  That being said, speaking as your friend, I am sorry."

"I understand.  You don't have to apologize.  You could have made things worse for us and had us charged.  We got off easy, so thank you for that."  Anya moved to leave Lexa's room but was stopped by Lexa's voice, "Did you figure out why they were told to move earlier?"

"Yeah, Wallace told Jasper that we had received a hut change from the 'mayor'.  He's claiming it was just a little joke.  Don't worry though, I'll handle Wallace.  I'll teach him to not fuck with my soldiers."

 

\--

Lincoln and Monty sat at the table in front of an arguing Octavia and Raven.  By now Lincoln and Monty were used to their friends' antics.  Lincoln and Octavia had been dating long enough for him to know when she was just bantering and when she was legitimately pissed off.  The women's conversation ended when other ears entered their conversation.

"You know, Lincoln.  I've been wondering.  If you have a map and you're navigating people, does that make you a Lincoln Navigator?  What are your thoughts on theaters?  Exciting or just a big headache?  Too soon?"  

"Anyway, not that Raven's questions are fascinating but I wanted to make sure you guys were okay."

"Why wouldn't we be okay?  A bewildered Octavia asked.

"You know, because Clarke is going to first platoon."

"What?!" Both girls screamed in unison before quickly throwing their BK trash away and leaving without saying another word to neither Monty or Lincoln.

"So, I think it's safe to assume that they didn't know about that."  Monty deadpanned as he watched the retreating backs of his friends.  

 

 


	19. Bullets and Bombs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is fairly long. It's like 6700 words. I surprised myself, honestly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few things. Sorry for the delay. Had a lot of stuff going on in my life recently from graduating from college to getting a divorce and a lot of shit in between. It's been crazy. Anyway, this chapter is hella angsty. You're probably not going to be too happy with me at the end of this chapter but I implore you to continue reading when I complete the next chapter which is already started and I promise not to make you wait long for it. There is minor character death in this chapter. Let me know what you think about this chapter. And as always I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Everything in bold are flashbacks and if it is in italics it is either their inner thoughts or they are talking on the radio. 
> 
> MEDEVAC is medical evacuation. HMMWV is High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle (pronounced humvee). I think anything else has been covered in previous chapters. If you have any questions feel free to ask.

**Clarke!  You in here?"  Octavia yelled as she burst through their b-hut door followed by Raven.  Clarke didn't get to respond before the duo pushed open her door and stood before her with wide eyes.  "Is it true?"**

 

**"Unfortunately.  She had no control over-" Clarke was cut off by their annoying hooch mate.**

 

**"Could you guys shut up?  I'm trying to sleep."  The annoyance was very evident in her voice.**

**"You know what...I woke up with only one fuck to give today.  I'm determined to go to bed with that same one fuck.  Which means I give zero fucks if you're trying to sleep!"  Raven shouted towards the ceiling.  Turning towards Clarke she asked, "What happened?"**

**The two girls climbed into the small bed with Clarke as she quietly told them what Lexa had explained to her.  They all were having a hard time with the new development.  They had been together for so long, it was going to be hard to not see each other everyday.  Their job was working in the detention facility (a building that "didn't exist").  The trio rarely left the wire.  Raven had yet to go out on a mission.  With Clarke moving to first platoon she would be constantly going on missions outside the wire.  The thought both excited and terrified her.  They stayed in Clarke's room as long as they could, knowing that the next day everything would change.**

**\--**

 

"Did you hear me, Griffin?"  Clarke was pulled from her memories at the sound of her name coming from SGT Collins.

 

It was 0730 hours and roll out time was 0830.  They had been briefed of their objective, which was to convoy to an Afghani Police Station to train the new officers.  The squad, which consisted of three teams of three, were loading and checking their armored HMMWV near the Company area.   

 

"No, sorry, I was running through the pre-checks."  Clarke lied.  

 

Truth be told, she was in her head a lot those days.  She had been with her new team for about two months and had rarely seen Lexa or her friends.  They were like ships passing in the night.  Occasionally, their one day off a week fell on the same day.  Whether it was with Lexa or Raven and Octavia, they made sure to make the best of those rare days.  

 

It was a bit of an adjustment moving from Lexa's team to Collins'.  Their leadership style was completely different and he wasn't the best team leader.  He was nice enough, Clarke supposed, but she didn't need him to be nice.  She needed him to be a great leader but he wasn't.  Like Clarke, this was his first deployment.  He would consistently forget things for the mission, be indecisive, and get them lost (just a few things on a very long list). He was also a real perv. Numerous times Clarke had caught him staring at her ass or boobs. He had even made numerous sexual remarks towards her; not listening when Clarke would tell him it was inappropriate. He gave Clarke the heebie jeebies.  Clarke had voiced her concerns to Lexa, which caused Clarke to have to physically restrain Lexa from leaving Clarke's room to beat his ass.

**\--**

**"He's going to get you hurt!"  Lexa had practically yelled.**

**Clarke was able to talk her down and make her see that beating him to a bloody mess wouldn't help her in the long run.  They needed to find a way to get her out of his team.  Until then, Clarke would just start practicing her leadership skills, considering that she basically ran the team because her team leader was a complete douche nozzle.**   

**"And no, Raven can't blow him up either."  Clarke yelled out into her hooch when she didn't hear Lexa exit but instead heard hushed whispers.**

**"You never let me have any fun, mom."  Raven had pouted followed by an exasperated growl from Lexa before she left, the door slamming in her wake.**

**\--**

 

"I said that Reyes is going out with us today."  Collins said giving Clarke his, per usual, creepy smirk.  It wasn't that it was creepy; he just rubbed her the wrong way.  

 

"Really?!"  Clarke couldn't hide her excitement at the news.  

 

Clarke missed Raven and was excited that she was going to be with Raven her first time leaving the FOB.  Clarke resumed loading the truck with the equipment they'd need but stopped when she realized that SGT Collins was still standing behind her.  She could feel his eyes on her and it made her skin crawl. Now she wishes she had let Lexa unleash her fury.  Clarke turned to see Collins leering at her.  Eyes firmly glued to the blonde's ass.  

 

\--

 

On the outside, Lexa was the ever stoic Staff Sergeant.  On the inside, Lexa was a nervous wreck.  She was every time Clarke went on a mission.  She had tried to get Clarke moved to a better team leader but no such luck.  Lexa was thankful that she didn't go on missions anymore, she would be so distracted that she was certain she would end up getting herself or someone else killed.  Her thoughts rarely strayed from the blonde haired, blue-eyed vixen.  Lexa savored and treasured the short moments that they were able to steal.  She wasn't sure how she was going to survive the deployment with such limited contact with the one that held her heart and attention.  

 

"Good morning, Staff Sergeant!"  Raven greeted, a little too chipper, in Lexa's opinion.  Then again, she wasn't in the best of moods.

 

"Reyes.  You excited?"  Lexa knew that Raven had wanted to go on a mission.  Finally, after pestering Anya relentlessly, the moody woman finally agreed.  

 

"I am!  Um, but no one really told me any details.  I don't know where I'm supposed to be."

 

"Of course, they didn't."  Lexa had only found out herself earlier that morning.  "Follow me.  You're going with Clarke actually."  Lexa smirked at the squeal that the girl released.

 

Raven dutifully followed the brunette around the corner, pausing when Lexa stopped and pointed in the direction of what looked like a gaggle fuck trucks, equipment, and soldiers.

 

"They are over..." Lexa pointed to the group of trucks but paused at the sight of Clarke, "...there." Instantly, Lexa’s blood boiled over with rage.

 

Before Raven could respond, Lexa was storming towards the group.  Raven was having a hard time keeping up with her without running.  She wasn't sure what had sent Lexa off at a full tilt until she noticed a certain blonde with a certain pain in the ass behind her.

 

\--

 

Clarke opened her mouth to tell SGT Collins off, consequences be damned, but was pleasantly surprised when someone beat her to it.

 

"Collins!"  Lexa yelled with all the authority and power she possessed.  

 

His eyes snapped from their previous location as a look of panic settled on his face.   Clarke was aware of two things: 1. Lexa was smoking hot when she was furious and 2. that she was so wet and turned on by the first observation.   She couldn't help the smirk that took over knowing that Lexa was finally able to unleash all of her pent up aggression towards Collins.  Clarke and Raven were both thankful that they had front row seats to show.

 

"Woods."  Collins tried to sound unaffected by the furious woman before him.

 

"Woods?  Last time I checked I had the title of Staff Sergeant before my name.  Also, last time I checked and I'm pretty sure the regulations haven't changed; you're supposed to be at parade rest when talking to me.  Did you forget your military bearing along with the equipment you forget when you go on missions?"  For Lexa it wasn't a power trip.  

 

Lexa allowed other sergeants to address her informally.  With Collins it was about making him feel the way he made female soldiers feel. Like because he out ranked them he had all of the power.  For Collins it was a power trip, thinking he could get away with his unwanted advances on the female junior enlisted soldiers because they were afraid of the authority that his rank carried.  Only, with Lexa, his rank didn't mean shit.  Collins looked a mixture of embarrassed, pissed, and scared.  

 

"Tell me why that instead of helping your soldiers prepare for the mission or doing any of the million things you should be doing to prepare, you are standing around with your thumb up your ass and your eyes on Clarke's?  Lexa's eyes were blazing with fury.

 

"I-I wasn't. Sh-She-" He stuttered but halted when Lexa stepped into his space.  

 

Their noses were a hairsbreadth away from each other’s. Lexa's eyes met his in the most menacing look that Clarke or Raven had ever seen from the brunette.  Clarke and Raven both had to lean closer to hear the next words that left Lexa's mouth, her voice low but dripping with vehemence.  

 

"Blame her.  Give me a reason to fuck you up. If you want to keep your eyes in your face, I'd suggest you keep them off of her or any girl that doesn't want them on her.  You're a disgrace to the uniform.  If anything happens to them because of you, I will end you."  Lexa finished but stayed in his face, eye contact never wavering.

 

 _God, she is sexy_ , Clarke thought.  

 

 _This bitch!_ Finn thought.

 

 _Fuck..._ Raven thought,  _I forgot my chewing gum!_

 

"Now, be a good little boy and run along."  Lexa smirked as the pissed off sergeant before he about faced and walked away muttering vitriol. 

 

"You know," Raven said from beside Lexa as the trio watched Finn walk away, "I'd like to beat him with my bear hands."  

 

"Me too."  Lexa said without looking at Raven.

 

"No, I don't mean these bare hands."  Raven said as she held up her uncovered hands, "I mean my actual bear hands.  You know...with claws and stuff."

 

This finally got Lexa's attention, "You're an odd one, Reyes. Why would someone have…never mind, I don’t want to know."

 

Clarke's laughter at her friend quieted when Lexa's eyes met hers.  They were lost in their own little world.  Nothing and everything was said in that moment.  Raven felt uncomfortable, like she was interrupting an intimate moment that she shouldn't be privy to.  

 

"Well, I'm going to go check that...thing.  You guys-"

 

"Reyes, just go."  Lexa said, still not taking her eyes off of Clarke.

 

"Roger, Staff Sergeant.  Going."  Raven said as she awkwardly rushed off.

 

"She's so weird."  Lexa said through her smile.

 

"But we love her anyway. I miss-" Clarke's declaration was cut off as Raven came to an abrupt halt beside them.

 

"Alsoyouguysarereallyclosetoeachotherandthislookslessthaninnocentokaybye."  There was no break in between Raven's words as she unleashed them all in one breath before rushing away again.

 

It was quite comical.  Lexa took a step back but they didn't take their eyes off of each other.  They had forgot about their surroundings, being lost in each other tended to have that affect on them.  Lexa didn't want her to go.  She wanted Clarke there with her.  Clarke didn't want to go.  She wanted to be with Lexa.  One day their duty to their people would be over and wouldn't keep them apart.  Unfortunately, one day was not that day.  

 

"Please be careful today. Come back to me."  Lexa plead as her smile faltered. The thought of anything happening to the blonde made Lexa's heart literally hurt.  She didn't know if the bad feeling in the pit of her stomach was from her run in with Collins, her apprehension of Clarke going on a mission with him, or her spidey senses telling her something was wrong.  

 

"I will.  My every reason is standing right in front of me."  Clarke wanted to kiss Lexa so badly but knew it wouldn't be possible.  She'd have to wait until she got back from the mission.  Clarke grimaced as she felt, not for the first time that day, a wave of nausea hit her.

 

"Are you okay?"  Lexa asked with a concerned look.

 

"Yeah, I'm good.  It's just my stomach.  I don't know. I kind of feel off, I guess."

 

Before Lexa could reply she heard Anya yelling for her.  She looked at Clarke apologetically, "I gotta..." Lexa said while pointing her thumb behind her to where an annoyed Anya stood sending them eye daggers.  "I'll see you when you get back."  

 

Lexa took a few steps backward before turning and walking away.  Clarke watched her heart walk a few steps before she stopped and turned back around.  Clarke returned the big smile that was on Lexa's face.  Clarke's smile grew and her breath caught at the words that slipped from Lexa's lips, loud enough for Clarke to hear but too low for anyone else.

 

"I'm going to marry you one day."

 

\--

 

Clarke kept replaying that moment over and over in her head.  Lexa's smile, her voice, the sun shining on her face and in her hair, and her words were on loop.  Clarke's smile felt like it would permanently be there.  She thought it crazy that in a war torn land so far from home she was still happy and when she was with Lexa she felt like she was home.  Clarke smiled, feeling the wind on her face.  That was one of the reasons she liked being the gunner and in the turret.  It was scary and exhilarating at the same time.  Plus, she didn't have to be in the front with SGT Collins.  

 

Luckily, Emerson was already the team driver when Clarke was transferred.  Clarke spun the turret around looking around. She could see the two trucks behind them.  SGT Roan was in the truck directly behind hers.  She had only really talked to him that day but she had decided rather quickly that she liked him and respected him.  She couldn't say the same about Collins.  SGT Niylah was the last truck. She hadn’t really talked to the woman but from what she had observed and what she knew of the woman’s reputations, she liked her and respected her. Clarke wished daily that she would have been placed in one of their teams instead of the one she was in now.

 

There was no snow on the ground and the desert landscape left a lot to be desired.  There were short distances of just flat land followed by mountainous areas.  She knew that parts of Afghanistan were really pretty.  Not where they were at, though.  

 

Clarke was rudely pulled from her musings. Raven heard Clarke's voice in her ear thanks to the headsets they all wore.  

 

"Seriously, Reyes.  Stop poking me in my ass."  Clarke was seated on a strap with her butt parallel to Raven's head.

 

"Sorry, but it's bor-"

 

"Don't you even fucking say ~~boring~~ that word!  You will jinx us!"  Emerson all but yelled at Raven.

 

"I'll never understand why the military is so gahdamn superstitious."  Raven muttered to herself but was heard by the rest of the team.

 

"Because we-" Emerson's train of thought derailed as a portion of the road in front and to the right of them exploded upwards with a loud booming noise and a strong force that shook them violently and sent chunks of asphalt, rocks, and dirt thirty feet into the air.  

 

"Fuck!" Emerson yelled as the shockwave shook them all to the core.

 

"Go! Go! Go! Get out of the kill zone!"  Clarke screamed as Emerson floored the gas on the debris covered, slightly damaged HMMWV. Collins looked like a deer caught in the headlights and offered no direction to his team. Useless was the term that came to mind.

 

Everything was dark and dusty.  Clarke could barely see, barely hear, and she was pretty sure that she had broken her nose.  The explosion affected her slightly more since she was more in the open.  It hadn't been a direct hit, Clarke was thankful for that, but the shock wave and the loudness of the IED still hurt them.

 

"Is everyone okay?"  Raven heard Clarke ask.  Everyone answered in the affirmative.

 

"Clarke you're bleeding!"  Raven's eyes were wide as she unbuckled to look up at Clarke through the turret opening.  

 

"I'm fine, Rey.  Just a little scratch."  In reality, Clarke's head was hurting, her face was hurting, and she was sure that her eardrums had burst from the force.  

 

Had she not had the headset, she would not have been able to hear any of her team.  The air was still dusty and visibility was greatly reduced.  She could hear SGT Collins calling in the IED contact, giving the grid coordinates of the location.  The chatter on the radio was indecipherable as it filled the truck.

 

Raven wasn’t so sure she wanted to be on a mission anymore. While the thought of it all was exciting, the execution was terrifying. _What the fuck have I got myself into._

 

\--

 

Lexa was in the TOC discussing schedules for the upcoming week when chatter on the radio caught her attention.  She didn't hear that right.  She couldn't have possibly heard that right.  Lexa's heart stopped for what seemed like a lifetime.  Her eyes focused on the radio like it held all the secrets of the universe.  In that moment it held all the answers to her life.  

 

"Was that Collins?"  Anya could hear the panic in Lexa's voice.  "Did he just say IED contact?"  

 

Anya and Costia had heard him loud and clear.  They knew that Lexa had, too.  

 

"Come on Lex, we need to get out of here."  Costia said reaching for her friend.

 

Lexa stood up abruptly and headed to the radio officer monitoring all the channels, "I'm not leaving."

 

Lexa's world stopped turning.  For the radio being so loud, everything was so quiet.  All Lexa could think about was blue eyes; blue eyes that she needed to see.  She felt her world start again when Collins’ voice crackled over the radio to confirm there was no casualties and all equipment was functioning.  Lexa let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding.  

 

\--

 

The problem with driving when you can't really see is that you can't really see.  Clarke was squinting trying to see the road and help Emerson navigate to get them out of the area.  Clarke felt the second IED detonate below her before she heard it.  That IED was bigger and on target.  Everything was black.

 

\--

 

SGT Roan watched in horror as the road under the truck in front of him blew up sending the truck spinning about 15 feet into the air.  They had been lucky the first time.  This time, he knew they wouldn't be as lucky.  If anyone lived, they were blessed...or possibly cursed.

 

"Oh fuck!"  Roan yelled.  Roan began calling in the second IED contact.  Silently praying that the team survived.  “Everyone look alive, we’re in the kill zone.”

 

"Contact three o'clock!" His gunner, SPC Quint, yelled as he unleashed 6 to 9 round bursts from his mounted 50 cal machine gun. _Sexy, nice, round breasts._ He repeated on loop. It was a phrase he was taught so he could remember the rate at which to fire his weapon.

 

The air was filled with smoke, dust, screams, and rapid pops of gunfire.  They were being ambushed. They would later be told that the first IED had been detonated prematurely, it was meant for the last truck. The second IED was meant for the first truck. Had the attack gone according to plan, SGT Roan’s team would have been caught in the middle, out gunned and out manned.

 

\--

 

Clarke came to lying on her side in the turret, her legs dangling out of the turret opening pointed towards the ground, which happened to also be the passenger side door.  Her ears were ringing, her vision was blurry, she was very confused, she had a horrible pain where her ribs were on the right side of her body, and her legs were stinging.  She tried to move but felt like the weight of the world was on her...literally.  It was hard to breath due to the amount of smoke and dust in the air but also because of the blinding pain she felt when she tried to inhale.  

 

 _Okay Clarke. Focus.  Remember what you learned in Med School. Some of your ribs are broken, you have a concussion, your eardrums are definitely perforated, and your legs_...Clarke looked down to check her legs.  Past her torn and bloody pants...   _Raven_!

 

The shrill ringing in her ears was diminishing and being replaced by screams and moans of pain, some being her own.

 

\--

 

" _Xray one is hit. I say again, Xray one is hit.  Second IED contact.  Direct hit."_ The radio went static and crackled. _“Champion 6 this is Xray 2. Contact! Contact! Taking small arms fire."_

 

Lexa stood from her chair.  She felt helpless.  She didn't know what to do.  She wanted to drive like a mad woman to Clarke and destroy those that would hurt her but she knew she couldn't.  Helpless.  

 

"Xray one...that's Collins' truck, right?"  Lexa asked, her eyes wild and panicked. "Answer me!"

 

"Lexa, you don't need to be in here."  Anya whispered in her ear.  Anya didn't know if Clarke was alive or dead but if she was dead Anya didn't want Lexa to be burdened with the memories of hearing the death of the woman she loved.  

 

"No! Let me go! I have to know! I have to know!"  Lexa fought Anya and Costia as they pulled her towards the door.  

 

Anya paused, she wasn't sure if she was making the right decision but Lexa looked so broken.  As her friend, Anya would do anything for Lexa.  In that moment she was Anya the friend, not the Sergeant First Class. 

 

"Okay, Lexa but sit here and not interfere.  Just listen.  Promise me.  Otherwise you have to leave.

 

Costia could see the tears pooling in Lexa's green eyes as she looked up and nodded to Anya.  Lexa's eyes focused on the radio with an intensity that Costia had never seen.  Lexa had never felt pain like she was feeling.  Her heart was hurting, she felt like she was going to throw up.  She wanted to scream, cry, throw things, and punch something.  Above all of that, she just wanted Clarke to be back in her arms alive and unharmed.  Lexa looked down at the watch adorning her wrist and traced her fingertip around its face. A lump formed in Lexa’s throat as she tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

 

Snap shots of their life together flashed in her mind.  Clarke's smile the very first night they met, the feel of Clarke's lips on hers as they kissed in the rain.  Lying in bed together talking about nothing and everything.  The way the moonlight cascaded across Clarke's face as she slept, on her stomach with the sheet loosely covering her lower body.  This couldn't be the end.  They were supposed to be together, to live happily ever after.  

 

\--

 

"Raven!"  Clarke yelled, probably louder than need be. "Raven, are you okay!  Oh God!  Please be okay."  Clarke was trying to move but was having extreme difficulty.  She could here the weapons firing in the background but at that moment her priority was Raven.

 

"Clarke?"  Raven's weak voice reached Clarke's ears.

 

"I'm coming, Rey.  Are you okay?”  

 

Clarke had to find a way to drop down without landing on Raven. She angled her body and legs away from Raven and tried to gingerly lower herself down. Clarke’s was weak from the trauma her body had just been through and it caused her grip to slip. She landed hard on the ground, compressing her broken ribs. Clarke let out a small yelp, trying to stay strong for her friend, but on the inside all she wanted to do was cry and scream in pain.

 

“What's hurting? Can you get up?"  

 

"My back hurts really badly."  Raven’s meek voice confessed and Clarke could see why.  A piece of metal shrapnel the size of an iPad was lodged where Clarke knew the spine to be just below where her vest stopped.  “And just for the record, I didn’t say ~~boring~~ that word so you can’t blame this on me. I didn’t jinx us.”

 

Clarke chuckled and winced at the pain it produced, “Shut up, idiot. Rey can you feel any other pain?"  Clarke continued when Raven's quiet 'no' reached her, "Can you move your legs, feet, or toes?"

 

"Clarke.  Clarke! No, I can't feel them!  Are they still there?  Clarke, are my legs still there?!"  Raven was too scared to look.  

 

"It's okay, Raven.  They are still there.  You have a piece of metal in your back.  That's probably why you can't feel them.  Just try and not move.  It could make it worse."

 

Clarke couldn’t let herself think about what that meant for Raven. She had to stay focused because if she didn’t she would realize how terrified she was and how close to death they truly were. She promised Lexa was going to make it back to her. Green eyes flashed in Clarke’s mind.   She was going to make it back, determined to see those eyes she loved again.

 

\--

 

**Clarke could hear Lexa’s strong heartbeat beneath her ear. Lexa’s fingertips left feather light traces across Clarke’s bare back causing goose bumps to cover her skin. Clarke’s head was on Lexa’s bare chest as she traced pictures from her memory with her fingertip onto Lexa’s skin below her collarbone. They had just made love and were basking in the after glow. Lexa felt so perfect, so right in Clarke’s arms.**

**“What are you thinking about?” Clarke asked, knowing Lexa’s thoughts had turned serious. She could practically her Lexa’s worry.**

**“You.” Lexa stated simply.**

**“What about me?” Clarke lifted off of Lexa’s chest to look her in the eyes.**

**“When we are over there…if you ever find yourself in…danger, remember your training. Stay focused and don’t panic. You have to stay calm, okay. A calm mind makes better decisions than a panicked one.” Lexa held Clarke’s eyes to convey the seriousness of what she was telling her.**

**“Don’t be scared, baby. I will always come back to you. I promise.”**

**Clarke’s lips gently touched Lexa’s as she tried to convey everything she felt through that kiss. Lexa deepened it, her tongue requesting access to its most desired place. Before Clarke could grant it, Lexa had quickly rolled Clarke onto her back and straddled her hips before pulling back and smiling down at Clarke.**

**“You better or else I’ll have to…” Lexa looked to the ceiling as though she was searching for the most perfect consequence.**

**“Or else you’ll have to what?” Clarke’s cocky smile dropped as Lexa’s eyes took on a devious glow.**

**“I’ll have to do this!” Lexa yelled before holding Clarke’s hands above her head and tickling her.**

**Lexa and Clarke’s combined laughter filled the room as Lexa continued Clarke’s welcomed torture.**

**\--**

 

Raven’s painful moan pulled Clarke out of her memories. She felt something wet repeatedly drip onto her hand before she realized that she was crying. _No! I have to be strong right now. I can fall apart later._

 

Clarke called out to Emerson and Collins, "are you guys okay? Hey—"  Clarke stopped when the bloodied bodies of her team came into view. Clarke could only hear the blood rushing through her veins and the hard pounding of her heart in that moment. The image of her bloodied and battered team would be one that would haunt her for the rest of her days.  

 

"Are they alive?"  Came Raven's weak voice.  Raven heard Clarke gasp and knew the answer before Clarke said anything.

 

"No." Clarke whispered.

 

"Clarke, I don't want to die."  Tears began to fall from both Raven and Clarke's eyes.

 

"You're not, do you understand me?  We are going to get out of here and we are going to go home.  Do you hear me, Raven Reyes?  We are not dying in this place!  I'm not going to let you die in these fucking mountains!"  The broken crackle of their radio got Clarke's attention.  She was not going to let them die.  

 

\--

 

" _Xray 2, Xray 1._ "  Roan heard over the sound of his weapon returning fire.  

 

" _X...1, ...2.  Are...”_ Clarke cursed the shitty radio.  Hopefully, they would be able to hear her even if she could only get every few words from them.

 

" _Xray 2 you are broken and unreadable.  Our radio is damaged.  God I hope you can hear me. Break...We need a MEDEVAC.  SGT Collins and PFC Emerson are KIA.  Break...Reyes has shrapnel to the spine unable to feel legs_. _Break…We are pinned down by small arms fire. And ahhh—_ " The radio went silent after Clarke’s scream filled the truck.

 

It was the longest 45 seconds before Clarke’s voice was again sounding through the speaker, _“I’m hit. Fuck, I’m hit! Get us the fuck out of—”_

\--

 

Lexa’s knees were bouncing and her hands wrung uncontrollably. She was leaning forward in her chair with her elbows on her shaking knees and her wringing hands against her mouth. Her eyes were focused on the floor in front of her with an intensity that could set it on fire. A million thoughts were running through her mind, all of them about Clarke. She was relieved to hear Clarke’s voice on the radio.

 

 _She’s alive; she’s going to be okay. She’s alive._ Lexa kept telling herself over and over.

  

Costia watched her best friend, the turmoil pooling in Lexa’s eyes spilled over and slid down her cheeks. Costia was used to seeing Lexa with her stoic mask in place. Her heart broke for the brunette. She wanted to do something, anything to help her but Costia didn’t know what to do. She wanted to say something but what do you say to someone that was listening to the love of their life in a life or death situation.

 

The whole room was tense. Cpt. Kane and 1SG Indra had arrived to the TOC after the initial contact. They, like everyone else in the room had their eyes glued to the radio. All of them hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

 

Lexa could hear Clarke’s voice. It was strong but sounded labored. It may not have sounded different to the others in the room but to Lexa, it did. She knew that voice like her own. Clarke was hurt.   Lexa’s eyes shot from the floor to the radio at the sound of Clarke’s scream.

 

Anya could see the panic and devastation in Lexa’s eyes. Anya was feeling distressed herself. She couldn’t imagine the consternation that Lexa was feeling.

 

 _“I’m hit. Fuck…”_ Clarke’s sheer panicked voice bellowed through the speaker.

 

Lexa was up and moving towards the radio before she realized that she had even moved. Like her body had a mind of its own. It knew that Clarke was in peril and it needed to get to her.

 

Lexa knew that the MEDEVAC would be unable to land near the contact site without an armed escort due to the overwhelming amount of enemy fire. She knew what the other two teams had to do, send as much fire power they had downrange, get all casualties and sensitive items, and break contact. She knew that once they were at a safe location they could get a MEDEVAC. She knew all of this but it didn’t stop the girlfriend side of her brain from thinking that nobody was doing anything. The soldier side knew that what was being done was what could be done. If only she could convince the girlfriend side that was scared and tormented.

 

\--

 

Clarke screamed and dropped the radio as a barrage of bullets hit their destroyed truck. Clarke threw herself over Raven to protect her from any rounds.  She could hear the bullets whizzing past her and hitting the metal of the truck.  It almost sounded like someone was throwing rocks at the truck.  

 

“Oomph! Jeez Clarke. I know you want me but you don’t have to throw yourself at me.” Raven joked. She wasn’t exactly fully conscious or completely aware of everything that was going on. The blood loss and the shock waves from the two blasts had a way of messing with ones cognition.

 

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” Clarke repeated as she tried to cover as much of Raven with herself as possible, paying no attention to what the girl under her had said.

 

Clarke felt like a sledgehammer had hit her on the right side of her back below the plate of her body armor. Followed by what felt as if someone had stuck a red-hot poker through her back to her abdomen. The pain and pressure was almost unbearable, worse than anything she had ever felt. The nausea hit her instantly.

 

“Clarke? What happened?!” Raven asked, trying to turn to see her blonde friend. She let out a frustrated, pained scream when she couldn’t.

 

“Oh God! Ugh! I think I just got shot. Fuck. Oh my God…this hurts…so fucking bad!” Clarke was gripping Ravens baggy uniform and clenching her teeth trying to focus on anything but the incredible pain.

 

Raven’s hand found Clarke’s and gripped it, “I love you, Clarke.”

 

Clarke’s hand squeezed Raven’s as she returned the sentiment, “I love you too, Raven.”

 

Neither of them said it but both knew what they were doing. They didn’t know how that day was going to end and, if their fight was over, they didn’t want it to end without the other knowing.

 

Clarke picked up the radio and yelled into it, praying they could hear her. She could barely see, barely breath, barely hear, barely move, and the blood loss was making her want to go to sleep.  She felt warmth gliding down her thighs and pooling around her knees. She couldn’t stop flailing and screaming trying anything and everything to end the agonizing pain.

 

Raven had never heard such a blood curdling sound from anyone in her entire life. She was in and out of it but she knew that Clarke was in serious trouble and serious pain.

 

Clarke was finishing her radio call when a second sledgehammer collided with the back of her head causing everything to go black and silent.

 

\--

 

Roan stared at the radio, willing Clarke’s voice to come blaring from the speaker, “ _Xray 1? Xray 1? Griffin?!”_

 

Roan’s team pulled up beside the smoking, destroyed truck that was on its side. He could see, through the turret opening, one bleeding soldier slumped over another. He quickly entered the truck noticing quickly who the two soldiers were. Reyes was barely conscious but alive. Clarke looked pale and covered in blood.

 

\--

 

Lexa’s heart and mind were racing. _Come on, baby. Answer the radio. Clarke, please!_

The small spark of hope that Lexa felt when the radio static was interrupted was extinguished when Roan’s voice came over the MEDEVAC frequency. Lexa’s heart crumbled with every word that came in the form of Roan’s voice asking for an urgent MEDEVAC for two female soldiers. The lump in Lexa’s throat grew and became painful as she tried to keep her emotions in check.

 

 _“Bravo five this is Xray two, request 9 line MEDEVAC.”_ Roan’s voice sounded so far away as he went line by line giving the pertinent information.

 

Lexa felt frozen in place. She didn’t know what to do. Not knowing the specifics was driving Lexa mad. Her mind kept giving her the worse case scenarios but her heart kept giving her the best-case scenarios. __

Anya and Costia listened to the situation unfold with a sense of dread and fear. They knew for sure that two of their fellow soldiers had lost their lives and now two others were fighting for theirs. The situation was made worse by the knowledge that Lexa and Clarke were together and in love. They could see Lexa angrily wiping at the few tears that dared to escape from her eyes. They could see Lexa trying to hold it together, trying to remain stoic. Anya and Costia knew Lexa; they knew she was broken inside.

 

_“Champion 6 this is Xray 2, over.”_

Cpt. Kane walked to the mic and sat down. His heart was heavy. It was never a good feeling to lose someone that was in his command, that he was tasked to lead. Kane exhaled slowly before keying the mic.

 

_“Xray 2 this is Champion 6, send it. Over.”_

Lexa knew that Roan was sending in his casualty report. It felt like time had stopped as she awaited the details she knew were to follow.

 

 _Dup-dup, dup-dup, dup-dup._ Lexa’s heartbeat was all she could hear for what seemed like an eternity.

 

_“Champion 6 SGT Collins and PFC Emerson are KIA. PFC Reyes is in critical condition, spine injury and major blood loss. Break…”_

_Dup-dup, dup-dup, dup-dup._

_“SPC Griffin is in extremely critical condition has two gunshot wounds, one in the back and one to the head. Major blood loss. Over.”_

Lexa’s knees buckled under the weight of the world. Two sets of arms wrapped around her and she was slightly aware of Kane telling Roan to be safe returning to Bagram. She felt a profound sense of sorrow, one that caused her whole being to hurt and shake. Lexa had no thought process; she couldn’t articulate anything. All she knew was that her every nerve, every cell, everything was in anguish. Her eyes were closed so tightly but the tears still managed to rain down. She could feel her two friends gently rocking her as they whispered encouraging things in her ears. Lexa didn’t want them, she wanted Clarke; blue eyed, blonde hair, Clarke. Lexa held the watch that had been on her wrist to her heart as she silently prayed that God take her instead of Clarke.

 

\--

 

**“I’m going to marry you one day.” Lexa’s smile grew bigger at the surprise and adoration she witnessed in Clarke’s eyes when Lexa had told her that. The blonde’s smile was mega watt.**

**Lexa turned around to continue her trek back but stopped at Clarke calling her name. When she turned around Clarke was jogging towards her.   Lexa watched as Clarke removed the ‘too big for her wrist’ watch that she always wore.**

**“I want you to hold onto this for me.” Clarke said handing Lexa the gold watch.**

**“Baby, no that was your father’s.”**

**“I know. I’m not giving it to you, you are just holding onto it for me for a little bit. But also, think of it as me ‘putting a ring on it’.” Clarke said with a wink.**

**“Oh, are we going steady now? Is this the equivalent to your lettermen’s jacket or class ring, Danny Zuko?” Lexa teased.**

**Lexa noticed Clarke bit her bottom lip and Lexa wanted nothing more than to be the one doing that. She knew how important the watch was to Clarke. To the outsider it probably seemed cheesy and weird but Lexa understood the importance and the meaning. She didn’t know it was possible but the love in her heart for Clarke grew even more.**

**“I’m going to marry you one day, too.” With that Clarke turned and walked back to her truck, once looking over her shoulder to mouth, “I love you” to Lexa before turning back away from her.**

**Lexa smiled and looked down at the beat up watch in her hands. God she loved that woman.**

**“Woods! James Cameron has literally made _Titanic 2: Jack’s Revenge_ in the time it has taken you to get your ass over here. Let’s go, we have shit. Ta. Do!” **

**Lexa looked back at Clarke one more time and thought about how lucky and how in love she was.**

 

**\--**

 

Lexa kept replaying the image of Clarke turning to look over her shoulder, her beautiful smile and the shining glint in her eyes as her lips formed the words "I love you."  It played over and over in slow motion.   _This can't be how our story ends._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry! Clexa will live to fight another day!


	20. Life Support

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, posting within a week! Hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think. There will probably be like 4 more chapters, give or take a couple. 
> 
> UCMJ: Uniform Code of Military Justice-the laws that govern the military
> 
> CASH: Combat Army Support Hospital

“Greene, take her to the CASH.” Anya calmly ordered.

 

Anya knew that she was going to have to explain Lexa’s breakdown. It had been witnessed by Captain Kane and 1SG Indra, there was no covering the situation up.

 

Costia helped Lexa up, who was leaning heavily on her. Before Costia could lead her to the door Lexa straightened herself to her full height. Costia was taken aback by the transformation. Lexa, the devastated girlfriend, morphed into SSG Woods, the soldier. It was fascinating and quite unsettling. Had it not been for the red eyes and tear streaked face, Costia would not have been able to tell that Lexa had just been destroyed. Costia understood. Being a woman in the military is not easy. Women are viewed, by many, as weaker and unfit to lead.   Should anyone have seen Lexa being an emotional wreck, it would have severely damaged how she was viewed as a soldier and as a leader. Like she was supposed to be a robot with no feelings. Lexa took a deep, slow, steadying breath and marched out the door, Costia in her wake.

 

“Do you want to tell us what that was all about?” Indra said with her arms crossed but her expression was one of curiosity not of judgment.

 

Anya puffed out her cheeks as she exhaled, ”Love.”

 

\--

 

Lexa’s stride had Costia jogging to keep up with her. Purpose and tension was flowing off of Lexa in waves.   She paused abruptly, causing Costia to crash into the back of her, in front of the area that third platoon was using to clean their weapons.

 

“Blake, with me. SGT Jasper take care of her weapon, please, and find someone to cover her shift tonight...and tomorrow.” Lexa said hoarsely. Her throat was raw and rough from holding the lump in her throat at bay.

 

Octavia slowly handed her weapon to Jasper, looking over at Lincoln with a concerned look. _Fuck what did I do now? No, what did Raven do that I’m going to get blamed for._

“Blake! Did you forget how to move with a purpose? Lets go!” Lexa yelled before storming off, not even waiting for the stunned girl.

 

Octavia had never, _never,_ seen Lexa that angry.   It was truly intimidating and scary. _Has she been crying?_ Octavia stumbled over different people that littered the ground with their weapons apart, pieces strewn around them. She sprinted towards the two, falling in stride with them. She had no idea what was going on and, honestly, she was too scared to ask.   Octavia glanced over at Lexa and realized that, while her posture and face looked superior and stoic as it usually did, her eyes looked haunted with that thousand-yard stare. Lexa was physically next to her but her mind was definitely somewhere else. Octavia heard Costia groan and followed her line of sight to see SSG Wallace walking towards them. Octavia’s groan joined Costia’s in harmony.

 

Cage’s smug smirk appeared on his face when he noticed the tear streaks, “What happened, Lexa? Did Griffin break up with you?”

 

It all happened really fast.

 

“Lexa, no!” Octavia heard Costia yell.

 

Octavia could see that Lexa was no longer somewhere else. Her eyes were murderous as her right fist connected with Cage’s smirk, followed by her left fist connecting with his nose. The sickening crunch of a bone snapping and the sound of knuckles hammering flesh reverberated through the air.

 

Lexa wasn’t thinking. She was fueled by rage. There wasn’t any conscious thought about right or wrong. In that moment, she hated Cage Wallace and, in the words of M’Lynn from _Steel Magnolias,_ she wanted to “hit somebody ‘til they [felt] as bad as [she] did.” Cage Wallace just happened to be the first asshole Lexa ran into.

 

Cage was knocked on his pretentious ass by the force of Lexa’s hits. He didn’t have time to defend himself or even consider what was happening. Lexa straddled him high on his chest, landing blow after blow to his face. Cage connected his fists to Lexa’s face a couple times but it didn’t seem to affect Lexa in the slightest. Octavia was stunned, to say the least. She stood rooted in her spot, eyes wide as saucers, just starring at Lexa.

 

“Octavia! Help me!” Costia yelled while trying to pull Lexa off of Cage, shaking Octavia from her stupor.

 

_What the fuck is going on?! Clarke and Raven are going to be so mad they missed this!_

_\--_

“Oh…love. Well, that makes sense.” Kane said walking towards Anya, taking a seat at the table near her. He motioned for both Indra and Anya to join him.

 

“Tell us what you know.” Indra stated. It was not a request.

 

Anya began from the beginning. She went through the series of events, never lying but also not making it as damning as it could have been. It was a very touchy, no pun intended, situation. When she was finished they all three sat in silence for a few minutes; both Kane and Indra processing all of the information they had been given. Anya took that as a good sign considering they hadn’t immediately demanded UCMJ action.

 

“Well, you did the right thing in moving Clarke. Your discretion was also right. SSG Woods is one of the finest soldiers that I’ve had the honor to command. I know that this isn’t something she would have entered into lightly. With that being said, who am I to interfere with love. You have corrected the situation, so I don’t see why there needs to be anymore corrective actions. I am going to speak with Woods about all of this at a later date.” Kane paused and a sad look crossed his face, “Even if I felt that there needed to be additional corrective action, I think that hearing the love of your life battling for theirs is more than any punishment she should have received.” He shook his head, recalling the terror lacing all of Griffin’s radio calls and the distraught cries from Woods. He was certain that those sounds would haunt his dreams for a very long time.

 

Indra shook her head in agreement. What was done was done and SFC Anya had done what she was supposed to do. They all three stood and made their way to the door. They needed to meet the two injured soldiers at the CASH. They just hoped that Griffin and Reyes could hold on and continue their fight.

 

 

\--

 

“Lexa, stop! He’s not worth it. Look at me. Look at me!” Costia said as she tried to hold Lexa back from hitting Cage in the face with some more justice. She cupped Lexa’s cheeks and forced Lexa’s wild and angry eyes to look at hers.

 

Octavia still had no idea why Lexa was so angry or why she had beaten the shit out of SSG Wallace. Don’t get her wrong, she hated Wallace and was glad that someone had finally hit that bitch but she just didn’t understand why today.   So she just watched on in confusion as SSG Greene attempted to calm the raging woman.   Whatever she had said to Lexa had worked because Octavia saw Lexa visibly shift from fury to concern.  

 

“Octavia, take SSG Woods to the CASH. I’ll deal with this disaster.” Costia said looking down at a bloodied SSG Wallace.

 

Octavia was too afraid to say anything so she nodded and fell into step next to Lexa. Lexa’s breath was ragged and Clarke could see tears forming in her eyes and bruises forming on her knuckles.

 

Lexa felt sick to her stomach. She had never lost control like that. Lexa was always so in control of her emotions but it was like her dam had broken and now everything was flooding through. She was sure there would be some very serious repercussions for assaulting the SSG but, honestly, she felt it had been worth it and she didn’t care at that point.   She needed to get to Clarke. Lexa could feel her heart pounding in her chest and wondered how her shattered heart still continued to beat.

 

“Um…SSG Woods. Is everything okay?” Octavia asked tentatively.

 

Lexa slowed her strides and looked at Octavia out of the corner of her eye. _Of course she doesn’t know._ “No, everything is far from okay. “ The painful lump returned to Lexa’s throat and it made it difficult for the words to come but she forced herself to tell Octavia. Lexa noted that, at hearing the new information, Octavia’s strides became longer and faster.

 

“No, no, no.   This can’t be happening!” Before Lexa could stop her, Octavia broke out into a sprint. She needed to see her friends, her family.

 

\--

 

Kane, Indra, and Anya were perplexed at the sight before them.   SSG Greene leaning over SSG Wallace, who had seen better days.

 

“What happened here?” 1SG Indra’s tone left no doubt of her anger.

 

Costia opened her mouth to tell them exactly what had happened but was cut off by a very nasally sounding Wallace.

 

“I…uh…I tripped and fell on my face.” Cage said unconvincingly. His pride prevented him from telling the truth. He couldn’t have everyone know that he had been beat up by a _girl_.   _That bitch will get hers, soon._

 

Indra and Kane didn’t believe him for a second but they didn’t have time to deal with him. Neither of them really liked the guy anyway. They told Anya to stay back to ensure that Cage didn’t need any medical attention before they briskly made their way to their wounded soldiers.

 

Any waited until they both were out of ear shot before she started her questioning, “So now that we know that you suck at lying, lets hear the real story.”

 

Costia didn’t allow Cage to interrupt her as she told Anya every detail of what happened. Costia could see the wrath in the blonde girl as she finished relaying the information.

 

Anya squatted in front of the sitting Cage Wallace, her voice low and threatening, “Listen, fuck stick! If you don’t take your head out of your fourth point of contact I’m going to rip your tiny testicles from you and then tea bag you with your own nuts. Got it? You’re going to keep this story you told the Captain and you’re also going to leave Woods alone, understand? You don’t want me to thunderfuck your world up.”

 

Cage looked furious but he agreed nonetheless. He’d never admit it, but Anya scared the hell out of him. He knew that she would follow through on her threats and he liked having his testicles right where they were.

 

“Just so you know, not that you care, Griffin’s patrol has hit. Reyes and Griffin are fighting for their lives right now and Collins and Emerson are dead. Next time you might not want to be the complete douche that you seem to always be.” Costia said with disdain as she looked down at Cage.

 

“I didn’t know that. How was I supposed to know that?” Surprisingly Cage’s expression changed into one of disbelief.

 

“Lets go Greene. He can take himself to the medic.” Anya didn’t care if he had known or not. It didn’t change the fact that Cage was a pain in the ass and deserved every hit. She inwardly smirked to herself. Cage looked a mess; it was great!

 

\--

 

Lexa sat next to the injured blonde lying in the hospital bed with wires and machines all around.   Clarke had just got out of surgery. She had lost a lot of blood but the bullet that had penetrated the lower right quadrant of her back hadn’t hit any organs or major blood vessels. Miraculously, the bullet that had hit her head had not penetrated her skull. The Advanced Combat Helmet (ACH) had taken most of the damage. It had caused her head to bleed profusely from the wound and had caused a major concussion, as well as, a small skull fracture. It could have been a lot worse. That ACH had potentially saved her life.

 

Kane, Indra, and Anya were standing by Clarke, listening to the Army doctor giving them the breakdown of all the injuries that plagued the pale, broken girl in front of them.   Lexa had yet to look at the doctor. She couldn’t take her eyes off of Clarke. She looked so small in the big hospital bed. Tubes were running out of her head, arms, and hands. She looked more like Neo from the Matrix when he wakes up in the slimy egg thing. Clarke’s complexion was even more pale than normal and her eyes had dark circles beneath them and looked sunken in. Lexa still thought she was the most beautiful person in the history of ever. Lexa wanted to cry at the sight of the strong woman she loved looking so frail and fragile.

 

“She’s lucky.” Doctor Tsing had said, “Her head wound is what concerns me the most. Her brain is bleeding and is swollen. We took a small part of her skull off to relieve the pressure and to place a tube in to drain the blood. Even though the bullet didn’t penetrate her skull, the force of it still caused a lot of damage. I have all the confidence that she will survive _if_ she makes it through the night.”

 

“ _I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night_.” Lexa whispered to no one in particular as a single tear escaped from her eyes. The others in the room said nothing, instead, with sympathy in their eyes, just looked at the couple.

 

“Um…if she wakes up—“ The doctor began.

 

“ _When_.” Lexa cut her off, finally looking up at her, “ _When_ she wakes up, not if.”

 

“Right, okay, _when_ she wakes up we will be able to better grasp the extent of her head trauma.” Doctor Tsing concluded, “If you’ll follow me I’ll take you to Reyes’ room. She should be out of surgery now.”

 

Lexa didn’t know how long she had sat there, leaning forward in her chair staring at Clarke’s hand; memorizing every little detail. Her neck and back muscles were screaming for her to find a different position but she refused and welcomed the pain. Octavia’s voice startled her from her inner turmoil.

 

“How is she?” Octavia looked as haggard as Lexa felt. Lexa could tell the girl had been crying.

 

“She’s…she’s Clarke. She’s strong, so everything will be okay.” Lexa said, the lump forming in her throat again at the thought that she might not be okay. “How’s Reyes?”

 

Octavia’s eyes cast downward towards the floor, as if looking to it for a different answer than the one on the tip of her tongue. “If she lives, she’ll be lucky if she ever walks again. She lost a lot of blood and went into hypovolemic shock.”

 

Lexa shook her head; she could feel her stoic mask begin to crack. She was filled with indignation, “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. They can’t die!   Their fight is not over!”

 

Octavia, doing something she had never done before, rushed to Lexa and wrapped her arms around her. She had expected Lexa to push her away but instead Lexa sunk into the embrace.   They were both barely holding it together and found comfort in the others solidarity.

 

 

\--

 

Anya walked in to Griffin’s room to find Lexa in basically the same position she had left her in many hours before. Costia was sitting in a chair on the other side of Clarke lost in her thoughts.   Her heart broke at the sight.

 

“Lexa, have you eaten?” Anya asked as she entered the room.

 

“I’m fine.” Was Lexa’s answer.

 

“That’s not what I asked. You need to eat something.” Anya knew it had to at least been 18 hours since Lexa’s last meal.

 

“I’m not leaving her.” Lexa stated with finality.

 

“You are for however long it takes you to get food.” Anya wasn’t trying to be mean but she knew that she had to take care of her friend. Lexa wasn’t going to take care of herself, she was too focused on Clarke. If that meant she had to be perceived as the “bad guy” then so be it.   “Costia take her to the chow hall and make sure she eats something.”

 

Anya could see that Lexa was pissed but knew that Lexa would remember her place and not fight it. Lexa might have “hated” her in that moment but Anya knew that she really didn’t. She knew that Lexa was trying to hold on to any sense of control and normalcy that she could. Her whole world had been turned upside down and she was in fight or flight mode. For Lexa it was definitely fight.

 

“If something happens to her while I’m away, I will never forgive you.” Lexa growled as she stormed past Anya.

 

Anya blew out the breath she had been holding as she walked to the chair recently vacated by Lexa. She stared at the girl before her. If she didn’t know it was Griffin she wouldn’t have known it was Griffin. Her blonde locks had been cut short and a small area around the tube had been completely shaven.

 

“God, what have I done?” Anya’s guilt felt like a vice grip around her heart. “Clarke, I am so, so sorry. I don’t know if you can hear me or not but I…I…you have to pull through, Lexa needs you. Without you she’s a shell of the person I know. This is my fault, I know. I should have fought harder to get you moved to someone else’s team. I should have…goddammit it’s just like you and Reyes to go and get yourself hurt to prove a point.” Anya sardonically chuckled.

 

“Are you crying?” Lexa’s voice filled the room causing Anya to wipe angrily at her face.

 

“No! I think I’m allergic to…hospitals.” Anya said while quickly standing up. “I know you didn’t eat that fast.”

 

“I’m not leaving, Anya. Costia is going to bring me food. Why are you crying?” Lexa had never seen Anya cry, ever. She had been sure that the blonde had been born without tear ducts.

 

“I wasn’t cry—“ Anya gripped the back of her neck before looking up at Lexa, “Why do you think? My decision placed her in danger. I’m responsible for this.”

 

Drowning in her grief, Lexa had yet to think about how anyone else might be feeling. Lexa blamed herself for the predicament that Clarke was in; she never thought that Anya was blaming herself, too.

 

“An, it’s not your fault. Come here.” Lexa said as she wrapped her arms around the woman in front of her. “We all volunteered for this. We all knew that this could potentially happen to us. I mean, we never think that it will but it’s always in the back of our mind. You did what you were supposed to do. There is no way that you could have known that this would be the outcome of your decision. We forced your hand. Please, don’t blame yourself.”

 

“So you don’t hate me?” Anya mumbled into Lexa’s neck.

 

“Never. You’re the sister I never had…and never wanted.” Lexa smiled, feeling Anya lightly laugh in her arms.

 

“I better go check on Reyes and Blake. Let me know if you need anything, okay?” Anya squeezed Lexa’s shoulders once more then walked out of the room.

 

Lexa sat back down in the position she had been in since the first time she sat down. The silence in the room was deafening. All she wanted was for the beautiful blonde to open those beautiful blue eyes and tell her that everything was going to be okay. She couldn’t help but think of Gustus and how it felt when he died. That had been the worst feeling and time in her life. As bad as that had been, the prospect of losing Clarke wasn’t even comparable. Lexa knew that if Clarke died, she would die right along with her.

All of the possibilities with Clarke that Lexa had thought about were now in jeopardy. How quickly things could change. How quickly the person she loved could be taken from her. Life is but a vapor that appears for a while and then fades away. Lexa realized just how true that was. Her soul was wracked with grief. She didn’t know what to do. Clarke was right in front of her yet she still could do nothing to help. The tears began to fall freely from Lexa’s eyes, some from frustration but most from fear and devastation.

 

“Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt.” Lexa looked up see the Army officer standing at the foot of Clarke’s bed. She hadn’t even heard or seen him enter.

 

“Sorry.” Lexa said as she stood up and aggressively wiped the tears from her face. The officer motioned for her to sit, knowing that she stood due to his officer rank.

 

“No need to apologize. Tears are a language that God understands.” He said as he smiled at Lexa.

 

 _Great, an Army Chaplain._ “I don’t really believe in God, sir. At least, not in the way that most people do.” Lexa’s eyes stayed on Clarke’s face.

 

“I understand. May I ask you a question?” He waited until Lexa slightly shook her head, “When this all happened, did you pray?”

 

Lexa thought about his question. She had prayed but it wasn’t to the “God” that she believed in, it was to the God that Clarke believed in. Lexa was spiritual; she didn’t believe there was one big guy in the sky. She believed that “God” was everywhere, in everything. In that panicked moment, though, she wanted to believe that somebody had control of the outcome; that if she asked hard enough, maybe just maybe, Clarke’s God would hear her.

 

“I did. I prayed that God…or whomever was hearing me, would take me instead and spare Clarke.” Lexa said quietly.

 

“That’s very selfless of you. You must really care for her.”

 

“Care? No, that is not a strong enough word."  Lexa paused to put into words what she felt for Clarke, "My heart beats for her. My eyes open everyday for her.  She is the air that I breathe in.  She is the voice that I hear in the silence.   She is all my soul knows and everything it wants. I love…even love is too weak a word, yet one does not exist to portray the depths of what I feel for her.”

 

The officer could see the truth of everything she had just said in Lexa’s eyes as she looked at Clarke.

 

“Then perhaps you wouldn’t mind if I said my own little prayer?” Lexa noticed the chaplain’s hopeful expression.

 

“It couldn’t hurt, right.” Lexa had expected the chaplain to try and get her involved or at least try to hold her hand while he prayed over Clarke.

 

That is not what happened. He walked quietly to the side of Clarke and took her slender hand in both of his, his head was downcast, and his eyes shut. His prayer was not spoken aloud and his lips weren’t moving. The chaplain before her puzzled Lexa, he was not like any other she had ever come in contact with. Instead of feeling tense and judged like she felt around most of them, he made her feel calm and serene, peaceful. He looked vaguely familiar but couldn’t place where she had seen him.

 

She was staring at him with a perplexed look on her face, which did not change when he opened his eyes and looked at her.

 

“You’re not like normal chaplains.” She looked him over, “You don’t even have a Bible. “

 

He lightly laughed, not at her, but he was tickled by her observations, “No, I suppose I’m not.” He stared at Lexa intently before shifting his gaze back to Clarke, “I wouldn’t worry, she’s strong; she’ll pull through. Take care of her and make sure that she knows, everyday, that she is loved.  Protect her and love her with your whole heart, your whole being., Lexa.”

 

Lexa listened to the man in front of her. He sounded more like a father than a chaplain but he was right. Lexa looked at Clarke and smiled. Lexa knew that she would have no problem loving her with all of her heart, she already did.

 

“I didn’t catch your…name.” Lexa hesitated as she looked up and the chaplain was gone. _That guy has ninja stealth mode down pat!_   

 

\--

 

Clarke was confused. She had just been shielding Raven and now she was sitting in her childhood home’s living room. Clarke’s eyes scanned the room; it was just like she remembered it. She could feel the couch fabric beneath her fingertips, smell the scent of clean laundry, and hear the sounds of nature just beyond the window to her left. While it was all comforting, Clarke began to panic.

 

“It’s okay, Clarke.” Clarke was startled when her father appeared in the chair in front of her.

 

Clarke let out a strangled sob and rushed into her father’s arms. He felt so real. She could smell his cologne, feel his breath in her hair, and feel his warmth surround her.

 

“Are you real? Please tell me you’re real!” Clarke cried into her father’s shoulder.

 

“I’m as real as anything else, sweetie.” Jake said kissing the top of his crying daughter’s head.

 

“Am I dead?” Clarke asked as she leaned back to look at him, still not convinced that she was really seeing what she was seeing. She couldn’t stop touching him, afraid that if she loosened her grip on him that he would disappear.

 

“No, my love. “ Jake smiled sweetly at his daughter, wiping the tears from her face with his thumbs before kissing her forehead.

 

“I can’t believe you’re here. Dad, I miss you so much. Some days it’s almost unbearable. “ Clarke began crying again, burying her face in her father’s shoulder. There wasn’t a day that had went by that she didn’t think about him, wish that she could see him again and tell him that she loved him.

 

“Everything is going to be okay. You know that, right?” Jake asked her, coaxing her to look at him. When her watering eyes met his gentle ones he continued, “I’m always with you, Clarke. I’m always in here.” He said pointing at her heart.

 

Clarke smiled a sad smile. It was all confusing but she didn’t want to focus on that when she had her father in front of her. It had been so long since she had hugged him or heard his voice. She wished that Lexa could meet him; he would have loved her. _Lexa, oh god!_

“Dad, if I’m not dead, then where am I?”

 

“Here.” He stated simply.

 

“Where is here?”

 

“Everywhere.” He again stated simply, as if it was common knowledge, “We are everywhere and nowhere.”

 

“But I’m not dead?”

 

“You can never truly die when someone loves you.” He said smiling sadly at her, “Just as I live on in yours and your mom’s hearts and memories.   Remember that. Now, I think it’s time…” Jake paused as he gently grabbed Clarke’s wrist to look at the time on the watch he had given her before he had left on his last deployment that ultimately took his life.

 

“I—I…uh…I kind of proposed to a girl with it.” Clarke smiled nervously without looking up at her dad. She felt rather than heard him chuckle.

 

“I know, that’s why I wanted to see you. I wanted to say congratulations and to tell you that you have my blessing. Lexa is a good woman and she loves you. Be good to one another. I will be there, right beside you as you walk down that aisle and I’ll be there dancing with you. I love you, Clarke. To the moon and back. “ Jake had whispered the last bit of his sentence into her hair after she had hugged him tightly.

 

“I love you too, daddy.” Clarke said and then instantly felt absence of her father. Clarke sobbed harder and tried to open her eyes hoping to see him one more time.

 

\--

 

The bright light was harsh on her eyes. She rapidly blinked trying to orient herself to her surroundings. She was not where she had just been. The room was bright, cold, and she could hear commotion outside of the room. She felt warmth on her right hand and looked down to see Lexa holding her right hand in both of Lexa’s as she caressed the back of Clarke’s hand with her thumb. Clarke smiled down at Lexa when she leaned forward to place a long, gentle kiss where her thumbs had just caressed.

 

“I told you I’d come back to you.”


End file.
